Sigh: The Story of Bill, and How He Escaped From One of the Most Infamous Criminals of All Time.

by Sebastian Waizenegger, age 10
Sigh: The Story of Bill, and How He Escaped From One of the Most Infamous Criminals of All Time. Sebastian is a funny guy who plays many sports. He reads a lot and thinks of becoming a soccer player when he is older. He has gotten 2nd place in Regional Spelling Bee, and in his school's Geography Bee. He currently lives in Washington D.C. with his mom, dad, and little brother.

“Bill was sleeping in bed at 12:01 in the morning on Friday the 13th when an evil leftover piece of cereal that had been forgotten used its anger and revenge power to tap into his brain and get him off his schedule.”

Part 1

Living in an apartment on K Street is a guy called Bill who doesn’t know what to do with his life. Every day he wakes up at six and eats cereal. He checks his messages but doesn’t have any. He goes to work. He comes home from work at seven. He watches Netflix on the couch and eat chips until midnight. He goes to sleep at two. Then one day, that all that changed.

Bill was sleeping in bed at 12:01 in the morning on Friday the 13th when an evil leftover piece of cereal that had been forgotten used its anger and revenge power to tap into his brain and get him off his schedule. Getting off schedule was like death for Bill. He woke up at 12:01 instead of 6. He jumped out of bed and started screaming his head off! Help, help! All the neighbors starting flowing into his house trying to see what was wrong. What they found was a crazy dude yelling about some evil cereal. When they finally calmed him down, they called a psychiatrist. They also called 911 and an ambulance that took him to a mental hospital where he came in contact with some pretty serious characters. One of these people was a deranged guy who was telling a story to the doctors about how he ran on to a football field in a wrestling outfit. Life couldn’t be better, thought Bill.

At the hospital bed, there was a really weird doctor who kept spazzing out about how cereal cannot take over people’s brains. But, what Bill didn’t know was that this particular doctor was evil and was using reverse psychology to try to make Bill think everything was going to be all right. Plus, the spazzing was from his days as an actor and he learned to overreact very well.

So, while Bill was getting some rest, the doctor used ESP to contact his leftover cereal minions to close in on Bill’s mind and force him to obey His Evil Highness DAVE! Dave became a doctor 30 years ago when his life failed. He was accepted to all the Ivy League schools, but chose none of them, and instead opted to create a theatre company with the aid of his friend. They were broke after three years. So, he felt a career in medicine would be his last option. While in medical school, he became interested in villainous activity. Through his mad science professor, he found out that in order to be able to control random objects, all he has to do is pick out ten little girls going shopping with their mothers, and while they are crowding around looking at Barbies, he snatches them all up and takes them to the mental hospital. There, he uses the girls as an advertisement to entice people to come help them. Then, he takes more people. The benefit of the stolen people is that he slowly sucks out the brainpower of these helpless individuals to strengthen his mind control.

Back to Bill. He was lying in bed thinking, This is the best day of my life. This was more action than he had ever had and he wanted to keep it that way. This was way better than any of those fake Netflix movies. This was the real deal. So, to make it even more interesting, Bill got out of bed and went up to Doctor Dave. He said “May I please have a glass of whiskey?”

Part 2

“Whaaat?” Doctor Dave roared. “You want whiskeeey???”

“Y-y-yes,” Bill stammered. “Is t-t-there anything w-w-wrong with t-t-that?”

“Yeees, are you kidding meeee? Listen Bob, or whatever your name is, you are in an insane hospital!” he screeched. “If we give you drinks you will become haywire!” yelled Doctor Dave.

“The funny thing is, Mr. Doctor Dave, is that you are looking even more insane than me at the moment, and I am supposed to be the crazy one.”

Then, Doctor Dave started breathing, the first time Bill had heard him do so. He thought that Doctor Dave was calmer, but in actuality he was getting ready for the final punch. Dave opened the medicine refrigerator and dumped a whole big 99.8 fl. oz (about 25 liters) bottle of whiskey right on Bill’s head! The whiskey made him drowsy and all His Evil Highness had to do to knock Bill out was flick his face. So, now that Bill was out cold, Doctor Dave could drain out all of Bill’s brainpower. But, it was an interesting brainpower-sucking experience, because Bill did not have a lot going on with his life, there was not a lot going through his head.

Next: What will Bill’s brain do to Dave?

Part 3

Bill was lying on a padded table, asleep, and Doctor Dave was standing over him, his eyes closed,  hands above his ears, and grunting loudly. When Doctor Dave started to drain Bill’s brainpower, Bill started to twitch uncontrollably. But Dave didn’t notice. Suddenly, Bill woke up. This had never happened before. Bill looked around. There was Doctor Dave concentrating very hard on something. Bill couldn’t tell what he was doing. It looked as if he was trying to think or it was something else worth not explaining. He didn’t know why he was here, but in any case, needed a coffee. “Hey Doc, I’m goin’ for a Starbucks. See ya!” said Bill, and walked out. After getting coffee, he went home, was asleep at midnight, and thought What a weird and funny day before dozing off.
THE END       

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