“So once in third grade, we had a substitute teacher who was evil. His name was Mr. Broom, and once, I was putting a bin over to one of the shelves. Then the shelves knocked down on me, and he told me to clean it up. And he said for no one else to help. And he wouldn’t let us use the bathroom, so I peed in my pants once. And he was just completely evil.”
It started at a school with a kid, named Nigel, telling a story about a substitute teacher who was evil.
“So once in third grade, we had a substitute teacher who was evil. His name was Mr. Broom, and once, I was putting a bin over to one of the shelves. Then the shelves knocked down on me, and he told me to clean it up. And he said for no one else to help. And he wouldn’t let us use the bathroom, so I peed in my pants once. And he was just completely evil. But I heard that he could still be a substitute teacher,” Nigel said.
Femi said, “What? How did he not get fired?”
“Well, he was already there when we got there because he came at 6 o’clock a.m. and waited for everyone to come. So he would still have his job because students can only come in at 7:37 a.m. So he brang everyone up to class right when everyone was there, and everyone wanted to be first to school, so he always came early.”
Zee said, “Then why didn’t you come to school late?”
Nigel said, “We didn’t come late because if we came late, he wouldn’t let us come down until four o’clock p.m. and tell our parents we were being bad, so we would have to stay after school.”
Jake said, “But we don’t have detention in this school. That’s in the middle schools.”
Nigel said, “Well, he did it anyways.”
Zack said, “That’s out of this world.”
Ms. Ingrovalo said, “It’s time to pack your bags. It’s pick-up time. We’re going to go downstairs.”
“Yay, my mom is here,” a random person said.
“And there’s yelling everywhere,” Nigel said.
Jake said, “There’s always going to be yelling everywhere.”
Nigel said, “I know that. I know that already. I’ve been here for five years.”
Zee said, “See you at the park.”
The next day in the auditorium
“I wonder what’s taking so long for our teacher to be here,” Zee said, “And why’s there a random person coming to our class?”
Nikhl said, “Well, he’s another kid. Maybe he wasn’t here yesterday because it’s the beginning of the school year.”
Zee asked, “What’s your name?”
Shish Kebab said, “My name is Shish Kebab.”
Zack and Xander both said, “Shish Kebab? No way. We created a book called Shish Kebab, and all it said was shish kebab, shish kebab, shish kebab, shish kebab, shish kebab.”
Shish Kebab said, “I am confused.”
Nigel said, “Why is it taking your teacher so long?”
Zee said, “That’s what I just said. Well, actually, maybe thirty minutes ago.”
A unknown teacher said, “Your teacher is sick, so you’re going to have a substitute teacher.”
Nigel said, “Oh. I don’t like substitute teachers because of Mr. Broom.”
Zee said, “Well, I’m just going to hope that it’s not going to be Mr. Broom.”
The substitute teacher was about fifty years old and had a bad temper. He looked very impatient, and he wore a beige shirt, a blue tie, and black pants. He was bald.
Nigel said, “Oh no. It’s Mr. Broom.”
Shish Kebab said, “Who’s Mr. Broom? ‘Cause I think he could be a broom with sticks as arms and legs covered in some weird paper, and for a head, he could have a paper bag with a mouth and ears and eyes but no hair.”
Mr. Broom yelled at Shish Kebab, “You don’t say that about me!”
Shish Kebab said, “Okay. Now I know not to do that.”
Mr. Broom said, “I remember you, Nigel. Everybody get in line.”
Everybody said, “Okay.”
Mr. Broom said, “We’re going to go up the stairs, and I don’t want to hear a word. Okay everybody. Get to your seats.”
Nigel said, “Uh, I don’t have a seat.”
Mr. Broom said, “Go get one.”
“Nigel said, “Okay,” and got the seats.
He put it at the same table that he was at yesterday.
Nikhl said, “Can I use the bathroom?”
Mr. Broom yelled, “No!”
Nikhl said, “What?”
Mr. Broom said, “Don’t speak back. Now when you’re with me, the rules are different. You cannot use the bathroom. You cannot say anything unless you are at lunch or recess. You cannot get here late. No talking back.”
A random person from the hallway yelled, “Nooooo.”
Mr. Broom yelled, “No talking back!!!”
A random teacher asked, “Is everything okay?”
Mr. Broom said, “Yes.”
The random teacher said, “Okay.”
Then the random teacher left.
Mr. Broom said, “Everyone get out your writing notebook.”
Everyone said, “Okay.”
Mr. Broom said, “I said no talking back.”
Everybody got out their writing notebooks.
Mr. Broom said, “Everybody, I’m going to give you a subject to write about.”
Everyone got a subject. No one liked their subject.
Mr. Broom said, “You’re supposed to be done in a week. Your writing must be twenty pages.”
After a couple of hours, it became lunchtime.
Mr. Broom said, “It’s lunchtime.”
