“Once in a faraway land…”
“Wait wait wait let me tell this one Soph. So my name is Mona, I live in the abyss. I am an octocat, a very rare species of underwater cats. Actually the only species of underwater cats still living.”
Chapter 1: The Beginning(Sophia Mona)
“Once in a faraway land…”
“Wait wait wait let me tell this one Soph. So my name is Mona, I live in the abyss. I am an octocat, a very rare species of underwater cats. Actually the only species of underwater cats still living. There used to be many but the Tower Master killed them off in his battle for power and the throne of Neptune (the late octocat king). He was a bad man that Tower Master.
Anyhow us octocats had been fighting him for a while (10 years 7 months and 21 days to be exact) but we couldn’t find his secret and without a way to find him we couldn’t actually fight him. I was the head of the Elite Octocat Fighting Evil Tower Master Plan, Pickup, Destroy, Interrogate, Unit. Shortened, it was E.O.F.E.T.M.P.P.D.I.U. We dealt with the abyss’s greatest criminals including the Tower Master. We couldn’t figure out how to defeat him. Finally we got it after ten years of fighting and planning. The reason the Tower Master was untouchable was that he could shape-shift. He didn’t need bodyguards or armored cars, he could just pretend he was one of us. That was when the real panic set in.”
Chapter 2: But I haven’t had my fur dye put in (Sophia)
“Mona dear, let me tell this part, you know how traumatic this was for me.”
“Fine, if you insist. Reader,I am warning you this may get dramatic.”
“I was going to get my weekly fur treatment at Uni-cats Claw Salon and Fur. Adovio, my fur wizard (he’s actually just a barber), said I should try pink in my fur ‘because pink makes cats wink.’ Adovio was just finishing my conditioner when it happened, everything exploded in light. The last thing I remember saying was ‘but I haven’t had my fur dye put in!!!’”
“As I said before Soph can get a little dramatic. She didn’t die she was simply catnapped.”
“Yes but that is not the point. The point is I didn’t get to put my hair dye in and that is unacceptable.”
“And my point is that your point should not be the hair dye.”
“Well my point about your point about my point is that…Wait what are talking about again?”
“I don’t know. Well then let me continue the story.”
“But I’m not done”
“Now you are.”
“What are you? What are you writing? Stop stop stop it. Mona Mona. Mona Rose Douglass. I am not done. Stop writing right now or I’ll tell Lusinda.”
“Oh you’ll tell my Ma. I’m so scared. Come on, really.”
Chapter 3: Catnapped(Mona not Sophia)
“How could you, Mona. You stole my chapter. I didn’t fini…”
“Soph was gone for days. I worried day and night about her. One sec, reader. Hey Soph see how I’m ignoring you here. Continuing, finally the call came. Shaking, I picked up the phone. I recognized the voice; it was a local goon we had been trying to find for a while.
‘We want 100,000 sand dollars or our friend dies. 6:00 the sea reef. Oh oh oh and bring shark burgers we’re hungry down here.”’
‘Shush up you fool, don’t crack, I thought you were supposed to be a professional.’
‘I am a professional, a hungry professional who wants something to eat!!! You can’t just hire a goon and not feed them.’
‘I said SHUSH UP!!!’
“I remember shivering inside. I would know that second voice anywhere. That was the Tower Master. I began to plan. I took my top officers, they followed behind me, lagging about twenty fins so the Tower Master did not see them. As I swam into the sea reef I was overwhelmed by its beauty there was coral of every shape, size, and color. I swear one of them winked at me. I turned around slowly and saw the Tower Master. I was shocked to see him in his true form. Adavio.”
Chapter 4: Betrayal (Sophia)
“My turn. So all this time I was stuck in a pet carrier. A pet carrier of all things. I may be a cat but I am no fool. A pet carrier is for untamed wild animals, I am high ranking E.O.F.E.T.M.P.P.D.I.U. officer. I told this to the goon holding me but he only laughed. He laughed at me. How dare he, the disrespectful weasel. I mean that literally; he is actually a weasel. So Mona began her bargaining and just plain blabbing.
‘Which do you think is more exciting, coral or being beaten to the ground by weasels? I don’t know. Well we don’t have to find out you could just go back home and find a nice normal job without needing to do this, yeah huh huh.’
“The goon put my pet carrier down and started walking towards Mona. I predicted she had about 30 seconds to live 35 seconds max. Suddenly I felt myself moving, I try to scream but there was a paw over my muzzle.
‘We are here to help you it’s going to be ok. This is Major Bentin we will get you out of here.’
“5 minutes later I was walking with Mona. Turns out the goons were not so bad after all they just needed to be told they weren’t that bad. I turned to Mona and said to her ‘I can’t believe Adavio would betray me like that.’
