“Hello, my name is John Scott. Today we will be filming and studying one of Australia’s most famous animals, the kangaroos, with world famous nature and animal researcher, Noah Norris.”
Hello, my name is John Scott. Today we will be filming and studying one of Australia’s most famous animals, the kangaroos, with world famous nature and animal researcher, Noah Norris.
We will also have an interview with Noah Norris in a segment we call, “Talking with the Nature’s Wildest.” But back to the search.
We’re traveling in a car… It’s extremely hot! As we pass some mildly wild koalas, we turn to Noah for information:
“Noah, what can you tell us about these koalas?”
“Well, John, these male koalas are all fighting on the ground to impress the female koala in the tree so one of them can be her mate.”
“Well, Noah, one seems to be ripping apart the two others. Do you think that he is going to win? You must see this all the time.”
“Yes, all the time. One thing for sure, John, is that only the most fit and the most cruel rule the animal kingdom.”
We travel to a waterhole to await the kangaroos…
“Near this waterhole is where we’re going to rest. Keep your eyes peeled for any magnificent kangaroos.”
Two kangaroos approach and scout for any predators. It is nighttime.
“John, John, JOHN!”
“What, what, wuuh?”
John awakens from sleep.
“Observe as two scouts from a troop of kangaroos scout the area for any sneaky predators that might jump or scare them while drinking water.”
“CRIKEY,” says one of the camera crew.
“Quiet down! You might scare one of the scouts.”
One of the scouts perk up its ears but doesn’t locate the crew. They go away.
The next day, the troop of kangaroos approach, but it does not look like they are okay. They are bruised and bloody.
“Noah, why are the kangaroos so hurt?”
“I don’t know, John. This is rare and different. Maybe a predator attack.”
“Noah, on those kangaroos, there are bruises and blood. It does not look like they got bit or scratched or shot by humans or predators.”
“This is so weird. Never in all of my years of study have I seen a troop of kangaroos that were hurt. Not with scratches, shots, or bites.”
The kangaroos hear a rustle in the bushes and scream out, “Get out of those bushes, mate! Our scouts have seen you. No need to hide any more.”
The crew comes out of the bushes and show themselves. Noah comes up to the kangaroo who called them and says, “WHAT? I didn’t know that kangaroos could talk!”
“Well, mate, the whole animal kingdom can talk depending on which country and which accent. We just don’t talk because we’re afraid of humans like you hunting us down to sell us to a circus and get paid some money. I heard that it can be very unpleasant. OH, and my name is Nick.”
“Why do you have bruises and blood?”
“I’ll tell you a story: Once upon a time, we kangaroos were all united to protect each other from you guys, but something terrible happened. One day, the northern kangaroos acquired a lollipop. They made it sacred, and protected it 24/7, but one day, it just simply disappeared!
The northern side declared war on the eastern, western, and southern sides. The northern side has already smashed and crushed the east and west. We have just lost a battle. I fear the worst if we lose this war. Humanity can come to an end!!!”
“I feel your pain. In World War II, a man called Hitler destroyed our forces, but with hope and help, we smashed him and won!”
“This Hitler character may not be as cruel as the leader, Bob!”
Weird and intense music and sound effects start to play.
“He is the one that started the massacre. The evil animal was ignored and hated by his parents. He learned to be tough. He said he looked up to Hitler. Now that you mention him, I heard Hitler was evil, so now I know why he is so cruel.”
“We have to stop him, and with your human technology, we can destroy Bob!”
They ride off to the east, where it is more comfortable and where the Bob is going to live. It is night, and it is nippy. They are at a valley.
“Got the eggs, TP, paintball guns, feathers, flour, goo and fake chickens, Noah.”
“Just say yes.”
“Okay, you got your kangaroos ready to fight, Nick?”
At night, our heroes spot Bob and his crew going to their new home.
Nick screams, “ATTACK!”
Kangaroos fight each other. Paintballs hit kangaroos. Fake chickens, TP, and eggs are being thrown.
“No, not pranks. Why can’t you play fairly?” Bob said. “All this over a sacred lollipop relic!!!”
Blood is on the ground…
“Nick, we can do this.”
He jumps on the battlefield with a sword.
“NO, NOAH. DON’T!!!”
Noah gets into a fight with a kangaroo while John, on a helicopter, films it all. Then Bob pushes away the other kangaroo and defeats/kills Noah. Nick sees Noah fall and starts to cry and scream, “NOOO, NOAH. WHYYYY!!!”
Nick, with all his power, smashes Bob’s face into a cactus. Bob does not move, and the northern kangaroos surrender and apologize for their behavior and give the east and west their lands back. All the kangaroos meet up and give the most memorable funeral with Nick, John, the crew, all the kangaroos, and people from all around the world. As a little boat with Noah on it sails away, they shoot a fiery arrow onto the boat.
Nick bursts in tears and whispers, “It didn’t have to end like this.”
P.S. Nick makes a united kangaroo democracy and becomes a fair leader all in name of Noah.