“Once there was a man called Jonny. He was young enough to be a footballer (soccer player), so that’s what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a good midfielder to defend and attack. But he felt like he was being watched and followed but not by just an over-supervised mum, they were something a lot more unusual (and eccentric), it was, wait for it… PEACOCKS!!!”
Once there was a man called Jonny. He was young enough to be a footballer (soccer player), so that’s what he wanted to do. He wanted to be a good midfielder to defend and attack. But he felt like he was being watched and followed but not by just an over-supervised mum, they were something a lot more unusual (and eccentric), it was, wait for it… PEACOCKS!!!
When he realized they were PEACOCKS, he asked one of the people at the bus stop to pinch him to make sure he wasn’t dreaming, but the guy just ran off trying not to make direct eye contact. But later, he thought what the heck would peacocks do to his dream football (soccer) career, but two days later, he would find out the hard way.
Two days later
After ages researching on his laptop he finally found a team, but it was Leicester City in the midlands and Jonny lived in Dorset. This meant he had to move away and drive halfway through England, but fortunately he had enough money because he achieved a promotion at work. For some reason his BOSS gave him a FORTUNE. So he moved to a house 10 minutes away from the stadium and drove there.
First match – Disaster
He joined the fan coach and travelled all the way back to Dorset to play the Bournemouth Football Club. Well, that match didn’t even last a FULL MINUTE, because instantly a group of peacocks ran onto the pitch and pecked EVERYBODY, including Jonny. It went all over BBC news and FOOTBALL news. And finally it went on social media, and suddenly the incident was called the ‘Bozo Peacocks.’
After that, peacocks went to their hide and said, “Time to sabotage Leicester City again, but this time they’re playing home, that means we don’t have to do backflips on to the fan coach! Peacocks GO!!!” they shouted.
Second match – Disaster
This time, Jonny didn’t need to catch the bus because he was playing home against newly-promoted Sheffield United. So the match went better than the one against Bournemouth, in fact he had already scored a goal, but something was about to ruin it because after 20 minutes of playing, the peacocks (THE SAME) ran onto the pitch and did something worse than pecking at somebody’s foot. They shoved their heads in the astroturf, which made decent sized holes to twist people’s ankles. Again, it went viral. You name it, BBC news, FOOTBALL news and social media, which was called a different name, ‘The Peacocks Return.’
Peacocks Go Crazy
Jonny caught the fan coach and travelled to Liverpool to play Everton. You may have thought the peacocks would’ve given up, right? But no, they went crazier than ever before. They hijacked a plane and dropped mini bombs all over the stadium, which meant the people there had to evacuate immediately. And dude, I’m not even gonna tell you what’s on the news, but I will tell you what’s on social media. The name is ‘The Peacocks Go Psycho’.
Now after that incident, Jonny tried to investigate because this was really annoying him, so the next day, he went looking. Jonny knew that the peacocks wouldn’t be in the middle of the city since that would be too obvious, so he decided to search on the outskirts of the city. But no luck appeared, so he called his friend Jake to come as quick as possible. After that, they started to search, and after half an hour, they found the peacock hide and surely, they were there planning for more sabotages. They knew exactly what they were going to do. Jonny and Jake already had a dozen cages. It did take a long time, but it was worth it because when they handed it into the zoo, the photographers instantly gave cash for their paycheck.
Now that incident shocked the whole WORLD. In fact, loads of people from all over came to Leicester, just to find the peacocks. People actually PROMISED that if they found them, the only option was to throw them into the zoo or ELSE.
The next day Jonny went to Tesco’s and got the Guardian newspaper. He smiled because this is what it said: “2 Men Find Peacocks, returns to zoo. Peacocks actually say we just want worldwide football!”
Now, Jonny had to tell his teammates about his relation with the peacocks because if he never let it out, this controversy would never end. So the next day, he came early for training and told them about it. At first they thought he was joking, but later on they started to believe them and they then showed a video of him being followed by the peacocks. He thought that he must’ve posted his video to them although he didn’t remember doing that, but his family had a history of bad memory so that probably explains why.
People had to build football (soccer) stadiums for the peacocks all over the world, otherwise the peacocks would attack the stadiums again. Anyways, the peacocks lived a happy football (soccer) life, and so did the humans. Jonny felt a LOT of glee, so that night (the only night because footballers have to keep well, but you could call this a one-off), he was a couch potato watching TV until 12 PM. But unfortunately, it looks like I’m out of paper so I suppose this is the…