The True Story of the Cow Who Jumped Over the Moon

You’ve heard the story, you’ve told the tale, but do you know the truth?

 

Cow

Dear Fellow Lover of Grass Diary, a.k.a. FLOGD. My name is Mr. Moody Cow. You have probably guessed by now that I’m a cow. Today is the anniversary of my birth. I’m officially 97 years old. My arch nemesis, the moon, probably does not even know cows have birthdays! Cows have birthdays too, you know! He thinks he’s so great, but all he does is sit in the sky like a sack of floating potatoes.

Moon

Dear Honey Love Space Diary, a.k.a. HLSD. My name is Mr. Moon, and whatever my friend the cow said is not true. Actually, I take that back. He is not even my friend! Today is my birthday. I’m officially 97 years old. My arch nemesis, the cow, probably doesn’t even know moons have birthdays! He thinks he’s so great, munching on grass all the time. Well, guess what? He’s not!

Cow

Remember me? Mr. Moody Cow? Ring a bell? Seriously, I’m shaking like bacon trying to get you to hear this bell around my neck! Moon has probably been boring you to death with all his bragging.

Moon

Hello again. It’s me, the moon. I hate the cow, and you know why… Wait, you don’t? Oh, well then I’ll tell you… It was a dark and stormy night when it happened. We were in kindergarten. I was just a moonstone back then, and he was only a calf. We were singing Mary Had a Little Lamb. I wondered when the land would arrive. I looked over at the cow. I could tell he was wondering the same thing. Then, we went back to our seats to draw. I finished drawing the pictures for my new story. I reached for the stapler to finish off my book. My fingers could almost reach it. And all of a sudden, the stapler was missing! I looked up, and the cow was holding it.

Cow

Hello again. I heard the moon was telling you about what happened in kindergarten. Well, forget what he said. I’m going to tell you what really happened… It was a perfect sunny day when it happened. It was almost Moon’s birthday. I had started making him a card. We sang The Itsy Bitsy Spider. I grabbed the stapler, so I could finish his card and suddenly, Moon got up and tattled on me for absolutely no reason! That little snitch! I had to go to the time-out corner for a whole minute! ARRGH!!! I’ll get you someday, Moon!!!

Cow

I have figured out a way to get back at Moon. It is the most amazing plan in the world! I have decided to challenge Moon to see who can get down the hills faster. He thinks he’s going to win, but I have a (clever) plan.

Narrator

Cow then went over to Moon’s house. Cow told Moon that he would like to do a challenge. Cow then told him the challenge, and Moon accepted. They agreed to do it tomorrow at dawn. Then, Moon and Cow shook hands and grinned because they both thought they were going to win.

Moon

I know that I’m going to win. My fast movements beat Cow’s short, stubby legs any day. And I bet when I win, he will want to do a rematch. I can’t wait to see Cow’s chubby, fat face become sad.

I just realized something… you are a great listener! Thank you.

Cow

In one hour and two minutes, I will beat Moon.

(One hour later… )

In two minutes, I will beat Moon.

(Three minutes later… )

I BEAT MOON!!! OH YEAH BABY!!! I just realized that I am actually kind of sneaky and evil for a character in a nursery rhyme.

Moon

I’M SO MAD! I can’t believe Cow beat me! I had a plan!

Step One: Arrive at the field.

Step Two: Wait for Cow.

Step Three: Win.

Step Four: Have a giant dance party!

But Cow ruined my life, again! Now that I think of it, I’m really dramatic for a character in a fairy tale. Now, I have a foolproof plan to get revenge.

Narrator

Knock, knock. Suddenly, Cow heard a knock on his door. Cow walked over to answer the door.

“Oh, it’s you,” Cow said, as he stared at the moon.

“Yes, it’s me, Mr. Moon. That is my name. Do you mind if I come in?”

“Sure, but I was just leaving. Don’t make yourself feel at home, my enemy.”

Moon

Now, my plan is going perfectly! I can’t believe that Cow left his apartment alone and left me. Time for the rest of my plan to take action.

Step One: Before I go down to earth, make myself a cup of sky tea to go relax.

Step Two: Go to Cow’s house and drink my tea.

Step Three: Make myself at home. Gain access into enemy’s secret lair.

Step Four: Read diary.

Step Five: Come up with a challenge that Cow cannot beat.

Cow

Hey, guys! Guess what?! I’m not really just leaving. I’m going to the Sky to read Moon’s diary! He’ll never see it coming! Once again, I came up with the best plan first.

Three… Two… One… Blast off! I’m taking a trip to Moon’s house. I’m going on a trip in my brand new rocket ship, zooming to the sky, to read Moon’s diary!

Ooh, let me float over to his house. This is like swimming, but with no water! I’m drowning! Oh yeah, we’re in space. I finally reached Moon’s house!

“Dear Honey Love Space Diary, a.k.a. HLSD… ”

This is all junk! Oh wait, I found something… ! Nope, still junk. I need to find his weakness! Or maybe, I can find my strength.

Moon

This is all junk! Oh wait, I found something… ! Nope, still junk. I better keep looking just in case. Oh, here’s something.

“Dear Fellow Lover of Grass Diary a.k.a FLOGD,

I haven’t told anybody this. But I’m scared that Moon might challenge me to jump over him.”

That’s what I’ll challenge him to do! I’ve got my plan…

Cow

You know what? I can’t find anything. I’ve only been reading for a few minutes, and I’m so tired of this! Moon is not a very good writer. Well, let me go back to my rocket ship.

I’m going on a trip in my brand new rocket ship, zooming to the earth, so I can go eat!

