“Once upon a time, there was a world of animals with no pollution, and everyone lived in peace. But as people got more advanced, we started polluting. There was a world that people could not see, but all the animals could. And a giant war between the animals started.”
Chapter 1: The First Battle
Once upon a time, there was a world of animals with no pollution, and everyone lived in peace. But as people got more advanced, we started polluting. There was a world that people could not see, but all the animals could. And a giant war between the animals started. There were four sides: the cows, the horses, cats, and dogs. They all wanted this land because it was untouched by humans. But they feared if they all lived there, there wouldn’t be enough space for them to live in peace again. There were lots of trees on the island, there was grass and flowers, there was no pollution, and there was lots of food. And so far, there were only rodents on the island.
The cats did not clip their nails, the dogs sharpened their teeth, the horses took fitness training, and the cows tried to be faster because they usually wanted to eat. The first cats, the bravest, took one of the two-legged boats and started to row to this land. The dogs, since they were great swimmers, started to swim to this land. The horses started to board cars that were going across this bridge that was going over the land and they jumped off, and the cows, since they were so heavy, took giant trees. They started to bonk into them so they would fall over to make a giant bridge. And once the cats and dogs reached the land, they started to fight. The cats climbed to the tallest trees, the dogs ran to the lowest hills, and the cats jumped down to the lowest hills, and the dogs got out of the way, so they would just fall. Then the dogs climbed up to the top of the hills and jumped down, and the cats got out of the way, so the dogs just fell down.
And then there was a cow driving a silent electric car across the bridge, and then the cow reached the land, and then he started driving all over the place. And then one of the cats looked down the bridge to see an army of cows marching up. Then a dog looked up on the higher bridge, that the two-leggeds made, to see a bunch of horses trotting on the cars. When they looked a little closer, they saw one of the horses is jumping down from the bridge. Then they noticed the horses and cows have been fighting, too. When the first horse came down, they noticed it had a big bruise on its forehead. And when the cow noticed he wasn’t that good at driving and got out, it had a big cut right above his hoof. Then the cows started to charge toward everybody, because they had been working on speed. But then a cow caught up with one of the cats and bonked into it, and the cat went flying out into the water. But the cat would never give up…
The cat rose and lifted its claw and said, “My name is Skydiver! You killed my sister! Prepare to die!”
And then it scratched the cow in the face. This cow had been bonking down a tree for fun and he didn’t notice, but Skydiver’s sister, Seaswimmer, was resting there, and the tree fell down on her. The cow started running around like crazy. And then he didn’t notice he had just jumped into the water and swam down to the very bottom. He was gone forever.
Skydiver said, “Farewell, old cow!”
Then Skydiver ran to his base. There was a newborn cat. They named the cat Snowjumper. The cat started to crawl around. The cat started to climb a tree. The cat started to sit down. The cat started to look around. The cat started to ask for milk. The cat started to climb down.
The cat said, “Meow! Meowww! MEOWWWW!”
The cat started to scratch the tree. The cat started to grow over time, until the cat was a big, strong cat. And then Skydiver went up to him one day. Skydiver was very old now.
He said, “You are the cat that will save all cats.”
“Really? Me? Are you sure it’s not that one? And are you sure that we’re gonna win?” said Snowjumper.
“Yes. I’m sure,” said Skydiver.
Chapter 2: Snowjumper Saves the Cats
Snowjumper was sitting at Seaswimmer and Skydiver’s graves. He looked at Skydiver’s grave and said, “I will try.” Then Snowjumper set off to fight. He was sad. Then he set off to the battle. When he went there, a horse had decided to drive the electric car. The horse laid down on the tops of the seats and drove on a dog. A couple of dogs brought the dog off to their home to make a grave.The cows were evil, the cats were good, the dogs were bad, and the horses just wanted to fight.
The cats got there first, and then the cows wanted it, and then the dogs decided they wanted it too, and the horses wanted to fight. One of the horses put on armor. One of the dogs picked up a spear. One of the cows picked up an orange, and Snowjumper picked up a poisonous mouse. The horse started galloping. The dog started charging. The cow threw the orange. It landed on a dog. And Snowjumper ordered the poisonous mouse to bite the horse. It bit the horse, and the horse got very sick. The horse jumped in the water to help its wound because there was no medicine anywhere, but it couldn’t swim, so it drowned.
When the sun shone, a prophecy was heard.
“Skydiver’s angel from the dead will help Snowjumper before the sun goes red.”
And when the sun went away again, a ghost appeared from Skydiver’s grave, and the ghost gave the cats a secret weapon: a bomb! All of the cats were ordered to take shelter, and Snowjumper sent the bomb up to the sky above the fields and was held by the ghost. And just when every animal jumped and noticed it was there, he dropped it.
