Being a Gumball

CELIA

Hello, my name is Celia Ballington… and I am a gum ball. But I am not any gum ball; I was 2 when I fell out of the gumball dispenser onto the floor. However, I was caught in a bucket of toxic left under the dispenser because they hired people to clean the mall; there was a strange toxic disease in the pipes, but it made me immortal.

Scene 1

Present Day, 10 years Later in the Dispenser

CAMERON

Come on, help me push Connor to the door!

CELIA

Wait, what? He’s going to be stepped on out there!

CONNOR 

(waking up

What’s going on?

CAMERON 

(pushing Connor out the door)

Uhh… nothing… have a good trip!

CONNOR

(falling)

I thought I was awake!

CELIA

Why did you do that, aren’t you my best friend?

CAMERON

Ooh, good idea! Wanna be my partner in crime?

CELIA

No way—

CAMERON

Oh well, down you go then.

CELIA starts also falling. She blows frantically, stretching to make a bubblegum parachute, and catches CONNER. As they float down, a baby nearby stares at them and grabs them.

They are squished between its grasp and they head to the baby’s house.

Scene 2

An Hour Later, at the House, During Lunchtime

CONNER and CELIA roll toward the bed to hide from the mom when she picks the baby, DARWIN, up for lunch. They then decide to explore the baby’s room.

CELIA rolls up the crib, and CONNER sneakily pushes her down to land on a xylophone and rolls under the next door, leaving CELIA to be seen as MOM rushes in.

MOM

I bet it’s that rat!

The baby grabs CELIA and drools over her. 

CELIA

Gross! 

 CELIA rolls away before DARWIN can wipe her on the wall. 

CONNER

Help, I’m stuck!

There was a puddle of water on the bathroom floor and CONNER got sticky and stuck to the floor. CELIA now leaves CONNER behind as she rolls out the door, around the block to be stepped on by TEENAGER. 

TEENAGER

Ew dude, I got some gum on my cool new sneakers.

TEENAGER throws CELIA into the trash, along with the shoe. She slowly crawls into the shoe and fall asleep.

Scene 3

The Next Morning, Before Sunrise

CELIA is woken up by a chitter. 

CELIA

Ugh, I bet it’s just Cameron teasing me for being a scaredy-ball for being scared of Conner falling out. 

Instead, she wakes up to see the face of a rat. CELIA attempts to roll out of a rusty hole in the trash, but she isn’t dry, and instead patches it up. After a while, the trash and the bin are lifted up into a dump truck. 

CELIA

Conner, I’m flying! Oh, yeah he’s not here.

The rat responds, chittering happily to CELIA’s surprise.

CELIA

I must be hallucinating.

CONNER

(the rat)

You know, I am not just a rat. I was crawling through the sewers when I found some green goo. I was incredibly thirsty, so I drank it. Now I can talk!

They become friends, and sneak into restaurants, schools, and factories, picking up knowledge and resources.

Scene 4

Two Years Later

Ring! Ring! 

Celia

(in the tissue hut)

Who could it be? 

(she forgets she has her Chew5 Phone)

The contacts said it was Cameron?!

CONNER THE RAT

Answer it.

CAMERON 

(over the phone)

Hey… Celia?

CELIA

(berry annoyed)

Yeah, I’m still alive, in a home, with a best friend, doing better than I had been with you.

CAMERON

Look, I’m in chew-vie, and I got to phone someone. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.

CELIA

(hanging up)

Nice try, but I don’t want to see your round face again.

CONNER THE RAT

Don’t you have a round face, too?

CELIA

I said it from the top of my head, okay?

Scene 5

Two Years Later

CONNER THE RAT

Hello, my name is Conner and I am a rat.

MAN 1

(chuckling) 

Is this some kind of joke?

CELIA

No. My name is Celia and I am a gumball.

MAN 2

So, you scheduled a meeting.

CELIA

Yes, we are the owners of Big Toxi Curing Co.

MAN 1

Oh, I’m so sorry. Hey, do you need us?

CONNER THE RAT

We were looking for testers for our medicine, but you seem to be a good one.

MAN 1

(drinking green liquid) 

No, no, I only have the symptoms.

Everyone stares at him as MAN 1 then throws up black vomit under the table in a casual way, and then comes back to the meeting like nothing happened.

Scene 6

At the Lab

CONNER THE RAT: 

Darwin, this is Steve.

(points to MAN 1)

Steve, this is Darwin, one of our best scientists.

DARWIN

Pleasure to meet you, come hop into this tub.

Steve 

(walking in)

Ooh, a hot tub?

DARWIN closes the clear curtains, and they observe as a pink fluid sprays him.

STEVE

Cherry flavor!

STEVE’S skin turns vibrant again and he unswells.

STEVE

I feel like a new man. So am I famous now for being the first person cured? Am I super strong, or super fast?

DARWIN/CELIA/CONNER THE RAT

That will be two hundred fifty bucks.

The world is saved and our main character, CELIA, lives happily ever after forever because she is immortal… and what is a story without a happy ending?

