The Room Escape and the Employment

by Kiran Tikoo, age 10
The Room Escape and the Employment

“JOHN gets sledge hammer. JOHN makes holes in the walls. BOB gets out of wall. BOB lights match and gets back to work. BOB trips over brick and drops match into hole.”

 

Scene 1

A storage room/classroom. It is not neat. There is a pile of random items in the corner. The pile includes wood. ALAN is wearing red, JOHN is wearing blue, and BOB is wearing white. They’re standing in the room.

ALAN

It is no use! We’re locked in here. We might as well light a fire.

JOHN

That’s it! We can weld through the knob! We have five matches. Let’s make each one count.

ALAN gets on the ground with BOB. JOHN is looking through the pile.

ALAN

Get on the ground, Bob! We need to try to make a fire to help weld through the knob!

BOB and ALAN get on the ground.

ALAN

As soon as I light the match, start blowing on it to get the fire going.

ALAN lights the match. BOB blows out the match as soon as ALAN lights it.

ALAN

Go help someone else, Bob.

(Lights.)

We see time pass. We see JOHN and ALAN lift up BOB and use him as a battling ram to break down the door. It doesn’t work.

 

Scene 2

Fifteen to twenty minutes later.

JOHN puts hand on head. Everybody sits on the ground and focuses hard.

BOB

Maybe we could get a sign that says we’re stuck in here.

ALAN

That seems like a great idea, Bob! Wait a minute, we can’t go to the roof and get a sign that says we’re stuck in here. Bring the firewood here, Bob.

BOB drops wood on ALAN’S foot. ALAN looks angrily at BOB. ALAN hits BOB with his hat. ALAN lights a fire. JOHN turns around.

JOHN

We’re in luck! I found hangers we can use to weld our way out of here.

JOHN puts hangers on the ground.

JOHN

Bob, come here.

BOB stomps over hangers and comes to JOHN.

JOHN puts hand on head.

 

Scene 3

JOHN

Maybe we can use a table or chair leg to weld the lock on the door.

ALAN

Let’s get started.

BOB

What can I do?

ALAN

Sit down and be quiet.

BOB

Then what can I do?

ALAN

Sit down and be quiet.

BOB

But I want to do something!

ALAN

That’s what you’re doing! Sitting down and being quiet!

BOB

Are we having bad luck?

ALAN

Of course not.

Three bowling balls crash to the floor. Fire goes out. Thunder roars.

BOB

When will we have bad luck?

ALAN

I’d say about five hours ago when the two of us AND YOU got us locked in here.

JOHN relights the fire.

 

Scene 4

Forty-five minutes later. A lot of the firewood is burnt out. BOB puts a lot more wood on the fire. BOB takes a metal chair from the corner of the room.

BOB

We’re never going to get out. Let me just sit in this metal chair.

JOHN

YOU DID IT, BOB!

BOB

Did what?

ALAN

Found a metal chair. Let’s get it ready right away.

BOB and ALAN bring the chair to the fire.

JOHN

It’s no use! We won’t be able to use the chair to weld through the door.

BOB

We might never get out. We might starve to death or die of old age in here.

The fire goes out.

ALAN

We’re out of firewood!

ALAN

Bob, you got us into this mess.

BOB

John, you agreed with this. How could you let this happen?

JOHN

Alan, you drove us here! You should know that a lot of people get locked in here yearly.

ALAN

John, you got us into this mess!

JOHN

Bob, you agreed with this, how could you let this happen?

BOB chucks a chair at JOHN. It hits ALAN by mistake. ALAN looks at BOB, and BOB bangs the chair on his own head.

 

Scene 5

We see JOHN and ALAN arguing in silence. BOB sits in the corner, playing chess with a mannequin.

BOB

Mannequin, you checkmated me for the twenty third time!

(Time passes.)

 

Scene 6

BOB

Look, the person who lived here must be really tiny.

ALAN

How do you know, Bob?

BOB

There’s this tiny door here.

ALAN

BOB, THAT’S A DOG DOOR. WE CAN GET OUT OF HERE!

JOHN

Hold your horses! We need someone that is so skinny that they can fit through the door.

Everyone except BOB looks at BOB.

BOB

I don’t want to go through.

ALAN

Then we will need to make you.

BOB runs around in circles.

BOB runs into ALAN.

BOB runs the other way.

BOB bumps into JOHN.

ALAN

Put your head into the doggy door. NOW!

BOB puts head into doggy door.

Dog barks.

BOB pulls head out of door.

BOB

I had a friend named Petey Parker, and he was twice your size, and he fit through the doggy door.

ALAN

Well, how did he do that?

BOB

He cheated. Maybe we can get a police officer to knock down the door.

ALAN

We can’t knock down the door, and there is no police officer to knock down the door either.

JOHN

Maybe we can ram through the doggy door with the metal chair.

ALAN

Where is the chair, Bob?

BOB starts to move back.

ALAN

You didn’t forget it, did you?

Alan moves towards Bob.

BOB

No.

ALAN

Are you sure?

BOB trips over chair.

BOB

Yes.

Chair breaks.

ALAN

THE CHAIR!

BOB

I can fix this.

ALAN

HOW, BOB? HOW?

BOB

Look there.

BOB points his finger at closet.

ALAN looks at closet.

BOB goes through doggy door.

ALAN

What is so interesting, Bob?

ALAN looks to where BOB was.

ALAN

JOHN, BOB IS GONE. HELP ME FIND HIM!

