In the magical world, the weather was the same no matter where you went. But instead of it raining because water evaporates, people in the sky shot water pistols from the sky.
Amber was watching TV in her cell while thinking about plans to escape from prison. She was sure that Steve could not read her mind, so she went on her evil paper and wrote “first things first 111”—that was a secret message that she and her partner could use to write messages on paper.
Because she was little, she could just squeeze between the bars and into freedom. But she did that once, and she got caught. Now, she was in the biggest securest prison, and everything was covered with bedrock which was an unbreakable type of metal. But she knew that there was a solution to everything.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the world, Steve the elephant was on duty in a different prison. He got a call, but since there was no internet there, he went quickly to the main office where no prisoners were allowed. This was because there was a strong internet connection, and if a prisoner was there, then their best friend might help the prisoner escape by just making a few phone calls and text messages. Anyway, he needed to go to the prison that Amber was in because he was a very good guard.
In the prison that Amber was in, she had to eat bananas for dinner. Since she did not like bananas, she just burned them and put them in the snow, watching the steam come out of the snow. It was so satisfying that Amber did that to a bunch of different bananas, and she almost got caught three or four times.
Then, Amber got the greatest idea in the world! She could just escape and get caught, and she then knew what to do next. She just randomly went out and got caught on purpose.
When she was in the waiting room in her trials, she noticed a vent and a lady. Amber climbed onto the vent and dropped a ladder to rescue the lady. She helped the lady and told her the plan. They climbed through the vent and hid behind the boxes. They had four choices: distract, invisible cloak, plead, surprise attack.
She chose distract. Later, she knew that that option did not work because after, like, thirty seconds she saw that everyone was dancing around like maniacs.
She time traveled back with the lady, and she had a new plan. She would ask the lady for help. She would jump out the window with her and hop on the motorcycle. The lady agreed. So Amber II jumped out of the window, but the real Amber missed the motorcycle, and the guards began chasing her.
But then, Amber II smooshed all of the guards, and the real Amber got on the motorcycle, and they escaped to freedom! So they took out their prison coats—which were really hot to be in—and they finally jumped out of their jeep, driving out of town to safety. It had been a long time since both of them had breathed such fresh air.
Amber asked the lady, “Can we be allies?”
“Ok! That is a good idea.”
Amber II said, “We better get out of here because… I think I see Steve the elephant, who is a very good guard, and… I think he is also right above us.”
They were running for their lives, but that was no use because they were sucked into Steve’s elephant trunk. Steve said, “Explain yourselves.”
“We escaped from prison,” said Amber.
“And why and how in the world did you find us here?” asked Amber II.
Then, Steve the elephant launched into the biggest explanation of his life.
“So… I was in the middle of my own business, doing my prison guard duty, and I got a call! Since there was no internet where I was currently, I went to the main office, and the call said that I had to move to the prison that you were currently in, just because I was a good prison guard. And since it was on the other side of the world, I got on a plane. There, I saw your familiar faces, and then I realized I was you too.”
“But anyway,” said Amber, “Who even is Amber?”
“Do you not realize that you are Amber?”
“Anyway, who is that lady then?”
“That is Amber,” said Amber.
Steve closed his eyes for a long time, and they said together in their brains, This is our chance. Our chance to teleport.
They appeared one millisecond after Steve opened his eyes again.
Hey where did they go? he thought. Well then, I better get back on the train!!! I mean, the airplane.
So Steve went to the airplane and slept…
THE END
Ms. Small is Big
I do not understand everything about the English language.
My name is Mr. Cup, and the English language is weird. Isn’t it supposed to be where feet run and noses smell, instead of noses run and feet smell? Why is it called a hot dog, but you do not even have a dog? Why is it called a pineapple, but there is no pine? Actually, there is no apple either. The English language is weird. I think that I am going to complain to the president about it later.
Anyway, at school, it was time for our first day of a class that is kind of like gym, but it is dumber because you do not get to play cool games like dodgeball, basketball, and other stuff. Instead, you have to do stuff like balancing feathers in one hand and trying to throw a pillow the farthest. Those games are a lot less fun. I think that I should go to the president and complain about it.
