Toilets

by Ezra Mellor, age 10
Toilets Ezra likes to write comedies and romances. He likes to read featured articles and biographies. When he is not writing or reading, he likes to play sports, such as baseball and soccer.

“LAFAYETTE: Hi, I’m applying for a job here at Dingle Burger. / MULIGAN:Young man, come here. We need you for a job, plus you’re handsome with a muscular body. I follow you on Instagram!”

LAFAYETTE pulls into the parking center in a dirty, floppy car.

He walks into a store, rings the bell on the door.

 

LAFAYETTE

Hi, I’m applying for a job here at Dingle Burger.

 

MULIGAN

Young man, come here. We need you for a job, plus you’re handsome with a muscular body. I follow you on Instagram!

 

LAFAYETTE

I’m glad, you stalker?

(goes into back)

 

MULIGAN

Okay. Come here.

 

LAFAYETTE

Okay.

 

MULIGAN

We need help with the toilets. They are nasty. There are code browns.

(walks to door)

 

LAFAYETTE

POOOOOP! Oh, I’m leaving.

(follows MULIGAN to door)

 

MULIGAN

We need you.

 

LAFAYETTE

NO.

 

MULIGAN

How about I add 20 bucks to your paycheck?

 

LAFAYETTE turns towards MULIGAN with a cheeky smile.

 

LAFAYETTE

Seriously?

 

MULIGAN whispers to himself.

 

MULIGAN

That fool. I pick-pocketed that money right from his pocket. I learned that from France.

 

LAFAYETTE

What’s the pay?

 

MULIGAN

Twenty-one dollars of mulah.

 

LAFAYETTE

Kay.

(walks to toilet)

 

MULIGAN

Shall we get started? Put this mask on.

 

LAFAYETTE

Kay.

(puts on mask)

 

MULIGAN

Get in.

 

LAFAYETTE walks into restroom.

 

LAFAYETTE
Anyone in here?

 

 

FRINDY

(sitting on the toilet)

Aaah I’m reading here.

 

LAFAYETTE

Okay. What book?

 

FRINDY
How Toilets Work in Junk Stores.

 

LAFAYETTE

Cool? Well then, please get out.

 

FRINDY

(still sitting on toilet)

I’m using the restroom.

 

LAFAYETTE

I thought you were reading.

 

FRINDY

I’m doing both.

 

LAFAYETTE walks towards to stall with FRINDY in it.

 

LAFAYETTE

Are you finished soon?

(opens door)

 

FRINDY

Yeah.

 

LAFAYETTE walks in front of the door. FRINDY and LAFAYETTE’S eyes see each other.

 

LAFAYETTE

Oh, hey tiger.

 

FRINDY

Oh, hey you.

 

FRINDY and LAFAYETTE walk out of the bathroom together.

 

LAFAYETTE

Want to go out tonight?

 

FRINDY

Sure???

 

LAFAYETTE

Let me clean the code browns first.

 

FRINDY

‘Kay, sexy. Clean them good.

 

LAFAYETTE

I will, bae.

 

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