“Hi, I’m Jerry Johnson, and I’m in jail right now. This story is about how I ended up in jail which I like to believe is all my cell mate’s fault. It all started one hot summer morning on the last day of school when…”
“Greet the devil, the devil eats you, don’t greet the devil, the devil still eats you.”
Hi, I’m Jerry Johnson, and I’m in jail right now. This story is about how I ended up in jail which I like to believe is all my cell mate’s fault. It all started one hot summer morning on the last day of school when…
“Wake up!” called a raspy voice that could only belong to my dear old mother. “Hurry up, or you’ll be late,” she called from the kitchen. You don’t want to be late on the last day of school.
“Okay, okay I’m coming,” I said, and just like that, I was on my way to the last day of Katen Middle School.
When I got to class, I noticed a note taped to my locker. It said… Greet the devil, the devil eats you, don’t greet the, the devil still eats you.
During the rest of my school day, I could only think of one thing. What would happen if someone met the devil in real life? I thought. Well, my wish came true because later that day…
I went for a stroll in the park when I noticed something rather peculiar…
There was a person, no an e.t., meditating on one of the rusty park benches three feet to my right. This could only mean one thing, I thought excitedly. THE DEVIL was meditating right next to me.
This is my chance, I thought, so I cleared my throat and bravely walked past while saying hi devil.
He opened his eyes in three seconds flat while roaring, “LEAVE, OR I WILL BE FORCED TO EAT YOU!!!”
“Ahh!” I screamed as I ran away.
I had been running for 10 minutes before realizing I had left my phone right near the devil. It has all my bank accounts. Without that, I can’t go to a private high school. I quickly sprinted back in the other direction till I arrived at the meditating devil then I quickly walked past the devil hoping to not disturb him. But I realized I wasn’t as stealthy as I had imagined when…
I stepped on a twig, waking the devil yet again! If I thought he was really mad the first time around, boy was I wrong. He was black as night with a yellow smile, fire red horns, and bloodshot eyes filled with pure hatred.
“This time I actually really WANT TO EAT YOU!!!”
He lifted me up in an effortless fashion and put his face so close to mine that I could smell his breath in my nostrils, making me gag in disgust. This time I knew I was meeting my end when he opened his mouth and…
“Stop right there, mister,” called a policeman a little ways from us. “We have two rules in central park,” he called. “Rule number one, no littering, and rule number two, absolutely no eating each other,” he screamed orderly. “Now I’m afraid I’ll have to take both of you to jail.”
“Me? Why me?” I asked puzzled.
“Because everyone knows that you never ever go near the devil when he’s meditating,” the policeman said as though it was obvious.
“But, but,” I said pleadingly.
“This is out of discussion,” he said cutting me off.
Later that horrid day…
“Are we there yet?” I asked the police who put us in handcuffs for the 20,000,000 time.
“For crying out loud, when we’re there, we’re there,” he cried impatiently.
I was about to ask again when… “STOP TALKING!” screamed the devil.
Sheesh, I thought to myself. Someone’s got anger issues. But I still stayed quiet for the rest of the walk.
I knew we were there without even asking when I noticed a gray, gloomy building with many stories but surprisingly no windows. It looked foreign and out of place in the colorful and luscious forest.
When we got inside, they gave me and the devil each a gray jumpsuit and assigned us to our cells. I felt so angry and screamed like a baby because they thought it was a good idea to put me and… the devil in the same cell. It just goes to show you that some people don’t have any common sense. Am I right? Or am I right?
When we got into the cell, I saw the devil pull out a phone that could only be mine. It was an iPhone 4 with a red case and a cracked screen. It had all of my bank accounts on it because I need it to pay for school. I was so mad when I saw him on it, especially when I saw him on Facebook.
I thought to myself, He’s going to ruin my social media status before I even have one.
“Devil,” I said, “can you please give me my phone back?”
“Fine,” he said, exasperated, “but only if you don’t make any noise when you’re in this cell.”
“Not even a peep?” I asked.
“Not even a peep,” he replied.
“Fine,” I agreed, annoyed, so we both got what we wanted: me, my phone, and the devil, peace and quiet.
(Have a nice day!)