Everyone got their lunchboxes. Everyone went downstairs to the cafeteria. There was yelling and shouting, yelling, yelling, shouting, yelling, shouting, and more shouting.
A random person said, “I want my mommy.”
Nikhl said, “He’s actually an evil teacher.”
People said, “You’re right.”
Xander said, “You’re right.”
Nikhl said, “It makes me not want to be in this class anymore.”
Zee said, “Me too.”
Xander said, “I’m pretty sure that everyone thinks that. I hope that recess is better.”
Zee said, “It is not eight minutes anymore.”
A random coach said, “It’s recess time. Everyone get in line, it’s recess time.”
A random person said, “Yay, it’s recess time.”
Another random person said, “I still want my mommy.”
Everyone played, yelling, screaming, shrieking, and screaming.
Zee said, “I brought a piece of paper and a pen, and I made a map of the school. I have an idea. So we’re going to say that we forgot our lunch.”
Xander said, “Oh, good. I actually did forget my lunch.”
Nikhl said, “I did too.”
Zee said, “Well, I forgot mine on purpose. So instead of going and getting our lunch, we’ll go up to the second level of the school, and go into the main office, and say that we need to see the principal. So, are you up for it?”
Nikhl and Xander said, “Yes.”
Logan said, “Good s — hey can Nigel and I come? We forgot our lunch too.”
Zee said, “Yeah sure. But we’re not getting our lunch until we get Mr Broom fired.”
Nigel said, “Oh. Awesome. I’m definitely in for it.”
“Me too,” Logan said.
Zee said, “Okay, let me tell you the plan. So I made a map of the school, and I also wrote down a plan on some post-its, and I put them down on the parts that they are supposed to be on. So the first thing that we’re going to do is that we’re going to say that we forgot our lunch. Then, we’re going to go into the building and go up to the second floor, and we’re going to say that we need to speak to the principal. And when they let us speak to the principal, then we’re going to tell her what Mr. Broom did. He’ll get fired, and yay. Mr. Broom is gone.”
Nikhl said, “But what if Mr. Broom sees us?”
Zee said, “Mr. Broom is going to be on the third floor checking our homework.”
Xander asked, “What if one of the teachers sees us going upstairs?”
Zee said, “Then we’ll say that we’re checking the lost and found in the main office.”
“Same thing if we are upstairs and that happens, right?” asked Nigel.
“Yeah,” Zee said.
“Okay,” said Logan.
“Come on, let’s get on with it then,” Zee said.
“Okay,” everyone except for Zee said.
They went to the coach.
Logan said, “We forgot our lunch, and we need to get it.”
“Hey, Nigel can you bring them to the lost and found?” the coach said.
Nigel said, “Okay.”
Zee said, “Okay. So now we’re going to go into the school, and we’re going to go up to the second level. Then we go to the main office and ask if we can see the principal. If a teacher asks why we’re going upstairs, what do we do?”
Nikhl said, “We’re going to say we’re going to check the upstairs lost and found because we forgot our lunch boxes at school yesterday.”
“But before we do that, what should we do?” Zee asked.
Logan answered, “We’re going to check the lost and found downstairs.”
“Good,” Zee said, then asked, “What about when we’re upstairs?
“Same thing,” Xander said.
“Excellent,” Zee said.
“Do we go in now?” asked Nigel.
A police officer asked, “Why are you coming in now?”
Zee said, “We forgot our lunch boxes at school yesterday.”
“Okay, go on in,” said the police officer.
“Okay, so now we’re going to go up the stairs. Come on,” said Zee.
They walked up to the second level.
“Follow me,” Zee said.
They went into the main office.
Nigel said, “We need to talk to the principal.”
Ms. Anali said, “Why do you need to talk to the principal?”
Logan said, “It’s because of our substitute teacher, Mr. Broom.”
“Okay, but only one of you can go in.”
Logan said, “I’ll do it.”
Logan went into the principal’s office.
Principal Castiano asked, “Why are you here?”
Logan said, “Because of our evil substitute teacher.”
Principal Castiano asked, “How is he evil?”
Logan said, “Well, he doesn’t let us use the bathroom, and once Nigel peed in his pants because Mr. Broom wouldn’t let him use the bathroom. And once, Nigel was putting away the bin of markers and crayons, and the shelf knocked down on him. The art supplies spilled, and Mr. Broom made him clean it up all by himself, and he was hurt.”
Principal Castiano said, “What?! I’m going to call him down and tell him that he’s fired. But I’m going to ask you to go back to recess now.”
Logan came out of the room. Mr. Broom went in.
Logan told Nigel, Zee, Xander, and Nikhl that Mr. Broom was about to be fired. They went down to get their lunchboxes and go back to recess. When they got back to recess, everyone was lined up at their cones. Logan told everyone in his class what he had done, and how he did it, and that Mr. Broom was now fired.