“My name is Universe. I like the possibility of infinity. Infinity means the highest number possible, which I like to say means anything is possible.”
My name is Universe. I like the possibility of infinity. Infinity means the highest number possible, which I like to say means anything is possible. I like that anything is possible. My favorite class is science. Anyway, my journey started one day after a long, boring day of school. I was talking to my friends.
Suddenly, the science teacher popped up and said, “Universe, the U.S. wants a kid to go to space, and I thought about you.”
This was the chance of a lifetime.
I said, “Of course!”
The very next day I went into the rocket.
I heard them say, “Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one, blast off!”
Next, I went to look at my suit. It was a smaller, newer version of the other suits. The other astronauts helped me put it on. It was a little bulky, but otherwise comfortable. It was hard to get up once you fell down in it. When we finally got up to the moon, I went in space for the first time! When I first stepped on the moon, I fell because of the lack of gravity. After that, I grew accustomed to the gravity, and didn’t fall again.
I asked, “Can we go to the rest of the universe?”
They laughed and said, “Can we? I don’t think we are allowed to do it, Universe.”
They were being really weird, but I expected that. What else should I expect from grownups? If they expected me to put up with them, I would jump out the window. I wished that grownups wouldn’t be so weird. I did jump out of the window. It was fun. I climbed in and jumped out a couple more times. I had a jetpack with me. I liked the jetpacks best. You could steer them, and mine gave you candy, roasted marshmallows, and s’mores. I loved space because you feel like you could do anything if you could breathe in space. I started to go to the sun. Soon, I shifted it to heat protection, and a suit of fire appeared to shield me from the heat.
“Yahoo!” I yelled when I flew to the surface.
I wished that I could do that again and again and again. Instead I explored the sun. Through the suit, I could see the light and heat particles. They were so full of light that I couldn’t believe that on Earth you couldn’t see them. I could’ve stayed there for hours and hours, but I had to leave almost too soon. I wanted to see more particles. The particles were much better than the weird grownups. I wished that I could stay there forever, but too bad that I couldn’t.
Suddenly, I heard something say, “Hello.”
I nearly wet my pants. It was an alien. It looked surprisingly human, but no other human has gone to the sun. It was weird, but it wasn’t something from the weird grownups because they weren’t that smart. (For the grownups that are reading this, yeah, I really said that, but it’s true. Grownups are naturally stupid and weird.) It wasn’t that surprising, because I’d seen many crazy things. I went to Mercury to see if I could make another remark about grownups being stupid. There were a lot of craters, but I didn’t even need my fire protection. I found a lake of good drinking water. This was proof that grownups were not that smart after all. They were easy to fool. Their robots had a lens that made them see a desert. They were very gullible. I wished teachers were that gullible with homework. Actually, I take that back. They forget that they’d given it and they gave more. Now, grownups couldn’t deny that. They should go to jail. It certainly was a crime to abuse kids with homework. Abuse was a crime! They couldn’t deny that, could they. Recesses were abusively short, and school was abusively long. There were twelve months in a year, and there were ten months of school. Horrible! Why weren’t there six months of school and six months of vacation. That was also abuse. I went next to Venus next to clear my mind of grownups. Venus helped. It only helped because Venus was so boring. Or maybe because nothing ever happened. Wait! That’s just the same thing.
Next, I went to Mercury. At Mercury, I had a close call. Grownups were there, and for all I knew, they were still there. I decided to play a trick on them. I danced in front of them and put blindfolds on their faces. They were probably still swiping at the air. It reminded me of my friends doing my boring homework. At home, I spent my time reading or exploring. At least I brought my books. I still liked the Harry Potter books. The people at home thought that I was crazy to like books. I didn’t miss them at all. I definitely didn’t miss the homework. I hated homework, but who didn’t?
Next came Venus. It was very, very hot. You thought the sun was hot? Go to Venus! I was protected, so I wasn’t affected, and neither were the aliens. They were made of fire. (They also agreed that grownups were too much trouble.) They could talk and do everything that humans could do, as well as the things that they couldn’t. They were good friends, so we kept in touch.
I went to Neptune next. It looked cold, and it was just as cold as a snowstorm, but without the wind and snow. Those aliens were made of ice. Their sad, surprised faces reminded me of my teachers when they realized that I hated their classes. It just showed how crazy grownups were. I didn’t want to think any more about grownups. The aliens gave me drawing paper, since I left mine at home. I drew croctupuses and illigels for them. A croctupus was an octopus and a crocodile. An illigel was a lion, a snake, a butterfly, a cat, and an elephant.
