“One day in Southern Foodafonia, the King of the Hot Dog Empire called a meeting with the Lord of Hambergria.”
One day in Southern Foodafonia, the King of the Hot Dog Empire called a meeting with the Lord of Hambergria.
“We must go to war!” shouted King Hot Dog.
“With who?” asked Lord Hamburger, who was more intelligent than the hot dog.
“The humans!” shouted King Hot Dog.
“Okay?” said Lord Hamburger.
Back in human land…
“La la la!” shouted the King of Lord of King 2 of Human Land. “I am so cool!!” he shouted.
“King!” shouted a random person who ran into the throne room/bathroom/kitchen/cheese storage.
“King Hot Dog and Lord Hamburger have gone to battle!”
“With who?” asked the king.
“With you!” screamed the very random person.
“How do you know?” asked the king.
“Because they told me,” answered the person.
“What? How? Why did they tell you?” asked the king.
“They told me, so I can kill you!”
Then he fell down. Confused, the king looked around the room.
The King of Humans spun around and saw a hot dog running from the person who was actually a hot dog in a costume. The king ran from the room, shouting more curse words than a normal person should know — with the hot dog still running after him. The king ran into the town and jumped into the well. The hot dog fell into the water and died.
One hour later…
After the king was pulled out of the well, he made an announcement. “The hot dogs have attacked us! They tried to kill me! And they ruined this nice shirt I had on — but anyway! We will now go to war! To war! To war!! To war!!!”
“Sir!” said the man.
“What do you want?” snapped the general of the weapon makers of the humans.
“The king needs 40 cannons by Flusday!” said the man.
“Fine,” said the general.
“Oh, also can you make me a carrot gun?” asked the man.
“Why?” asked the general.
“For fun,” replied the man.
“Okay,” said the general.
“Excellent… excellent!” said the man who was rubbing his hands together.
“Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo!” screamed the Hot Dog King as he danced on the toilet. “Wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo wo!” he shouted.
“Uh… what are you doing?” asked Lord of Hambergria.
“Wo!” shouted the King of the Hot Dog as he shook his red butt at Lord Hamburger.
“Um… I need to go now,” said the Hamburger King as he walked out the door.
“Not so fast!” screamed the Hot Dog King as he pulled a lever behind him.
Suddenly the door slammed shut and locked itself.
“Lock activated,” said a computer voice.
“Eat some bread,” said the Hot Dog King as he tossed a loaf of bread at the Hamburger Lord.
“Fine,” said King Hamburger, and he started to cut the bread.
Ding dong! rang the doorbell.
“Who is it?” asked the person inside.
When no one answered, he came to the door. The man opened the door. He was the general. The general looked around and saw a letter on the ground. The general picked up the letter off the ground. He started to read the letter. Suddenly his face looked angry.
“Boom boom monkey!!!” he shouted.
“Sir, the cannons are ready!” said the general of the weapon makers.
“Good… they will pay for what they did to my shirt!” said King Human.
“And they will pay for the letter they sent to me!” said the general as he ripped up the letter in his hands.
“The hot dogs and the hamburgers will die!!!” screamed the king and general at the same time.
“Ho ha ho ha ho ha he he he he he ho!!! With cheese and peas! So go to come!!! Come! Come! Come! Ha ha ha ha ha!”
“Yay! It’s my birthday today!”
“Do we get cake?”
“Yay!” screamed a group of kids at a birthday party.
“Stop screaming! Stop it!” shouted an angry parent.
“Yay cake!” screamed the kids.
“Run for your life!” screamed someone outside. “The hot dogs are attacking!”
The kids ran to the window to see what was happening.
Soon they started to scream, “The city is gone!”
“I want my mommy!”
Suddenly the building exploded. Boom!
“We need help! We must defeat the hot dogs! So I asked for help. Meet… the cows!!!” said the King of the Humans as he opened the door behind him.
“Moo,” said a cow.
The general blinked. “So all the humans in this world are ruled by a crazy person who hires cows to do his bidding?!” said the general.
“Yes!” said the king as he shook his head.
“Well… hello!” said a voice.
The general jumped. He looked around the room but saw no one.
“I’m over here!” said the voice again.
The general looked at the cow. “You can talk?!” said the general.
“I am smart, so I can talk,” said the cow, “and I have a suit, so I am a business cow.”
The general’s mouth dropped. “Bu-bu… ” he said.
“Pizza army, come come come come!!!”
