Halloween in Germany
In Germany, Halloween is on December 13th, but instead of people trick-or-treating, people wear Teletubby suits and sleep in the subways. They watch Teletubby videos and watch the president give the Teletubbies the Nobel prize. The Teletubbies throw a party to make everyone tubby so they can’t fit in Alex’s vac pack. Halloween is the only time when mustard is not illegal. Teletubbies give everyone mustard so they will become sleepy and do whatever the Teletubbies want. These things happen because December 13th is on…FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!
The Teletubbies order everyone to find a man named Alex Henderson so the Teletubbies can meet Moby *** (the whale (duh)). The Teletubbies know everything because the TVs on their chests show them everything in the whole entire multiverse. They want to see Moby *** because he invented the lightbulb (LOL). Everybody thinks that Thomas Edison invented the lightbulb because Thomas Edison stole the first lightbulb from Moby *** and said that he invented the lightbulb. Thomas Edison’s brother said that Thomas Edison died of diabetes because he was actually killed by Moby ***. The Teletubbies need Moby *** to make a time machine to stop the people that made them from discontinuing them.
All the people of Germany went to Alex’s vac pack and tried to open it. They all got sucked in and the vac pack exploded and Moby *** came out. Moby *** gave them the time machine that he made over the thousands of years that he’s been in that vac pack. The Teletubbies went back in time in 2001. Andrew Davenport was sitting at his desk, thinking of new ideas for the Teletubbies and then he decided to discontinue them. Then, there was a bright flash and the Teletubbies used their tubby powers to kill him. Tubby powers are things that are powers that you can only use if you are tubby enough. The only tubby power that you can use is a body slam where if you jump up you’ll jump really high and when you fall you’ll fall faster than anything else, and when you land you will kill/break the thing you landed on. The teletubbies can only use these powers because they are tubby and they have TVs on their chest. Then, the Teletubbies started melting.
“What’s happening?!!!” asked one.
The Teletubbies discontinued themselves by killing their creator. The Germans dress as Teletubbies on Halloween (FRIDAY THE 13TH!!!) because they admire the Teletubbies because the Teletubbies made them when they were alive. The End…or is it?
Christmas in Germany
Christmas in Germany is the time when all the Germans dress up as Dora the Explorer and Diego. They run around Germany and sleep in gas stations. They drive in the driveway and park in the parkway. They eat carrots and then dress up as a bunny and eat rabbit food and say, “What did the rabbit say? DING DING DING DING DINGDADING, DING,” and then they say “WE MUST STEAL MA-YO-NAYSE, VAC-PACK MUST DIE.” So the German SWAT team doggy paddled on doggies. It took ten years. They opened Alex’s vac pack and disabled the vacuum device.
“WE WON!!!” they screamed, followed by them laughing evily.
“MWAHAHAHAHAHA…MWAHAHAHAHAHA!…MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!” They laughed like that for 50 years. And then they moved so slowly that 5 minutes later, Alex realized that he forgot his backpack (no longer a vac pack) at the airport and he took his backpack while the (retired) German SWAT team tried to take the now 110 year old tub of mayonnaise (and failed).
Eraser Day in Germany
Eraser day in Germany is the day when people wear erasers that they bought probably the day after Eraser Day last year. The erasers are very, very dirty because they erased their whole house so everyone lives in erasers on Eraser Day because if they don’t, they get kicked in the face by everyone. Everyone loves Eraser Day because they get erased in their eraser clothes, so after Eraser Day the population of Germany is 10. On Eraser Day, someone named Jimmyjoebillybobtommytim erases everything in the universe, so the big bang happened again because after the universe was erased, someone went back in time and exploded the biggest bomb that man will ever create and as the universe developed again, Jimmyjoebillybobtommytim fell in a hole and died.
Once Jimmyjoebillybobtommytim had a tooth. It was the most sacred tooth in all of Germany. He used it to power a time machine and went back in time and accidently pressed the self destruct button. Then, the 123456789987654321th big bang happened.
Why Germany Is Crazy
When Icosaxx was little, he fell of the Eiffel tower onto a trampoline. His DNA got messed up and his mind frame changed to that of an adult. He passed college and became the smartest man in the world. Although being the smartest man in the world, he got little to no recognition.
In Germany, someone invented a time machine and went back in time and killed Hitler. In the future, he didn’t go back in time to kill Hitler because there was no reason. Then the universe exploded. After the 3rd big bang, a time machine was created and duplicated twenty times by going back in time to ten seconds ago twenty times. Then there were twenty scientists named Icosaxx. They all got into a fight about who was the real Icosaxx and one got into a time machine and destroyed the time machine that made the 3rd big bang. Then the universe ended (at least for 10,000,000,000,000 years). In a parallel universe, the Icosaxx missed a button on the time machine and went back in time to become the smartest person in history named Einstein. In another parallel universe, the Icosaxx traveled back in time to become Leonardo Da Vinci. He also became Michelangelo, Abraham Lincoln, Napoleon, Martin Luther King Jr, Shakespeare, etc.
Once Icosaxx invented a robot. A reproducing, communicating robot.The robot population grew and grew, and soon enough the robots took over the world. Then the one person left, Icosaxx, duplicated himself once more and touched himself. Then the universe exploded.
After the fourth big bang, Icosaxx changed his name to Icosikaihenainteger. ( ico-sika-ihe-nain-teg-er) Icosikaihenainteger was then finally recognized as the smartest person in the world in the year 9,999. Unfortunately, the world ended 10 seconds after the year 10,000.