After school, I went to my mom and asked her if I could have paper and a pencil so I could complain to the president. I wrote this:
Dear Mr. President,
I would like to complain about the English language. Why is it that feet smell and noses run? Isn’t it supposed to be the other way around, where feet run and noses smell? That is only when you attach a nose to your feet and attach feet to your nose. Also there is no pine or apple in pineapple/
Sincerely,
Mr. Cup
When I got to school, there was a different teacher. She was big. Her head just about touched the basketball hoop and the ends of the gym. She was cool. We got to play dodgeball and other cool stuff, and then finally, when I got home I got the letter back. It just said that he changed the alphabet now everyone has to go back to Pre-K and stuff.
THE END
Mr. Potato
It was another fine day in the book production store. Everything was good today. Yesterday was the hardest day that the book company had ever had because they had the hardest decision to make: to hire a bad worker or wait six months and hire the best worker in the world. After eight hours of hard decision thinking, they said, “Six months is not that much. We will be able to handle it…”
Things kept moving well until…
Six months, 2 hours, 9 minutes, and 1 second later:
Woo hoo! They got the best worker in the world!!! Nothing could go wrong right?
But when they saw his work accuracy, they were disappointed. Everyone was sad. His speed was high, but he did most of the work wrong. They finally had to fire him because his accuracy was sooo low.
But before they fired him, they made a complaint to the person who measured everything in the world record book. They wrote:
Hello, this is the book company here. We would like to complain because it is NOT the best worker. His speed may be the fastest but his accuracy is the lowest. YOU ARE WRONG.
Sincerely,
The book company
They waited until they got an answer. The answer was so simple. It just said:
NOOO, that is wrong! We will come and check and see if you are right or we are right. Also, let’s have a bet about that. How about twenty million dollars?
They accepted it. In a few weeks, the person from the Guinness Book of World Records who measures the stuff was going to come all the way from planet Zog. He decided it was wrong, so the company got 20 million dollars. They decided to hire the worst person named Mr. Potato. He was actually a very good worker, but nobody noticed that he was an evil scientist trying to take over the world. He wanted the money to buy a secret evil lair, but since there were no secret lairs in the Milky Way galaxy, he had to go to a galaxy called the Evil Way.
Exactly twenty million days in the future:
He did not come to the company ever again, he was not found in the Evil Way galaxy, and finally, he was wanted for 99999999 trillion dollars.
Mr. Potato’s EVIL PLAN CHART:
| 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 |
| Pose as a bad worker and then make the best worker a bad worker. | Make them have a bet and then make the company win. | Get hired in the company and stuff like normal. | Be the best worker that the company EVER EVER EVER had. | After having enough money to buy a secret lair, never be found again. |
THE END
Most YouTube Fan
I had never been more frustrated than this. The only thing I wanted was YouTube. I had games, but I played them for sooo long that I played every game and maxed everything out.
I got a call from my creator, Zach. The first thing he said was, “You have not found a way to access YouTube, have you?”
“No,” I said back. “I have not.”
Then he said slowly, “Good. But I will have to check.”
So then I said, “Can you install YouTube for me?”
“No,” said Zach.
Then I said, “PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?”
He said, “I said NO!”
“But I will only use it once a year.”
“Nope.”
Then I said please, like, a million hundred times and he said, “Yes.”
Woo hoo! I finally had YouTube. I watched memes of cats playing the piano. But I think I watched too many of those because then I got another call from Zach.
He said, “I see you have not been using YouTube correctly, so I just recently took it away.”
NOOO! I could not live without YouTube. Netflix and all of the other sites are no fun anymore. I wanted YouTube. YouTube. YouTube. YouTube!!!
Now I knew that he would never ever forgive me, so there was only one way to get this right. I had to go to the secret cave of Zachs, and then I could hack into his thing and get YouTube back again!
I got there and pressed the enter key on his thing. First, there were a lot of weird, antique people. I walked happily with my eyes closed, and then I saw glass! I smashed right into it. I backed up and read the glass. It said: solve these riddles and then put them on the box, then I will see if it was correct. The riddle was this:
You measure my life in hours, and I serve you by expiring. I’m quick when I’m thin and slow when I’m fat. The wind is my enemy. What am I?
