“He imagined being in tall, tall grass. Taller than him. He could eat all he wanted and poke his head out and act like a cool cow.”
One day, a cow named Grass was eating grass. He liked grass because of his name.
Mmmmmmmmmmm. He said, “Grass is good.”
Then he sang his song. It was: grass grass grass grass grass-grass-grass grass-grass-grass grass grass grass grass grassy grassy grass grass. He liked his song. But one day, Grass woke up. There was no grass!!! Grass looked around. The cows ate the grass! It was like a cow-pocolips! Oh no! Grass was the only thing cows ate!
Suddenly, all the cows said, “Moooooooooooo!”
Then the farmer walked out the door and heard… “Moooooooooooo!”
All the cows stopped because he said, “Shh, I’m trying to have tea!”
Then, right when he was walking in the door… he stopped!
Grass was hoping the farmer would notice the grass, but instead he just said, “Oh, I forgot to say bye.”
Grass was disappointed because he wanted more grass.
He ran towards the farmer and said, “Wait,” but all the farmer heard was moo.
The farmer went into the barn and closed the door. Grass walked up to the door and picked up his hoof and opened the door.
He went in and said, “Um, farmer, I think that we need more grass.”
The farmer actually understood. Grass was surprised. Well, at least Grass thought he understood because the farmer was going out with planting seeds. Grass thought it was grass seeds. But, instead, he saw the labels on the packages, and it was sunflower seeds and corn!! Grass was allergic to corn. How dare that farmer!!!
Grass said, “Farmer! I will get revenge.”
So he walked back, away from the farmer. Grass was not very happy. So he fell asleep.
Grass dreamed about having so much fun in the grass. For a second, when he woke up, he thought it was real, but it was all a dream. He looked around him, and as if things could not get any worse… he was surrounded by corn!
He yelled out his cousin’s name, “Banana!”
And Banana loved corn so much. So Banana came over and noticed Grass surrounded by corn. He ate all the corn. Grass was finally free! Grass went along, trying to pretend that he was in the grass, but it didn’t really work out. He wanted his precious grass back. He imagined being in tall, tall grass. Taller than him. He could eat all he wanted and poke his head out and act like a cool cow. He really wished that dream wasn’t real. And he was glad that the corn did not grow as high as an elephant’s eye. And he thought when the farmer came back, he should say, How dare you not give me that grass. I need that grass. Now I am starving and so thin. That could be his revenge.
Today was not a moo-tastic day for grass. He sang his song sadly. He was too sad to sing it. He was super sad. So instead he sang this: Moo.
Grass was very sad, so he went to Banana, hopped on Banana’s back, and said, “Giddy up, horsey!”
Grass was talking in his sleep.
Banana suddenly woke up and said, “I’m not your horse, Grass.”
Grass woke up and said, “Why am I on you? Oh, are you my horsey? I’m sorry, Banana! I’m just very sad about the grass.”
Banana said, “Well, just keep your hooves off me! Anyway, I have an idea. How about you just go sneak into the dude’s office and just steal those grass seeds and say, ‘um thank you. I stole your grass seeds.’ It’ll just come out as a moo, so you’re good. So yeah, just sneak in there tonight and say, ‘I stole your grass, so bye now!’”
“Okay…” said Grass, “But am I not too big? I think I’m a little too big.”
“So what? Just steal those away. But just think of how you would hold them—okay, Banana? Well anyway, I need to go to sleep even though it’s midday.”
When Grass woke up, he wanted more grass. But then he saw Banana was standing right in front of him with a little teensy pack.
“Could it be? Is it Grass?” Grass whispered.
Then Grass spotted a quokka.
“Hi,” he said. “I’m Phredd (fr-ehd).”
Grass was was like, “Say what? How do you spell your name?”
“Seriously?” Grass said.
“Yeah. My name is Phredd, and it’s spelled like that. And I am a party animal. I’ve high-fived a camera before and just said hi to this person who was facing this camera thingy-majiggy at me. So yeah,” said Phredd.
“Um, well, we kind of have a problem with this grass,” said Grass. “So could you help us? Just distract the farmer with your party thingy-majiggies while I go sneak in, get the grass seeds, and grow some grass for me to eat. So could you just sneak in there and sing your song thingy-majiggy-thingies?”
“Okie dokie,” said Phredd.
So the next morning, they snuck in there. Grass asked Phredd to go in first and wake up the farmer and say, “Howdy dowdy, how are ya, dude?”
“So then I can just sneak in there, get my grass, and sing my song once again!”
“So let’s go!” said Phredd.
“La la, loo loo,” they sang as they went to the farm.
“This is very fun. Now it’s time to sneak in,” said Grass. “So you go in first.”
“Okay, I’ll throw my party and have so much fun and high-five cameras and say hello to farmers.”
“La, la, la,” Phredd sang.
Grass could hear Phredd and the farmer screaming, saying, “Ah! What is this?”
He could also hear Phredd putting on a party. Grass knew now that he could go in and do it. So he did and he went in and thought, Where would the grass seeds be? This was very frustrating for him. But finally, he found them. He planted the seeds when he got out and got Phredd. He told Phredd to come back sometime soon. And a few weeks later, the grass grew. But now he needed to deal with the cow-pocolips.
He said, “You will leave. Now leave.”
And now there were only a few more cows: him, his cousins, and a few others. And he met another cow. He figured out that cow was his sister. She had a big bow and was black and white. And we will talk about that in the next story.