The End.

About Conner the gum ball, he was Darwin’s pet until Darwin started working for Celia and Conner the rat, he decided to bring Conner the gum ball to the company as a tester, and Celia still had no mercy on him.

Cameron stayed in chew-vie and then in gum ball adults’ jail for the rest of her sticky life, contemplating how her phone call trick with Celia didn’t work, and just being evil.

Wait, But Before You Go, Read the Bubblegum Glossary:

Scaredy-ball: Basically scaredy-cat but when talking about gumballs

Bubblegum Parachute: Just bubbles you blow with bubblegum, but what bubblegum uses them for

Chew5: iPhone type, like iPhone 12, but when talking about gumball products

Berry: Very

Chew-vie: Juvie

Shortys and the Big Race

 

     Scene One: The Beginning

 

On stage, we see a bush and a red brick wall and no trees. It’s bright, sunny, and hot. There’s chirping birds.

 

MILLY (off stage)

Hey! Wait up.

 

Four girls run on stage. Emy first, Milly second, Kayla third, and Cat last. Emy touches the wall, and Milly closes her eyes and puts her hand in the bush.

 

EMY

First place.

 

Emy flips her golden hair with her hand.

 

MILLY

Second place.

 

Emy and Cat laugh as Kayla touches the wall.

 

KAYLA

Second place.

 

She puts an imaginary medal around her neck. Cat misses the wall by inches.

 

CAT

Third! I would be first if my mean sister Kay…

 

KAYLA

Watch it sissy.

 

EMY

I’m still counting!

 

Cat taps the wall with her finger.

 

CAT (muttering)

Third.

 

The narrator walks out as Cat silently argues with her sister, and Emy tries to break up the fight. Milly still has her hand in the bush, not noticing what’s going on. She has her eyes closed.

 

NARRATOR

The four girls called themselves the shortys because they each had long names that they had shortened. Emy was Emuleta, Kayla was Kaylamenta, Cat was Catrenen, and Milly was Milliana. They shortened them because they didn’t like them, and then people could pronounce them and couldn’t make fun of them.

 

EMY

Open your eyes, Milly.

 

Milly opens her eyes and sees her hand is in a bush. She pulls out her hand and touches the wall.

 

MILLY (muttering)

Last.

 

Their enemy Jane comes on with her sidekicks Lily, Gale, and Sadie.

 

JANE

Oh my. Lookie here.

 

CAT

Shut up, Jane.

 

EMY

You remember the time where we tricked you into jumping into the lake?

 

KAYLA

Don’t make fun of our names.

 

JANE

I challenge you to a relay race.

 

CAT

It is on!

 

Scene Two: The Training

 

We see a brick wall and Milly snoozing on the ground.

 

KAYLA

Come on, come on, come on.

 

Kayla runs on with Cat trailing behind her.

 

CAT

Hey, wait up! You got a head start! That’s cheating!

 

Emy walks on.

 

EMY

Okay, now the order. Cat, you first.

 

CAT

Why me?

 

EMY

Just, just…

 

KAYLA

You heard her. You’re first!

 

She turns to Emy.

 

KAYLA

Me next, right?

 

EMY

Sure.

 

CAT

Yeah, yeah,

 

EMY

Me next, of course!

 

KAYLA

And finally, Milly!

 

Milly sits up.

 

MILLY

Did I hear my name?

 

EMY

You did. You’ll be finishing off the race for us.

 

Milly faints.

 

EMY

Did I say something?

 

Scene Three: The Race

 

Narrator comes on stage.

 

NARRATOR

The race!!!

 

Narrator walks off stage and coach walks on.

 

COACH

Ready, set, go!

 

Cat starts to run off the stage, and narrator comes on.

 

NARRATOR

So they ran and ran and ran and ran, and Cat came in second behind Lily. And then Kayla started to run. And right behind her was Gale, but Kayla stayed ahead of her and finished before her. And then Emy started to sprint. She ran and ran and ran and ran. She was almost halfway there when Gale came home and Sadie started and Emy took first before Sadie. Then, Milly started to run.

 

Milly runs on stage with Jane close behind.

 

NARRATOR

Milly ran and Jane ran and Milly ran and Jane ran.

 

Milly and Jane turn towards the audience and run in place. They run off stage and come back on stage, and Lily, Emy, and Kayla come on stage to see the end of the race. And Jane has her hand out to touch the wall. And she touches something.

 

JANE

First.

 

Everyone laughs. And Milly touches the wall and cries with joy.

 

MILLY

First.

 

Jane opens her eyes and sees her hand in a bush.

 

MILLY

This memory is a keeper.

 

EMY

Good job!

 

Everyone bows.

 

ALL

The End.

 

Everyone walks off but Kayla.

 

KAYLA

See you in my next book, “Odd One Out.”

 

Emy walks on as Kayla takes a silly bow.

 

EMY

Come on, Kay. We don’t have forever!

 

Emy starts to pull Kayla off stage as she sends fake kisses to the audience.