“Once upon a time, there was a little chick that was super cute and so adorbs. His name was Billy Bob Joe (BBJ for short). As he grew older, he grew really cool. But he also (I’m trying to put this as nicely as possible) wasn’t so cute any more. This was because he saw some weird happenings in the other coops.”
Book One: Weird Happenings and Weird People
Once upon a time, there was a little chick that was super cute and so adorbs. His name was Billy Bob Joe (BBJ for short). As he grew older, he grew really cool. But he also (I’m trying to put this as nicely as possible) wasn’t so cute any more. This was because he saw some weird happenings in the other coops. These happenngs had turned BBJ into a creepy skeptic. He had three suspects of the happenings: mice with rabies, other chickens, and aliens. He really wanted to know what it was. So he decided to find out.
But, he thought, how do I get out of this cage I’m in?
Suddenly, it came to him that he was able to transform into anything. He never knew why! Then, he fell asleep.
Once he awoke, he transformed into a tiny fly, flew out of his cage, and transformed back to a chicken. When he looked into the other cages, all the chickens were gone! Then, he decided to go outside to look for them. When he stepped outside, he looked around and saw all the chickens. There were also a bunch of houses down a street. He noticed, though, that they weren’t in the usual, grassy area around the hen house. They were on a planet very far away from Earth! He started to panic because he thought the aliens were going to kill them all for food like the farmer did back on Earth! And he was right. The aliens went running after the chickens with what looked like the average butchering axe, just with electricity running through the metal part. After one of the aliens got a helpless chick called Albert, he screamed “Zoloop!!!” This kept on going until BBJ was the only chicken left there. All the aliens went straight after him. BBJ jumped, spun, and ran.
As BBJ ran further and further from the hen house, he also ran deeper and deeper into the alien village. He heard the aliens call out words like “Goodlac” and “Gozork,” which probably meant “Get him” or “Come on, join the run.” BBJ didn’t stop until he reached a long alleyway, which was blocked off except a small hole that BBJ could just barely slip through, even when he turned himself into a ladybug!
Once BBJ turned back into a chicken, he turned right back into a ladybug because an alien in a golden robe had nearly grabbed BBJ! He had many men around him and BBJ thought, This alien is a very important alien. He also thought that this alien was a very good chickener, like how a cat can be a very good mouser.
Once BBJ got into the castle, where he thought the alien emperor lived, he turned into a pillar and rolled to the top of the castle. He did this because he thought that it wouldn’t have been weird on an alien planet.
Once BBJ got up the stairs (which took a long time due to the unusual shape of the pillar), he ended up in a hallway with many doors that were encased in gold. He did see a door at the end of the hallway, which looked like it was made out of pure diamond. The door was enchanted to have a moving painting of people decapitating chickens! But then, under that, there was a sign that said in big italics: Viewer discrimination advised. And boy, was that sign correct.
After BBJ turned into an alien and opened the door, he saw a very weird sight. The person who was sitting in the throne at the front of the room was not an alien at all!
To be continued…