I visited the rest of the universe next. It was really hard to go to another solar system. You had to run through the portal before it disappeared. It took me eight tries to make it. I visited a planet that I named Planet Chocolate because it was made of chocolate. As soon as I bit off a piece, it grew back. There were chocolate aliens. Everything except me was made of chocolate. The aliens gave me a bucket of everlasting chocolate. It was the best planet.
Next, I visited Planet Cheese. It was made of cheese, stinky cheese. I held my nose the whole time without even visiting the aliens. Then, I visited Vanilla Planet. It was made of vanilla. Of course the aliens were made of vanilla. They gave me a bucket of everlasting vanilla. I was pretty sure that Cheese Planet was the only disgusting planet. Next up, Vegetable Planet. I made a mistake. That was a disgusting planet. I spent about two seconds there. I hoped that the next planet would be better, and it was! It was Cotton Candy Planet. Yummy! They gave me a whole box of everlasting cotton candy. After that, I went to Lollipop Planet. The lollipops were delicious. I loved the chocolate lollipops. I got a lot of lollipops. Next, I went to Eclair Planet. It was one big eclair. It had a lot of cream. I got so many everlasting eclairs. I loved it! Next up, Macaron Planet. It was made of chocolate, vanilla, caramel, and so much more. The best part of each planet was getting the everlasting candy. After that, Ice Cream Planet! That was the best planet yet! There were so many flavors! I took most things from there. Then came Cookie Planet. That was a flat planet. It was a giant chocolate, chocolate chunk, sugar cookie. When I got my loot I started eating the everlasting cookies right away. They all smelled fresh, right out of the oven, and so did the planet. I couldn’t help it. To stop my mouth watering, I went to Planet S’more. (I didn’t want to offend them.) I thought that this solar system should be called the food solar system. Though Planet S’more was so mouthwatering, it was the best planet ever! The marshmallows weren’t too dark or too light. They were toasted to perfection. The chocolate wasn’t too syrupy or too hard.
Next, I went directly to Planet Fruit. It had all kinds of fruit. All of the fruit was in season all year long. The fruit that they gave me would never spoil, and it was everlasting fruit. After that came Planet Gummy. Everything was made of gummy. Yummy yummy! Hey! That rhymes. The people were even made out of gummy. It was the first planet I had gotten up the courage to talk to the aliens.
“Hi,” their leader said, “You are the first visitor. Sorry it looked deserted. We were afraid a grownup had come.”
“Nah, grownups aren’t that smart,” was my response. “Don’t forget that.”
“Won’t,” they promised.
Then, suddenly, a little boy asked the leader, “She help us?”
“With what?” I asked.
“A war with who?” I asked.
“With Bob,” they said.
I screamed. Bob was the name that struck fear in everybody, everytime, everywhere.
“Is he the B… B… B… Bob?” I stuttered.
“Bob. Real Bob.”
“I’ll help,” I said, trembling.
I soon learned that Bob put the poison in the gummies food that prevented them from growing back when bitten into. After that, he bit them. That was why they were scared. Bob was a grownup. Now do you see why I was so prejudiced against them? And it was not just Bob. It was all of them. Teachers especially. The homework. Anyway, enough about grownups. We would have a war across the galaxy. We would beat the legendary Bob. I just thought of something.
“Bob and his accomplice?” I asked.
They answered, “Bob accomplice.”
Bob’s accomplice was Pink Fluffy Unicorn. The last time they were heard from was when they danced on rainbows. They were brave. Very brave. I wouldn’t dare fight Bob. I was crazy. So were they. We were going to warn the other planets. They wouldn’t be surprised. Maybe they would help. I did it. The other planets would help. We had an army. We would beat Bob! Bob fought with boxes of textbooks. Scary. We fought with everything we had. I nearly got hit! We were beating him back. We saw him wetting his pants.
Suddenly, he shouted, “I surrender!”
We won! The shout we gave was so loud that we fell.
We shouted, “We beat Bob! We beat Bob!”
After, I asked, “Can I move to S’mores Planet?”
The answer was, “Yes.”
I wrote a letter:
Dear Mom and Dad. I live on S’mores Planet. I will never do my homework or brush my teeth. Or brush my hair. If you care. I most certainly don’t. Just in case.