Hmm… I thought. Maybe it could be—? No, not that. I reread the question: You measure my life in hours, and I serve you by expiring. What Am I?
Then I thought of it: a candle!!! I put it on the box and then it said: correct > you may enter. YAY!
I went to the next course and I saw a sign that said: break the bricks or if not go back. Only these three tools were options: C4, a jackhammer, and a spade. I chose the C4 and went on. I thought, whoa, I can’t believe that I am still not done!!!
But there was only one more obstacle. It said: which coin will drop faster—one that is at 1000000 degrees Fahrenheit or -3964873 degrees Fahrenheit? That was an easy one—the one that is hotter. It would freeze if it was that cold.
But then I saw my master, and I got kicked out of his server.
THE END
The Mysterious Fish
I, the most experienced scuba diver in the world, decline the statement that there are a lot of fish that we do not know about. I already know all of the fish.
For example, the share fish. It has a lock button on it if it does not have any fish friends. But when it has some, the lock is opened. It also has a lot of share buttons on its body. That fish is my personal favorite.
Anyway, I have to get proof that I have discovered all of the fish in the whole computer galaxy. I will tell you some of my favorite stuff and some stuff I really hate!
First, I will tell you some of my favorite foods and my favorite drinks. Then I will tell you some of my least favorite drinks and foods. It is going to be extreme and very funny 100 percent guaranteed, so let’s start!!!
I love zombie fish. People call them the “mysterious fish” because they have mysterious marks on their tails. These marks are different from the ones on their body because they have star-shaped markings. On their heads, they have heart-shaped markings.
For my favorite drink, I like red ice cubes mixed with different brands of head sheets. The ice cubes sheets make a salty and fizzy drink, while the head sheets have a sweet, eraser taste. So if you combine it all together you get a salty, fizzy, eraser, sweet taste! Yum!
I want to skip the part that I don’t like because describing it will make you throw up, 100% correct. I tried telling it to the person with the world record of not throwing up, and he threw up right away.
So here is the story of my scuba diving adventure:
I was currently underwater when I saw a great white shark. I thought, oh no! I did not already discover that animal. So I thought, well, I just now discovered the animal, so nah nah nah boo boo to the person that did not believe me. That happened tons more times, so then I went out and finished my journey.
That is all of my story so far because I am underwater and there are a lot more creatures to be found!!!
THE END
The Evil Christmas Villain
Mr. Lamp was the most evil villain in the town. Nobody was more cunning than him. Santa Claus was not going to give him any presents because he was bad over the year.
Mr. Lamp went into his secret layer and started the engine, heading to Blueberry City. He thought he should start with house number one and go all the way to house number ten million, three hundred and sixty-five thousand, six hundred and sixty-six.
He quickly went to house one and saw a weird figure on the chimney. He thought it was nothing but an action figure, but it was actually Santa. He quickly went into the house and saw nothing but Santa in the room. He froze and Santa said, “Why are you in the house of Blueberry number one?”
Mr. Lamp said, “I only did this because this is my cousin’s house. I’m visiting for the holidays.” He was lying.
Santa said, “This isn’t your cousin’s house! Nobody lives here because this is my house! Now, shoo.”
Mr. Lamp went into his lair, and on his computer, he searched if Santa had more than one house. It said yes, Santa had more than one house. He had a house in every city. Mr. Lamp gulped. How could he get past Santa if he kept running into his houses? He might get tortured to death. He thought for a few hours and said to himself, “Maybe I could use my time gadget to freeze time so I can peek inside the house.”
He decided to go to house number two. He pressed his time gadget and saw that nobody was there. It was an old abandoned mansion. Then, he saw an evil clown staring at him like crazy. He thought I’m going to go to Blueberry for the last time.
He flew out the door with his eyes closed carelessly. Finally, when he decided to stop, he saw new houses but then he realized it was the forest he was creeped out by. It was the Hoia-Baciu Forest in Romania. He was scared of the forest because, according to the army tech person, in 1968 they recorded a UFO hovering over the forest. This was a true fact.