Moon

Oh no! I hear him coming! I’m going to get stuck in the door! (Thump.) Oh no, I’m stuck! It must have been the tea…

Cow

Three… Two… One… BLAS — landing! … I’m finally back! Trot, clippity clop, trot, clippity clop.

“AH! Why did you make yourself at home! Get out of my house!” I said to Moon.

“I can’t! I’m stuck!” Moon said to me.

“Well then, just break my roof!” I said sarcastically.

“Okay, then,” Moon said, and he broke through my roof!

Narrator

Moon and Cow discuss the challenge. Even though Cow was scared, he agreed. He was a cow, not a chicken.

Cow

As I headed over to meet Moon, I felt butterflies in my stomach. Oh wait, no. They’re not inside my stomach. They’re on me! Shoo, butterflies! Anyway, I’m really nervous. I don’t know if I am able to beat Moon, but I must try. How did he even know my weakness? Oh, I know. He’s a super psychic from outer space! That’s the only possible answer. Unless he read my diary, but that’s not possible.

Moon

When’s Cow going to get here? Is all that fat slowing him down? Oh, here he comes.

“Hi there, Cow! What took you so long?” I yelled. “Let’s start this challenge already, so I can win.”

Cow

Oh my gosh! I’m gonna lose, but I can’t let Moon know.

“I’m ready,” I said in a deep voice to look brave (and keep from crying).

Three… Two… One… Jump!

Narrator

And time seemed to go so slowly, or maybe that’s because I’m talking slowly. And. Then. Time stopped.

Cow looked into the sky. “Ahhhh, I want my mommy!” screamed Cow.

“Help me!” Moon screamed. When he peered into the large river below them, it seemed as if Cow was winning.

Cow

I lost! I didn’t jump over him!

Moon

Wahhh! I really thought I’d win! I don’t know how he did it, but he jumped over me! I know, because I looked in the river. I saw him; he flew over me. Noooo!

Cow

I need to do one more final challenge to beat Moon. I need to go back into his diary and find his weakness. Does he even have a weakness? He must. Last time, I only read one page. This time I need to read more and look deeper. I must understand the true meaning of Moon’s words.

Moon

I don’t know if you know this, but I love elaborate plans. So, I made another one!

Step One: Get to Cow’s house.

Step Two: Do not drink the sky tea.

Step Three: Read Cow’s diary, again.

Step Four: Have a dance party!

Step Five: Get out quickly before Cow gets home.

Step Six: Have another dance party!

Now, I just have to go down to earth.

Cow

Blast off in three… two… one… I’m going on a trip in my gently used rocket ship, zooming to the sky, to read Moon’s diary! For the second time!

I’m floating again! I could get used to this. Anyways, I gotta get to Moon’s house. Then…

(Five minutes later… )

I finally got to Moon’s house. I got Moon’s diary again. He has to try harder to hide this thing.

“Dear HLSD, my name is Mr. Moon and whatever my friend, the cow, said is not true. Actually, I take that back, he is not even my friend! Today is my birthday. I’m officially 97 years old. My arch nemesis, the cow, PROBABLY DOESN’T EVEN KNOW MOONS HAVE BIRTHDAYS! He thinks he’s SO great, munching on grass all the time. Well guess what, he’s not!”

Hey! That’s what I wrote in my diary! It must be a coincidence.

(Ten minutes later… )

Hey! He copied all of mine! Everything from the birthday to the challenges. It’s like we have the same mind! This is not a coincidence. I have to go tell him!

Moon

I’m entering Cow’s house. Oh, look! I found his diary! He’s got to hide this better.

“Dear Fellow Lover of Grass Diary, a.k.a. FLOGD, my name is Mr. Moody Cow. You have probably guessed by now that I’m a cow. Today is my anniversary of my birth. I’m officially 97 years old. My arch nemesis, the moon, probably does not even know cows have birthdays! COWS HAVE BIRTHDAYS TO YOU KNOW! He thinks he SO great, but all he does is sit in the sky like a sack of floating potatoes.”

Hey! That’s what I wrote! He copied me! It must be a coincidence.

(Ten minutes later… )

Hey! This is exactly what I wrote! It’s like we have the same mind! This is not a coincidence… I have to go tell Cow!

Narrator

Cow and Moon rushed to each other to tell each other the strange news. They met in-between the two houses. Half on the sky, half on the ground. It was as if the rocket ship was a hover ship instead.

“Hey! I have something to tell you! We wrote the same things in our diary!” they said at the same time.

“Wait? How do you know what I wrote in my diary?” once again, they said at the same time.

“No, how you do you know?” they exclaimed at the same time.

“Oh, fine! I read your diary,” they said together.

“Wait, what? I read your diary!” they both yelled.

“Okay, fine, you go first,” Cow said (by himself).

“Okay, fine. I’ll go. I read your diary because I really wanted to win the challenges for once. You kept winning, and I don’t know… I just felt kind of maybe jealous. Now, you tell,” Moon said.

“NO, NO, NO! THAT’S THE REASON I READ YOUR DIARY!” Cow yelled.

“Woah! Cool down. You really are moody,” Moon said.

“Wait, so I just said that I felt jealous, and you said the same thing. You felt jealous of me?” they both said.

“Well, sorta,” said Moon.

“Maybe, yes,” sighed Cow. “Why would you ever be jealous of me? You always say that I’m just a lazy cow, munching grass all day.”

“You say I’m just a sack of floating potatoes in the sky.”

“Well, maybe I just said those things cause I was jealous. I’m sorry,” they both said.

Cow and Moon then hugged it out, but it was kind of hard for Cow to hug it out, since he was half in the sky.

Epilogue

In the end, Cow and Moon invited all their friends to celebrate both of their birthdays. Ninety-seven years of disagreeing, and finally, they were friends.

Cow and Moon shouted, “Dance party!”