The Kid Who Tried To Get A Concussion

by Langdon Ottman, age 9
The Kid Who Tried To Get A Concussion Langdon likes to play video games and he likes to write about tanks. He likes sports and playing with nerf guns.

“Fernando wasn’t happy with himself so he tried to get a concussion.”

Once there was a little boy named Fernando.

Fernando wasn’t happy with himself so he tried to get a concussion.

He wasn’t happy because he was the biggest nerd in school

because he was the only one who could calculate how many seconds he was living, and he was the only one who could calculate

how to sustain life on Mars.

Then he tried to get a concussion so he could forget about everything he knew so he wouldn’t be the nerd anymore.

First he tried hitting himself in the head with a spoon.

Then he tried banging his head on the wall.

He bruised his forehead but didn’t go into a coma.

Then he tried to run and jump and swing his head onto his bed corner–still didn’t work. His brain had six packs, it was so strong. So it wouldn’t break.

Finally, as a last resort, he stuck an egg beater into his ear canal and scrambled his brain.

That only made him smarter. Now he knew how to sustain life on the sun.

He could also prove and/or disprove the existence of God.

And then he tried to cut his head in half but the head extended a hand and it chopped off his own.

He never even got the chance to tell the world the truth about God.

The end.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.