Then, he flew over to a city he knew a lot about. But he had not come here in a long time, so he did not know if there were new inventions that he missed because you can only view the news if you are in the city. It looked different from what it looked like before. Instead of Christmas trees, there were floating boats, but they did not have any ordinary ornaments. They had real diamonds, gold, emeralds, and rubies. Man, thought Mr. Lamp, this does not look like before!
But when he got to his secret lair to get his Christmas-present-sucker, he saw the sign. It didn’t say New York City, it said… Mayhem City. That was very weird. He didn’t know any kind of city named Mayhem City. And from there he discovered the Cursed Universe.
THE END
The Stinger Jellyfish
Mr. Jellyfish was going to go to the other part of the ocean because he wanted to sting humans really badly. But when he moved an inch, he saw his friend Lemon, whose face was all puffed up and excited. Lemon said, “Are you excited for the playdate tomorrow?”
Wait, what? Mr. Jellyfish thought that the playdate was in a few days. Then he realized that he had to get his JF (jellyfish) school homework done. If he did not do it today, then his teacher would make him do nine times the work that he had to do. For his assignment, he wrote this poem:
Roses are red
Sun is yellow
Pens are inky
But garbage is stinky
He thought that his teacher would like it, but instead when he went to school the next day the teacher made him do it all over again because she thought that it was too stinky and garbage-ish. So, when he got home he wrote this:
Cups and books and cheese and ash
Now you know I’m talking trash
This might make you gag
But I like to smell the garbage bag.
This might not be a pity
But I like to pick up trash from the city
How about Monday as garbage day
Tuesday and Wednesday to
How about Thursday and Friday
And lastly Saturday and Sunday
What will we do without garbage day
But I like to pick trash from the bay
There! He had worked for two hours without making any mistakes. The next day, he figured out that he did not sleep the previous night. He passed his homework to his teacher and then slumped back to his chair. The day was finally over, and the school year ended tomorrow. He had to get a good night’s sleep, and he did.
The next day, school ended. He watched movies all day long, and then he came up with a plan of everything he needed to do. First, Mr. Jellyfish packed all of the stuff he needed, and then off him and his parents went.
The first obstacle he ran into was a wall. But that was no problem because the jellyfish could just sting the wall, and then it would go away. He walked a few more miles until he spotted a jelly-toxic tree. But he was equipped with a jelly flying suit so it was easy to jump over it. He walked a few steps, humming with his eyes closed, so then he bumped into a big cow. He got annoyed and said, “HEY COW, GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!” But the cow did not seem to understand English, so then Mr. Jellyfish said, “MOO MOO MOO MOO MOO” and the cow backed away. He thought that was easier than I expected. I just said some cow words and then he went away!
Then he fainted. His mom said, “Why did you faint?”
He said, “You remember when I said those moo words, right? I might be able to understand Mootongue which is really rare, you know.”
Then he saw a giant spider. That was one of his greatest fears. But he thought, it just looked like I thought it invited me to a duel.
Three against one. Both of his parents stung the giant spider but that was quite not enough. So then he stung the spider, and they defeated the spider.
He finally went to the local beach. He stung the nearest human. It felt great! And then he woke up and realized that was just all a dream, a BIG dream.
THE END
The Weird, Evil Clown
We were on the train going to the circus, when the train person said, “Ten hour delay.” What?! Is he joking? Ten hours! I did not like the sound of that. The parade at the circus started in only thirty minutes.
I have been going to the same circus for like thirteen years. Maybe something went wrong because thirteen is the unluckiest number in our family.
Maybe instead of going to the circus, we could visit Hoia-Baciu Forest, Romania or something. If that was real, then I would definitely go there. It was really cool. There were aliens there, and according to the military tech person, in 1968 there was a picture of a UFO hovering over the forest.
We got to the next stop. My mom made furious calls to the train person while my dad beat up a robber in a prison where he works.
I blinked once, and then I saw an evil-looking clown staring at me. I flinched, and then he was gone. I was now sweating like crazy. I thought, is the galaxy cursed?
