Tales of the Burrow

Leo Chung, age 10
Tales of the Burrow Leo is ten years old and he lives in Washington D.C. He loves cats.

“The burrow is a city on a planet that floats just at the boundaries of a black hole.
It is sometimes on the ground and sometimes in the sky*1.
It can fly and has lots of entrances.
One entrance is the gate.
Most people enter the burrow from the gate.”

Part 1: A Brief Introduction to the Burrow

Excerpt from The Traveler’s Book of the Burrow with notes from N. Leo:

What exactly is the burrow?

The burrow is a city on a planet that floats just at the boundaries of a black hole.

It is sometimes on the ground and sometimes in the sky*1.

It can fly and has lots of entrances.

One entrance is the gate.

Most people enter the burrow from the gate.

The gate is a tall arch with lasers that can be sealed like a fence.

On top of the arch are the guard posts that house superheroes*2.

It is a part of a laser wall which encircles the burrow.

Inside people that want to go inside are signed up and inspected to make sure that they are peaceful.

Everyone who is peaceful is allowed in the burrow*3.

The second kind of entrance is multiple ports which only some people may fly into.

There are holes in the laser wall like doors that let ships in when the burrow is airborne and cars when it is not.

They often connect to people’s houses.

Inside the burrow has four sections.

The living section, which is composed of flat laser streets in which people drive in anti-gravity speeders, and houses which are sometimes connected to ports below them.

The trading section is where all people socialize and all the businesses and schools are there.

The burrows gates lead directly there.

The criminal section, otherwise known as the vault, where all the captured supervillains live in laser houses and are served casha for every meal.

And the burrow section, which is dominated by the burrow, is a vast building with 2948 floors, 50*4 of which are known commonly.

20 floors are contributed to guests, or superheroes.

Level 3 and above burrow citizens all have private quarters here.

That is the burrow*5.

Who are notable characters of the burrow? 

Doctor Bunny:

Doctor Bunny is a cunning mad scientist who is one of the four mad scientists of the burrow.

He is the general of the bunny army and has led three bunny crusades.

He is a level 3 burrow citizen and lives at monkey street in the living section.

His house is connected to port 3-A5 A.K.A the Port of the Bunny.

Doctor Wolf:

Doctor Wolf”s personality can be described as radioactive.

He is another one of the four mad scientists of the burrow.

He is obsessed with everything radioactive and is the author of An Ode to Radiation by D. Wolf *6.

He is also the author of many other books including the Famous Guide to Mutants by D. Wolf*6.

He is a level 7 burrow citizen and lives on Beast Street in the living section.

Nice Leo:

Nice Leo is a substitute teacher at Sheep School Elementary.

He is another of the four mad scientists of the burrow.

He loves robots and has a special ability of resurrection.

He is the author of A Day in Sheep School by N. Leo.

He loves reading books and lives on necron street in the living section and is a level 3 citizen.

Rescue:

Rescue is the sole level 6 citizen of the burrow.

She lives in the burrow and leads the four departments.

She has wrote laws 30-40*7 in the burrow book of laws.

The Sheep;

Not much is known about the Sheep.

They were there when the founder of the burrow came and built the burrow.

They are as old as Nice Leo*8.

They live in the burrow.

Their citizen level is unknown.

What are the 7 levels of citizens?

In the burrow, all people who have ever signed up have a level pass.

This shows where they live, what responsibilities they have, and what their authority ID is.

It ranges from 1-7, 1 being the least authority, and 6 being the highest.

1: low level: guest

2: common level: citizen

3: advanced level: active citizen

4: very advanced level: member of the governing of the burrow

5: elite level: high-ranking member of the governing of the burrow

6: supreme level: leader of the burrow.

7: special level: potentially dangerous citizens

The known floors of the burrow (uncompleted)

1=lobby: a huge room with some couches and tables where people wait to be received.

A desk at which a superhero sits and receives people.

An elevator.

A gate (common entrance of the burrow).

2-5=meeting floor: contains 100 meeting rooms in which the inhabitants of the burrow meet.

Details of the rooms vary.

6-10=bunker floor: a large floor made of pure adamantium.

Contains food supplies, self defense weapons, and entertainment for up to a year for 50 people.

11-13=the bedrooms: all level 3 citizens and above have bedrooms here.

Sheep sleeps here.

Rooms serve as storage, temporary to permanent housing, (people’s houses get destroyed a lot).

And many other functions.

All rooms have elevators connected to them.

14=nature floor: a huge room with walls made of towering trees.

Contains a clean grassy area which is perfect for picnics, a rocky slope for rock climbing that has an overlook to a stream coming from the burrow drinking water channel that leads to a pond.

Burrow citizens can swim here with the ducks in clean water.

Level 5 citizens may choose to live in vast tree houses here*9.

