Dear my dearest diary,
Today I had a very weird day. Here’s the story of what happened yesterday.
I was walking with my friend Julian, and I was going to sleep. He likes to pretend that he’s a fortune teller. He’s also my best friend. When I woke up, I was going to say “hi” to Julian, but then I chose to brush my teeth instead. I was thinking about Julian’s prediction: “I am going to turn into a demon, and it’s going to be for one day.” I’d bet him, and I told him that. But then, when I was going to wake him up, I saw a demon instead of my best friend.
“Julian?! What has happened to you?!”
Then I saw it all. A demon. I hit him with my dad’s baseball bat when I got a chance. Turns out he always followed me around.
I hit him with the bat at least thirty-four times until he got the confidence to say, “I AM JULIAN, SO STOP HITTING ME WITH THE BAT, OKAY JONAH?!”
Then, I stopped. It did sound like Julian. I trusted he was Julian. But then I remembered, school!! He’s going to fail if he goes to school! He’s going to make the kids pee in their pants just by looking at him with his ruby-colored eyes. I told him to get dressed. But his shirt wasn’t his size. His horn was too thick too to even go in the hole for his head! His armpit hair was too long to stick out. Since I got the responsibility of him, I was the one who had to cut his armpit hair. When I tried to cut his armpit hair, it was as hard as stone. I guess I had to have a hammer and a nail to sculpt his armpit hair into George Washington and Alexander Hamilton. But I still had to cut the hair.
“JOONAHHHH! Your brother’s coming down to go see you!”
Dun… Dun… Duuuuuuun.
“WE ARE GOING TO GET KILLED!!!” screamed Julian.
“No we are not,” I whispered, but I knew that he wasn’t listening.
“Nicholas…” Julian murmured.
I turned around slowly. My brother, Nicholas, was standing right in the middle of the staircase.
“WAY COOL!!!” my brother screamed.
I told him that this was just his dream. I carried my brother away from Julian and locked him in his room. I didn’t care if I got in trouble, but all I had to do was hide Julian until I found something that would cure him. Growl. Growl. Growl. It came from downstairs. Julian was hungry? He ate half of the soup that my mom made, and that’s when he made his — oh my goodness. His prediction was right. I had to pay him $13?! But I had a bigger problem. He’s going to eat my soul!!! But then I heard it.
“I want blood!!”
Huh??? Then I gave him some of the blood that came out of me when my brother bit me when I took him out of my room. Julian slurped it in one second. I at least got his armpit hair nicer. Even though now it looked like Alexander Hamilton and the Statue of Liberty. I didn’t really like George Washington in the first place. I got him dressed, and now I thought the demon thing was wearing off! Well now his armpit hair looked weird. Nicholas came out of his room and left a note.
Dear Jonah,
I’ll help you cover Julian until tomorrow. I heard Julian’s prediction, and he also added that the demon thing is going to wear off by tomorrow. That’s why.
Love your worst brother,
Nicholas.
(P.S. Give me $20 in return.)
I hate my brother because it’s always a trade with him. Julian read the note and said it was quite nice. He said that he pretended to get sick and stay at home, and since Nicholas and Julian are the exact same size, and they have the exact same hairstyle, Julian could be Nicholas, and Nicholas could be Julian. It was a terrific plan! So I had to get used to calling Nicholas, Julian and make sure I told Nicholas Julian’s schedule.
“So first, Julian has band, and he plays the guitar…” I started speaking.
“Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Julian plays the guitar? You know that I’m horrible at the guitar. Just one strum, and I sound like a cow. Moo! Moo!” Nicholas started whining.
“Do you want to help Julian or not?” I started saying.
I continued to say Julian’s schedule. It took a while, but I finished. When we got to school, we got in the homeroom. We were in the same class then. After a while, we finished school. We walked home together, and we got dressed again. We went to Nicholas’s room, and we saw Julian! The non-devil Julian!
“I missed you!!” I started stuffing my face into Julian’s stomach.
For some reason, Julian’s always the calm one in the house or out.
“Well the happy time’s over. Give me the you-know-what-now.”
He always gets his things.
But then, Julian pulled me and told me this, “Here.”
And I saw $20 in his hand. He wasn’t thinking of giving me his money. Hehe. Did he? But he was! He gave the money to me, and I handed it to Julian. He put it in his collection, and he looked at me.
“You! Why did you steal my $20 bill? You’ll be very, very sorry.”
And I noticed he wasn’t talking to me. He was talking to Julian! That’s the $20 bill that he gave me! He’s always sneaky. The rest was a little inappropriate, so I won’t tell you. See you soon, diary!
Love your owner,
Jonah
(P.S. I don’t want to run into any of those demon predictions again!)
(P.P.S. I am sooo impressed that he would notice such a thing!)
I closed my diary and looked out the window. It’s always so calming to do that.
“Jonah! Your dinner’s ready!”
And that’s when the moment disappeared.
“COMING!!!” I shouted.
Then I looked out the window again, and I started my way down the stairs. Then I enjoyed my dinner. I went to sleep until something grabbed my foot. I looked down.
“I can’t get up,” my grandpa said in a croaky voice.
“WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!” I screamed.
Then when I turned my head back to my grandpa from my brother. Grandpa was sleeping.
I slapped my head. “Are you kidding me?”
And now, this is the time I sleep. Good night to the people who are reading this at this very moment. Hope Julian’s prediction isn’t right this time! It’s that we will grow a tail.
The next day…
AHH!!!
To be continued…