“If hot dogs win this war, we all die! So listen up! This is the battle strategy! We sneak the 100-foot tank past the great hot dog wall, then boom bam boom boom boom bam boom!!! Ha ha ha!” said the King of Humans. “Now… go!!!” he screamed.
The human army ran up the hill as fast as they could.
“Stop!” said a voice.
“The man?” said the king. “What are you doing?” asked the king.
“Killing you! Pizza, attack!!!” said the man.
“Pizza!” screamed a lot of voices.
Then everything went black.
“Moo moo moooooo!”
“Moo!” said a lot of cows.
“Yes… okay. Tom, more pizza… no… no pepperoni!” said the cow in a suit.
“Yes?” said the cow in a suit as he picked up a phone.
“Help!!!” screamed a voice from the phone.
“Okay — but who are you?” asked the cow.
“The King of Humans!!!” screamed the human phone.
“Okay, but can you wait a few hours? Tom wants pizza,” said the cow.
“No, come now!” screamed the king.
“Fine,” said the cow.
“He has no interest in business,” said the cow sadly.
“No. Not now, Fred. We need to save them.”
“I said no! No more talk.”
“Fine… you can go… but be quick!” said a cow who was wearing a suit.
He watched as Fred ran off to the bathroom. Beep… boop… beep!
“Who is it?” asked the cow as he picked up the phone
“Help!” screamed the person who called.
“Is this the King of Humans?”
“Yes!” screamed the King of Humans.
“Help!” he screamed again.
“Okay, I’m coming,” said the cow.
“Come faster!!!” screamed the king.
“Do you have an army to come save me?! And me only! Who cares about everyone else?” said the king.
“Yes, I have an army of cows with me,” answered the cow.
“Cows?! What can cows do?!” screamed the king.
“My cows know kung fu,” answered the cow calmly. “Bye,” said the cow, and he put the phone down.
“No!” said the King of Humans.
“Don’t blow my head off!”
“Pizza pizza,” said a voice.
“No!” he screamed
“No!” he screamed.
The king closed his eyes.
“Please no,” he whimpered.
“Get up,” said a voice.
The king slowly opened his eyes and saw… a cow standing in front of him.
“Cow!” shouted the king happily.
“Business cow,” corrected the business cow.
“Come with me please,” said the business cow.
“Okay,” answered the king.
“Can I have water?” he asked.
Ten minutes later…
“Are the tanks ready?”
“Are the cannons ready?”
“Are the guns ready?”
“Is all the other stuff ready?”
“Charge!!!” screamed the general as the two armies crashed into each other.
“General!” screamed a soldier.
The general ran to him.
“What?” he asked.
“This person exploded!” said the soldier.
“What?” asked the general.
“This person exploded!” repeated the soldier.
“I know that!” said the general. “But people don’t explode?!”
“But he did!” said the soldier. “And if you don’t believe me, your brain is smaller than dirt!!!”
Then he fainted.
Boom! The head of a soldier came flying and hit the general in the head.
“What was that?!” the general said to no one.
“Die!!” said a hot dog.
The general jumped out of the way and ate the hot dog.
“General!” said a soldier.
“What?” asked the general.
“My friend blew up!” said the soldier.
“Another person?!” asked the general.
“Yes!” said the soldier.
“Did something seem strange today?” asked the general.
“Um… yes, the food person seemed really old, and he had a lot of carrots,” said the soldier.
“The man! He must have used the carrot gun!” exclaimed the general. “How many people ate the carrots?” he asked the soldier.
“Everyone! But not me. I hate carrots,” answered the soldier.
“No… ” said the general slowly. “Run!” he screamed to the soldier.
Boom!!! The general and the soldier ran as fast as they could. Boom!!! Boom!!! Boom!!! Boom!!!
“Ow!” said the soldier.
“What?” asked the general.
“Something hit me… ” said the soldier, then he fell asleep.
“Wha… ?” said the general.
Then everything went black.
“I said wake up!”
“Blok?” said the general sleepily.
“What? Where am I?” asked the general.
“You’re in the kingdom!” The general blinked twice and then looked around.
“The king?!’” the general exclaimed.
“Yes,” said the king.
“What happened? Did we win?” asked the general.
“Yes,” answered the king.
“Why am I tied up?” asked the general.
“I was bored,” replied the King of the Humans.
The general looked around the room — the soldier was asleep next to him. Suddenly, somebody in a different room screamed.
“Who was that?” asked the general.
“That was the man,” said the king. “We found him running toward the cheese city. We put him in the fart chamber with the Hot Dog and Hamburger King,” said the king.