‘He’s not Adavio though I mean he is but he isn’t. It’s all so confusing.’”
Chapter 5: How to beat a bad guy with sandfoil and a pocket mirror (Mona)
“Now my favorite book is a book called How to Beat a Bad Guy with Sandfoil and a Pocket Mirror. Great book, it was the reason I became head of the E.O.F.E.T.M.P.P.D.I.U. at age fourteen in octocat years (in two-leg yeg years I was two, now I’m four). Anywho, after the goons ran away to find their new home and job, the Tower Master fled. He ran from cave to cave, hiding place to hiding place. Meanwhile we were planning how to catch him. We talked about how to find him, and how to defeat him.
At 12 o’clock sharp it was time for lunch. I headed to Bob’s Seaburgers for a quick bite to eat. I was just ordering when the door chimed I glanced behind me and nearly fainted. I saw Adavio, but I wasn’t finished planning and the officers weren’t here. Then my instincts kicked in. I grabbed a role of sandfoil from behind the counter and ran as fast as my little paws could take me. I began running around Adavio wrapping him as tight as a mummy. When I ran out of foil I took a tiny mirror out of my backpack and reflected the light of the diner off the sandfoil and into Adavio’s eyes. In 2.553 seconds he couldn’t see. I remember saying to him ‘That is how you get rid of a bad guy with sandfoil and a pocket mirror.’”
Chapter 6: The Beginning of the end (Sophia)
“Back in the E.O.F.E.T.M.P.P.D.I.U. building, the Officers and I were getting a bit impatient. Actually, we were really impatient. We had received news that Adavio may be in the abyss. If he was, we were in trouble. After twenty minutes of waiting, I finally decided to go find Mona. I knew exactly where she was; it was her favorite diner. I walked through the front door and immediately saw why she was late. It was Adavio and I had a couple things to say to him. Before I could, Mona walked in front of me and said listen to the story first.
“Adavio explained that he had just wanted to get revenge on his father and that he only ever wanted to be a hairdresser:
‘When I was little my father was always away and when he was around he was always mean to me. He would tell me I was weak and I never did anything to help the family. I just wanted him to realize that I am strong and I don’t need him anymore. He started all the talk when my mother left us. There are so many days when I wish my mom was here. But she’s not. I wanted Neptune’s Throne because it was supposed to have the power to bring people back from the dead. I thought maybe I could bring back my mom and we could be together.’
I listened and it made sense but I was still mad and I had a reason. I had my own secret. Adavio had killed my family; my sister, my mother. That was when I moved in with Mona.”
“I told Adavio all of this and he began to cry. He said he hadn’t meant to hurt anyone he had just wanted infinite power. I still don’t get that to this day. “
“Me either. You don’t just say you want infinite power in front of two officers. So Soph convinced Adavio to go back to being a hairdresser and…”
“I wasn’t finished!!!”
“Sorry in advance reader.”
“To be continued after this catfight.
———-what————–no———————-hey stop—————–ow———- ———–you’re pulling my———————–I hate——————–what the —————no the———————-stop——————————ow————-sorry———————–sorry”
“Thank you, for letting us do that.”
“So we are going to share this chapter.”
Chapter 6: Continued (Mona & Sophia)
“So Adavio had just finished talking with Sophia and it seemed like we had convinced him to return to work as a hairdresser.”
“I didn’t know if he could still do hair. I mean he was blind after all. I asked him If he thought he could do my usual blowout with blond and pink highlights. He replied quickly in his british accent similar to mine:
‘Of course darling, you remembered pink makes cats wink. Those words are words to live by.’
‘Yes they are Adavio, yes they are.’
That was when I knew my old Adavio was back.”
“Now three two-leg years later we are still living in the abyss, still fighting over almostly everything, and Soph is still going for her weekly fur treatments with Adavio. He went back to being a hairdresser at the uni-cat claw salon and fur. He is surprisingly good for a blind fur-dresser. I am now working at U.C.L. Undercover Cats League. Not as interesting a title as my last league but hey what can we do.”
“I am now working as a fashion designer. The first fashion designer in the abyss. Mona and I are going to friends therapy so we can work out our kinks.”
“Sophia where is my furbrush!!!”
“Oh you still use that thing. I got rid of it.”
“Deep breath Mona, deep breath. Soph, after this you are getting me a new furbush.”
“Ok, sorry. Hey, do know what happened to Major Bentin?”
“I haven’t seen him since that goon ran off crying 14 cat years ago.”
We look at each other with understanding in our eyes. What if one of the goons hadn’t actually changed? What if the Major was in trouble?