I thought that the water machine galaxy was the safest place in the world. Those thoughts were freaking me out. Then I realized that a train was going to fall right on our heads. I said to my mom, “HEY LOOK HERE! A TRAIN IS ABOUT TO FALL ON OUR HEADS!!!”
But she was not listening because she was screaming into her phone. She kinda looked like she was going to blow up!!! Right before the train fell on our heads, she said, “We are going to your dad’s prison.”
I closed my eyes and covered my ears. But it did not come. The crash of the train did not come. I finally opened my eyes, and I looked at the train. It was floating. Something creepy was going on.
My mom was acting normally. Mad, fearsome, and creepy. She was really heavy. I guess she was trying to be a heavyweight, but she already was one. She had to be 5940 sugg in waterpark units, which is 986 Pounds in American units or something.
I had to do something. When we got home I told her my plan.
“Let’s go to the GFFF CASTLE universe. This place is way too freaky.”
And you will never ever believe what we saw when we got to the GFFF CASTLE…
THE END
The Cursed Air Conditioner
Piper was more bored than ever. She asked her brother Griff, “Can you tell me a joke? I am more bored than ever!”
“No,” said Griff, “I am as bored as you.”
“Do you know what is causing this boredness to happen?” said Piper.
Then Griff thought so hard that his brain hurt. He finally said, “Maybe if we get some fresh air, that might help us.”
“Ok,” Piper said back.
So they asked their moms if they could go outside for some fresh air. Their moms glared back suspiciously at them until they finally said, “Yes, ok.”
The children went outside and smelled the fresh air. It felt great. This was as good as what Piper wanted: flying abilities.
Meanwhile, back in the house, their moms were talking about the weather.
“Do you think it is going to rain today?” asked Griff’s mom.
“No,” said their friend Granite’s mom. “I checked the weather forecast, and it said that it would be nice and clean.”
So then they decided to have a surprise playdate. The air conditioner was not happy at that time—it wanted to bore out someone, but it was not strong enough to bore out grownups with its magical powers.
Finally, after three hours Piper and Griff came back into the house, but the moment they went into the house they got bored, which made the air conditioner happy. He thought I think that the kids are back.
But when they got out of the room to eat dinner, the air conditioner got mad again. After dinner, they went to their bunk beds and were disgusted. What surprised them was when they noticed that it was the air conditioner. So they quickly got rid of the air conditioner. You will never believe in a million hundred years how their moms reacted when they figured out that the air conditioner was gone…
Fish Are Smart
The shark struck again. He tried many times to eat the fish, but he couldn’t. He thought I wish that there was a way to trick those little fools. So he got a trap and waited for what felt like one hundred million hours. But then the little fish said, “Oh! This is just another little dumb fish trap,” and the fish swam right past it. The shark was so furious that he thought that he was going to blow up. He then thought that if he could work with his other shark friends, they could create an invisible trap for the fishies.
But meanwhile, on the other end of town, all of the fishies were warned NOT to swim too much underwater and just eat homemade food, because if they don’t then it might be a trap and they will end up as the sharks’ next meal.
The sharks were about to finish their invention, but then a giant, angry-looking computer came up to him and said, “That will not be enough to fool the fishies. That is all I have to say.”
So then after the computer left, the sharks thought, that is a prank. We won’t listen to him. But when they completed their trap, none of the fishies came. They didn’t even come near the trap.
Then one of the shark’s friends said, “Why can’t we just sneak attack them?”
“Great idea,” said his other friend, Billy.
So they hid behind what they thought was a rock, but it was actually a rock that attacks back with the same amount of pressure that it receives. Since all of them were hiding on the rock, the mayor in the fish town said, “SHUTDOWN, LOCKDOWN!!! Close all of the fish shops immediately! If you are at school, shut down the school! Anywhere you are, just lockdown the thing!!! If you are brave enough, then you can fight in the war. These are the required things: #1. You must have a full army experience and kill at least 99999 people. #2. Get all of your army stuff and go, go, go, fight in the war!!!”
But they were already attacked and stuff. They did not need their weapons—they would already lose the war. But they still fought.
TO BE CONTINUED…