JOHN and ALAN look through the room.

BOB comes into room licking ice cream.

BOB taps ALAN’s shoulder.

ALAN

Help me look for you, Bob.

ALAN realizes BOB is in front of him.

ALAN

BOB! JOHN, COME HERE. WE FOUND BOB.

JOHN runs over.

JOHN

BOB, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM?

BOB

It’s easy! I went through the doggy door.

ALAN

Can you get a crowbar?

BOB

Ok.

BOB goes through doggy door.

ALAN

DON’T GET ICE CREAM. COME IN. NOW.

BOB crashes through the door.

BOB gives the crowbar to ALAN.

ALAN

Bob, use the crowbar to unhinge the door which you broke through. NEVER MIND THAT. WE’RE SAVED! WE’RE SAVED!

JOHN

We’re saved! We’re saved!

ALAN

We’re saved!

JOHN

We’re saved!

Everybody runs out of the room. BOB comes back into the room, takes the mannequin, and leaves.

END OF ACT 1

 

ACT 2

BOB, ALAN, and JOHN sit in a kitchen.

ALAN

We just got this job, and we do not want anybody messing up.

ALAN and JOHN look at BOB.

ALAN

Let’s get started. Bob, you make the drinks, John makes the dessert, and I will make the dinner.

BOB goes to the counter top. JOHN and ALAN go to the fridge. BOB opens a drawer and pulls out a bag of baking soda and pours it into five glasses. ALAN looks at the glasses that BOB filled.

ALAN

Bob, pour water in. That’s too powdery.

ALAN looks back into the fridge. BOB pulls a bottle labeled ‘vinegar’ and pours it in the glasses. The glasses foam up. Foam gets all over the floor. JOHN turns around and sees the foam on the floor. JOHN puts hand on head. ALAN turns around.

ALAN

CLEAN THIS UP.

BOB tries to sweep with the the broom upside down.

ALAN

YOU’RE SWEEPING WITH THE BROOM UPSIDE DOWN, BOB.

ALAN

Never mind that. Make the drinks.

ALAN pulls chicken out of the fridge. ALAN slips on the foam and falls on the floor.

BOB

Are you okay?

ALAN

I will be fine… after we finally get another job.

JOHN

JUST GET BACK TO WORK NOW.

Everybody gets back to work. JOHN starts working on drinks. JOHN pours jello mix into pitcher. JOHN pours wine into pitcher. JOHN pours gasoline into pitcher. JOHN turns around and accidentally drops match into pitcher. Radio turns on. Radio starts playing rock and roll. JOHN starts dancing with pitcher in his hand. Pitcher catches on fire. JOHN throws pitcher out the window. JOHN continues dancing. JOHN falls into the sink.

ALAN

ARE YOU TAKING A BATH?

JOHN

Yes.

ALAN and BOB stop what they’re doing and go into the sink. Everyone starts taking a bath.


Scene 2

JOHN is eating donuts.

JOHN

Mmm… these donuts are good.

BOB

Can I have some?

ALAN

They’re small, so you can have two.

ALAN takes two donuts from box and shoves them into BOB’S ears.

BOB

Oh great, you got donuts in my ears!

JOHN

Look. there’s a donut remover.

JOHN points to sign that says, ‘do not remove.’ BOB pulls out sign that says, ‘do not remove.’ Cabinets fall. Lights go out.

ALAN

You idiot, you…

(Lights match.)

 

Scene 3

Everyone is working. BOB accidentally bumps into radio. Radio breaks.

ALAN

LOOK WHAT YOU’VE DONE.

BOB slowly backs away and trips over brick. Head goes into wall.

ALAN

JOHN, STOP WAITING AROUND. GET HIM OUT OF THE WALL.

JOHN gets sledge hammer. JOHN makes holes in the walls. BOB gets out of wall. BOB lights match and gets back to work. BOB trips over brick and drops match into hole.

BOB

FIRE! FIRE! FIRE!

ALAN grabs hose and fires it into the hole. Fire goes out.

ALAN

THAT’S IT. I’VE HAD IT. I’M DONE.

ALAN stomps out of the room.

BOB

What happened?

JOHN

He left… let’s get back to work.

BOB gets back to work. BOB lifts up a bowl. BOB finds ALAN’S hat.

BOB

I miss Alan.

JOHN

C’mon, it’s not that bad.

BOB

Well, at least we still have donuts.

JOHN

Don’t forget the Do-Nut-Remover.

BOB

And electricity.

BOB turns around, knocking down the donut box and the do not remove sign. Electricity goes out.

JOHN

I can fix this. I only need to get out of the window.

JOHN jumps out of the window.  Lights go back on.

JOHN

Help me get back in.

BOB

Okay.

BOB leans into the window. BOB falls out of the window.

BOB

AHHHHHHH.

ALAN comes back inside the room.

ALAN

I’m sorry, fellas.

ALAN looks through the window, seeing BOB out of the room.

ALAN

I will help you, Bob.

 

Scene 4

Thirty minutes pass. Everyone is sitting on the floor.

ALAN

A few minutes after I left, I realized that I was nothing without you. I realized I had to open up to you.

JOHN

We need a new job.

BOB

We could be playing around with ships and planes.

JOHN

That’s it! We could join the army.

ALAN

That’s an excellent idea.

BOB

Right face!

(Everyone turns right.)

BOB

Forward march!

(Everyone marches out of the room)

 

The End

 

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