“’Awww, she is so cute,’ Barney said. Little did Barney, Barney, and Barney know that she would start a war.”
Ahhh! Pug banshee. That is what was in the letter, thought Detective Frank. Now he had to figure out who was the pug banshee.
Meanwhile, across town, a pug was right in front of a computer ordering a black hoodie and a new scythe because his old one had blood on it.
After interviewing every human in town, Frank fell onto his couch. It broke. I will order a new one on Amazon, he thought. Then he realized that the murderer must have ordered something on Amazon Prime. The signal led him to a warehouse. He stepped inside the warehouse. All of a sudden he heard a scream so loud he died. A Pug banshee was standing over him.
“Nice work,” Barney said as he stepped out of the shadows.
Leela Levine was crawling down the street at midnight, eating a box of cookies. Sure, she was not allowed to leave the house past her bedtime, or eat too many cookies, but hey, she could just blame the chauffeur. Then she crawled right into a cave in Hastings. The cave of the Pug banshee. He attacked her with his scream. Then she got upset and attacked him with a bazooka. Then they fell in love. All of a sudden they had a baby who they named Petruska.
“Awww, she is so cute,” Barney said. Little did Barney, Barney, and Barney know that she would start a war.
Blinky was bored. Sure, he had 765 marriages planned, but still, just because he’d called dibs on 764 pretty singers, and one dib on Heidi Klum, did not mean he wouldn’t be bored sometimes. Plus, he was a three year old, so he was not allowed to marry yet. He missed his adopted sister Leela Levine. It all began when he was walking to preschool on his first day. When he saw a box with a baby inside it, he thought the baby didn’t have such a bad idea and jumped in the box with her. Then a limo pulled up at the sidewalk and a chauffeur stepped out. He picked up the box and put it in the backseat. There sat Adam Levine.
“Hi, Leela, do not ever run away like that again.”
“Sorry, Daddy, but the chauffeur made me do that.”
“I did not.”
“Never mind,” said Adam. “Who is your friend?”
“Blinky! His name is Blinky,” Leela said.
From then on, Blinky had been at Leela’s side, when they destroyed the grand canyon, and when she kidnapped Blake Shelton, and that one time when they were lawyers defending a client and accidentally revealed that they killed Katy Perry. That time, the judge revealed that he was a murderer and the jury were his helpers. It was the first time that everyone in court was sent to jail. They were in jail for 2 months. The point is that he was at Leela’s side all the time, so where was she?
“Barney, you are under arrest,” yelled Frederick angrily.
“Never!” Barney yelled.
Just seconds later, Frederick and Tommy had flown into the cave and tried to arrest Barney for murdering detective Frank.
“Feel the pain!” yelled Frederick, as he shot fire at Barney. Just in time Leela jumped right in front of the fire, but the fire hit her and she died. The Pug banshee’s eyes filled with tears.
Petruska crawled up to the Pug banshee and said, “You need a hug,” and hugged him. Blinky and Tommy’s sister, Ms. Mati, ran into the cave.
“Where is Tommy?” asked Ms. Mati.
“Where is Leela?” asked Blinky.
“Tommy?” said Ms. Mati.
“No!!!” said Blinky.
Leela was dead and it was all Frederick’s fault.
One hour later:
The world was in mass destruction. All of them were fighting like crazy. Then Leela came out of nowhere except this time she was a ghost.
“What are you guys doing? You should be destroying Blake’s house,” the ghost of Leela said.
Everyone agreed that was a good idea. They destroyed Blake’s house, then went out for ice cream and vowed never to ALMOST destroy the world again.*
*The Pug banshee lived happily ever after.