Footnotes:

______________________________________________________________________________

1*: that only happened once.

It did not work out very well. (see: the airborne burrow)

2*: not very good ones in my opinion because the burrow gets destroyed 3 days a week.

3*: if necrons and orks are peaceful, everyone is.

4*: actually, at the start of the first bunny crusade, I had an adventure and discovered some more.

5*: some of it at least.

6*: they are good books.

7*: also law 41 which states that all living things in the universe are moose, which I helped make but that statement/law/religion got destroyed after the mooseian heresy.

8*: which he is not in my opinion.

Come on!

He is in 2nd grade!

In sheep school.

9*: when will I be a level 5 citizen!

When!!!

Part 2: When Moose Attack (Short Story)

Nice Leo was walking down the street when this story started. Sheep was walking beside him. Suddenly, Nice Leo saw a huge cinder block falling from the sky right on top of Sheep. Smash!!! Nice Leo gasped. He ran to the nearest superhero.

“Sheep just got crushed by a giant cinder block!”

“Oh my god, we need to tell everybody!” said the superhero. He started running around and telling everyone.

Nice Leo heard: “Moooooooo, mo, mooo!” 

The moose ambassador was standing over the sheep.

Oh no! thought Nice Leo. Sheep is their emperor! (See part 3: bonus information.) Soon, almost half the burrow was in Doctor Monkey’s hospital.

“I — I — I am afraid he has stopped breathing!”

Everyone gasped. Doctor Wolf spoke.

“Sheep has been eaten by zombies, zapped with laser guns, starved, and he never died!”

“How could he be dead now?”

“I am sorry, but he has stopped breathing!” said Doctor Monkey.

“That’s right, he is totally dead so there is no need at all to look at him any more,” Doctor Bunny said with his ears back. Everyone was too busy crying to hear him.

Nice Leo noticed two things.

One, that sheep teacher and no one from sheep school was here, and two, that if the moose admiral found out about this, he might think that the burrow had purposely assassinated the sheep.

Nice Leo’s fears were confirmed as he saw through the security cameras that seven moose marines and the moose admiral were coming into the burrow.

“Hello, what business do you have — boooooooooooooom!!!”

The welcoming superhero had asked that question and was incinerated in a flash of laser power as one of the moose marines shot his firearm at them.

“Meh, meneh, meneeeeeee!” said the moose admiral.

“The moose are attacking!!!!” Nice Leo screamed. Soon everyone was panicking, rushing to their homes or the bunker floor. Nice Leo caught a glimpse of a huge mooseonaght ravaging the burrow defense force. He had to help the burrow defense force! He took a laser cannon and power sword and went to battle against the moose. He ran into a clearing and saw a huge mooseonaght smashing a superhero against a house while three more fired at it, the repulsor beams simply pinging off it.

“Death to the moose!” Nice Leo screamed and shot his laser cannon. The laser cannon had sufficient power to slightly annoy the mooseonaght. It turned its head and Nice Leo threw his power sword at it. Now, it was really annoyed. Nice Leo ran for his life as the mooseonaght chased him. He ran straight into one of the moose marines. He took out his power sword and he and the moose marine engaged in a furious sword duel. Then he saw the lumbering mooseonought behind him and he ran away. Eventually he reached his home. Or what used to be his home. It had been reduced to flaming wreckage. And the sheep class, including Sheep, were standing in front of it.

“B — But you”re dead, Sheep,” said Nice Leo.

“Sheep not dead!” said Sheep.

Sheep teacher spoke. “Um… Nice Leo, we were going on a field trip.”

“But Sheep got crushed by a cinder block!” Nice Leo said.

“Oh yeah, that?” said Doctor Bunny, coming there. “That was my Sheepotron 2000.”  Everyone glared at Doctor Bunny. “What, is it my fault that the moose invaded?        

The end  

Part 3: The Best day Ever (short story)

Excerpt from The Complete Records of the Burrow by D. Wolf:

Doctor Wolf inspected his new mutant.

“Two little tentacles,” he decided, and pressed the “grow tentacles” button. It was weekends like this that he loved. He could just sit in his lab all day, writing books and creating new mutants, and on the best of days, releasing them in the living section. It was very entertaining to watch how they developed. But today was going to be the best day ever! He had finished developing his newest creation, the psy-alpha! He wrote in his diary.

Dear Diary,

Today is going to be the best day ever!

The tentacle and eyeball mutants are developing well and I just can”t wait to release the psy-alpha!

More tomorrow, D. Wolf.

Then he got up and said to himself: “Now it is time to release the psy alpha. How about I release it near Nice Leo’s house? He screams with joy every time he sees one.”

Doctor Wolf brought the cage to Nice Leo’s house, went back to his lab, and opened it digitally.

