Why You Should Never Be King

by Izzy Weitzman, age 11
Why You Should Never Be King Izzy is a long time Writopian. This is his second piece submitted to The (Parenthetical). He likes to write funny and poignant stories and poems. In addition to writing, he enjoys making games on Game Star Mechanic.

“Thou shall eat thy cereal,
For thou cannot and will not run the kingdom
Without thy corn flakes.”

                                       

Now thou shall wake up,

And thou shall wake up at the time thou is supposed to wake.

Thou shall eat thy cereal,

For thou cannot and will not run the kingdom

Without thy corn flakes.

 

Now thou shall listen to thy subjects.

Thou hates this part,

For thy subjects are insolent.

 

Now thou shall eat lunch in thy royal palace,

And thy lunch shall be a turkey egg and a small omelet,

From thy local peasants’ market.

 

Now thou shall oversee the construction of the new tower.

Thy tower is over thy budget,

And is three weeks behind thy schedule.

That is what thou shall change.

When thou shall tosseth thy foreman into thy dungeon,

For thy foreman plays miniature golf on thy job.

 

Now thou shall have dinner,

For thou is hungry after thy foreman incident.

Thy father says he should have lost his head.

Thy father is an imbecile, but he is a beloved member of thy royal council,

So his head is secure on his neck.

 

Now thou is going to sleep,

For thou is very, very tired.

And thou knows this shall happen tomorrow,

And thou will hate it all again.

 

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