It blew up, and almost all the animals died. But there were two from each animal except for the cats. Every one of them was there (except for 10, which died in battle) and they were all very determined animals. Both dogs barked like a wolf, the horses started to squeal, and the cows started jumping like crazy. And all the cats went out for battle, picking up other poisonous mice. They ordered four of them to the dogs. One of them died and the other one surrendered. And once he surrendered, all the other dogs came back to life and surrendered. They sent five to the horses. One of them died and the other one surrendered, and then all the horses came back to life and surrendered. Five of the cows came back to life. They all jumped in the water, and then they saw the cow from the beginning who was still alive trying to come out. The reason all these animals were coming back to life was part of the cats’ magic.
A giant sailboat that was driven by a pig came, and pigs were all over the ship. The pigs claimed that this was their land. But then the horses and dogs jumped aboard and drove the ship out of the way. The pigs didn’t know where the island was because they were turned around, so they went to another island.
Every animal surrendered — except for the cows. And all the cows that were in the water climbed out, and they all in unison screamed, “MOOOOOOOO!”
And Snowjumper looked in the cow’s eyes and said, “Bye-bye, cowies” and went in the electric car. And then he started driving, and the cow didn’t see. The cow ran right into the car. He didn’t know that the car was about to run into him. And then the rest of the cows surrendered, but they stayed on the island. The cats threw a bomb at them. Once the cow that killed Seaswimmer died, Seaswimmer came back to life. Snowjumper asked, “Who are you?”
“Well,” said Seaswimmer, “I was born in the sea. Swimming is my best talent. But I didn’t pass the test to be in this tribe. So I was sent to another tribe for foster. Then when I was ready, I took the test again and succeeded.”
Chapter 3: As Time Passed
Over time, all the cats lived in peace again. And Snowjumper and Seaswimmer got married and had a little kitten, and they named it Skydiver. They started to befriend the squirrels, and they planted a magical tree with magical fruits and leaves and animals and vegetables. This became their life supply. And they became vegetarians. The poisonous mice did not bite them. The poisonous mice were loyal to the cats.
The horses found Chincoteague Island where horses ran wild and ran free. And the dogs found excellent owners. And the cows had fun ruining clown shows. And at the Museum of Natural History, there was a statue with all five animals: pigs, horses, cows, dogs, and cats. And there was a little box that said, “These animals were fighting for a beautiful world, and they all found a happy spot, but only the cats got the island.”
Chapter 4: The Pigs
Did you wonder what the pigs were up to? The pigs wanted peanut butter sandwiches, but the person at the peanut butter sandwich store wouldn’t give them sandwiches! Now this person could speak pig, and said,
“If you spy on the animal war in New York City, then you will have peanut butter sandwiches.”
So, the pigs set off to New York City on a pig ship. If you can’t imagine this boat, imagine ten pigs on a sailboat going to New York City. When they got to America, they decided to jump into the water for a bath, and two of them swam to the very bottom to get a mud bath. Then, they got very dirty and came to the top, but when they got to the top they were clean because they were in the water. When they got to the Hudson River, they sailed up to Mount Marcy and then sailed down to the George Washington Bridge. Then, they started to swim to the nice green island. Then, they started to pop their heads up to look at the war. When they looked up, they saw a horse driving a car, blue nails on cats, poisonous mice scampering everywhere, dogs running around and barking, and barking more, and scratching, and scratching more, and cows squirting grape juice everywhere. They also saw a cow jumping into the water and swimming to the bottom, cows throwing oranges, horses wearing armor, dogs riding bicycles, and cats jumping down from trees. But what really caught their eyes were the amazing apples, even though they weren’t peanut butter sandwiches. When a pig got out of the water, a cat saw it. This cat was see-through and was flying. This cat had wings, and this cat looked like it was just a reflection from the sun. The pigs wanted to tell the peanut butter sandwich person everything in order to get their peanut butter sandwiches. They rode a pig plane this time! They told the peanut butter sandwich person everything! But, he said,
“Not enough information! We need to know who wins. What weapons are they using other than spears?”
The pigs were determined to get the peanut butter sandwiches, so they went back on another pig plane. Then, they went to LaGuardia and took a pig uber. They went to look at the war some more. They didn’t see any other weapons, but they saw other tactics. So they went back to the peanut butter sandwich person and told them everything, but the peanut butter sandwich person still wasn’t happy. He still wondered who won. It was obvious that the horses were gonna win, but the pigs went back. They were so tired of pig planes, but they took one. They watched the war a little more. They saw the angel-like cat drop a bomb, and everybody died, and everybody came back to life and went to get a sailboat. They went there because the cats won, and they couldn’t allow that. They sailed towards the island on the boat, and they made a big speech.
“We are the pigs of Britain, and we demand this land. If this land isn’t ours in thirty minutes, everyone shall die! The horses and dogs couldn’t allow this, so they jumped on the boat and turned it around. The pigs couldn’t find the island, so they went to Manhattan and everybody lived happily ever after, except for the pigs who didn’t get their peanut butter sandwiches. They went to the person and told him the cats had won, and finally, after what felt like a thousand years of spying, they got their peanut butter sandwiches!