These sounds in this order came from Nice Leo’s house:

  1. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  2. SMASH!!
  3. GLORP GLORP!
  4. MUNCH MUNCH!

“He must have loved it!” said Doctor Wolf. A floating brain with one huge glowing eye and lots of green tentacles burst from the roof of Nice Leo’s house. “Shame about his house though,” Doctor Wolf remarked. The burrow alarm sounded and squads of superheroes started firing at the psy-alpha. “Now what are they sounding the alarm for?” Doctor Wolf wondered. The psy-alpha sent a bolt of psychic energy that reduced a squad of superheros to ruin. “Awwww, your first psy-bolt!” Doctor Wolf cooed. Nice Leo came up the steps to Doctor Wolf’s observatory.

“WHAT WERE YOU DOING YOU, LOUSY WOLF?!” Nice Leo bellowed.

“I gave you a present! It’s over there eating a squad of superheros!” Nice Leo took a laser gun and shot at the psy-alpha. Its psy-shield deflected it and it rammed through Nice Leo’s brain. As Nice Leo fell to the floor, Doctor Wolf said: “It does not like when you shoot at it Nice Leo.”

Rescue and five more squads of superheros came directed concentrated fire at the psy-alpha. One of Nice Leo’s surrogate bodies came up the stairs. The psy-alpha vaporized Nice Leo’s house where  a superhero was hiding.

“My poor house!” Nice Leo cried. Finally, the psy-alphas shields failed and it was blasted to pieces.

“Awwwwwwwwwwwwww… ” Doctor Wolf said.

“Maybe Nice Leo doesn’t like mutants. Next week I will release the eyeball monster near Doctor Bunny’s laboratory! He must love mutants.”

Part 4: The Tech Club (short story)

Excerpt from The Complete Records of the Burrow by D. Bunny:

Doctor Bunny checked the time. It’s time for the tech club! he thought. His doorbell rang. Doctor Wolf, the moose ambassador, and Nice Leo were there. Five minutes later, they were all sitting inside.

“Today, we will be playing with dangerous explosive chemicals!” Doctor Bunny announced.

“Mooo, moooo, moo, mooo, Mooooooo, mooooo!” exclaimed the moose ambassador.

“Yes, that is very important, everyone. Do not let fire get anywhere near the chemicals!” Doctor Bunny said. Nice Leo tried to build an explosive charge lobbing cannon.

“And so I put the fire ball next to the explosive chemicals and-” Nice Leo said.

“Don’t do that — ” Kaaaaabooooooom!!! 

“I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO THAT!” Doctor Bunny yelled.

“But it was such a good idea!” Nice Leo said.

“Moooo, moo, mooo!” said the moose ambassador.

“He wants to go next,” Doctor Bunny said. The moose ambassador took out a metal rod.

“Mooo, mooooo, mooooooooooo, moooooo, mooooooooo, moooooooo,” said the moose ambassador. He pressed a button on the rod and two hollow stones filled with the explosive chemical rocketed upwards. Then the rod sent out a plume of flame. The rocks exploded and flaming chemical coated bits of rock rained everywhere.

The first explosion was followed by more as those pieces of rock exploded and rained more. Three minutes later, Doctor Bunny’s living room had been reduced to flaming wreckage. After Doctor Bunny had finished yelling, it was Doctor Wolf’s turn. What looked like a large fleshy balloon with a lighter stuck in it floated into the room.

“This is a miniature homing bomb,” said Doctor Wolf. “It is full of explosive chemicals, it follows its target and when it finds it ignites the lighter stuck into its side which makes it go boom!” 

“That’s cool, um, who is it set to now?” said Doctor Bunny.

“You!” said Doctor Wolf.

Kkkkkkaaaatttthhhhhooomm!!! After Doctor Bunny’s resurrection, they continued. It was Doctor Bunny’s turn.

“I made an explosive sword,” he said. “It is an explosion proof sword that is coated in explosive chemicals. When it hits another weapon, it explodes and destroys the other weapon and anything else in the vicinity. But you are not harmed because it comes with explosion proof power armor!”

Doctor Bunny put the explosion proof power armor and hit Nice Leo’s unsuccessful invention with it. KRACK! Nice Leo’s invention was gone.

After that, they had steak with mushroom salad and caramel cake for dessert. Then, Doctor Bunny said goodbye and everyone left.

“See you next week,” Doctor Bunny said.

That night when Doctor Bunny wanted to douse the fire, he saw a peculiar huge jug of what looked like water, labeled: fire extinguisher. “Hmmmmm, I don’t remember this,” said Doctor Bunny. “Well, I might as well use it to extinguish the fire!”

The last sound that night was the explosion of a jug full of explosive chemicals being poured into a fire.

“That’s what you get for incinerating my house last tech club when we were playing with disintegration beams,” Nice Leo muttered at his house. 

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