Category: Spring 2020

On Monday night, Taylor Chris was sitting on her couch next to her mother. They were watching Taylor’s favorite reality show: Spelling Bee Champ. It was the last round and it was a boy, Marc, vs. a boy, Harry. Marc had to spell nefarious. If he got it right, he’d win the challenge.

Under her breath Taylor spelled, “N-e-f-a-r-i-o-u-s. Nefarious.”

Taylor’s mom chuckled. “Taylor, you should be on this show. Every word they’ve shown, you’ve spelled correctly.”

Taylor shook her head. “No way! Hundreds—no, thousands of people watch this show! Maybe even millions.” Taylor shuddered. 

But little did Taylor know her mom registered her anyway. Taylor loved talking and interacting with other people. The only kind of shy she is, is camera shy. She just doesn’t like being on camera. Marc answered nefarious incorrectly. Next was Harry. Harry had to spell claustrophobic – much harder than nefarious.

“C-l-a-u-s-t-r-o-p-h-o-b-i-c. Claustrophobic. Fear of being in small spaces,” Taylor muttered. Taylor high-fived her mom when she got it correct. Maria Spindle was just about to crown Harry the new Spelling Bee Champ when someone in a sweatshirt and headset came and whispered something in her ear.

Maria Spindle smiled. “Guess what? We’re starting a new promotion: The International Spelling Bee Championship! We’re not just in the US any more!”

Taylor’s mom looked nervous. “Taylor… I registered you for the next spelling bee.”

Taylor was laughing until she saw her mother’s face. “Mom, I know you meant well, but next time make sure that I won’t be going up against the best spellers from around the world before you register me for a contest.” Taylor thought for a minute. “Where are we going?”

“All over. But the first stop is Sydney, Australia, then London, England, then Paris, France, then more.”

Taylor was tired so she went to bed but before she did, she packed one carry-on suitcase. She packed two weeks worth of clothes, pajamas, and shoes for any and every condition. And in her book bag she packed her coloring book, colored pencils, encyclopedia, thesaurus, and dictionary. Finally she went to sleep. She supposed she was excited for the trip but she was too tired to tell.

The next morning, Taylor got up quickly. Their plane for Sydney left at 1:00 pm. They could not be late. Taylor choked down her toast and slurped her orange juice as quickly as she could before her mom stopped her.

“Taylor? Stop this nonsense.We have three hours to get to the airport! It’s only 9:00 am.” Taylor slowly calmed down, but she couldn’t stop thinking about the Spelling Bee. Were there going to be a lot of kids? Was everyone going to be much more sophisticated than her? What if she was the only one her age?! But her mom kept reminding her to calm down. It sort of worked. She supposed. S-u-p-p-o-s-e-d. Usually spelling calmed Taylor down. D-o-w-n. But now those questions just flooded through Taylors head like a storm. S-t-o-r-m. Ugh. Not even spelling could get these questions out of her head. H-e-a-d. Taylor didn’t understand. She’d been in spelling bees before. Why did this bother her? Maybe it was because this would be on international television. T-e-l-e-v-i-s-i-o-n. Taylor was starting to relax and let her guard down, until she thought of a new question. Q-u-e-s-t-i-o-n. Aye. She couldn’t stop thinking of words – but what if during the Spelling Bee she stopped completely? While Taylor’s mom drove them to the airport, Taylor flipped through her dictionary. She pointed her finger to the word wicked. W-i-c-k-e-d. Next cerebrum. C-e-r-e-b-r-u-m. Taylor played this game until they arrived at the airport.

“Mom, can you quiz me on some of the words in my thesaurus?” asked Taylor.

“Of course,” said her mom. The first word was crimson, c-r-i-m-s-o-n, the next catastrophe, c-a-t-a-s-t-r-o-p-h-e, the third private, p-r-i-v-a-t-e, and the last extreme, e-x-t-r-e-m-e. Soon they boarded their flight. Their tickets said first class! They were served hot fudge sundaes with peppermint syrup, and brownies for lunch. As it turned out, it was the captain’s birthday. There was a confetti cake with rainbow frosting and white sprinkles and the party favors were huge bags of toys and fancy chocolates.

At the bottom was a dictionary with a note that said, “Bring home the trophy for the good old US of A. Captain Lenora White.” This dictionary was huge, many more words than her beat up old one. Taylor loved it. Taylor flipped to the middle and pointed to the word crustaceans. C-r-u-s-t-a-c-e-a-n-s. Hyacinth. H-y-a-c-i-n-t-h. Taylor always thought everyone should know the beauty of words.

When they arrived in Sydney, Taylor and her mom took a cab to their hotel. Once there, Taylor’s mom quizzed her with words from the new dictionary.

“Disconcerting!”

Taylor thought for a moment before saying, “D-i-s-c-o-n-c-e-r-t-i-n-g.” Taylor clapped her hands.

“Triumphant!”

Taylor immediately answered, “T-r-i-u-m-p-h-a-n-t.”

Taylor’s mom thought for a moment before saying, “Nonchalant.”

Taylor quickly said, “N-o-n-c-h-a-l-a-n-t!”

Taylor’s mom paused for effect, “Last but not least… unforeseen!” Taylor memorized this word in the cab on the way to their hotel.

“U-n-f-o-r-e-s-e-e-n.”

The next day the Bee began. Taylor’s mom tugged her curly brown hair into pigtails with pink ribbons. Taylor pulled on the pink lace dress she brought, the white tights, and pink sneakers. Taylor took her dictionary and she practiced the word demonstrations. D-e-m-o-n-s-t-r-a-t-i-o-n-s. Then mystery. M-y-s-t-e-r-y. And so on. Right before they left for breakfast, Taylor did the word duplicate. D-u-p-l-i-c-a-t-e.

Taylor sat next to a girl with red hair and green eyes wearing a pink sweater and pink jeans.

“Hi I’m Joanna Kelley. Nice to meet you. This is my sister Amelia Kelley. We’re from England.” Amelia smiled.

“I’m Taylor Chris. Nice to meet you too.”

Amelia asked if the girls wanted to quiz each other. Joanna volunteered her dictionary. Taylor got quizzed on malicious, m-a-l-i-c-i-o-u-s, empty, e-m-p-t-y, and harmonious, h-a-r-m-o-n-i-o-u-s. Joanna got quizzed on trivial, t-r-i-v-i-a-l, classic, c-l-a-s-s-i-c, and charisma, c-h-a-r-i-s-m-a. Amelia got quizzed on marvelous, m-a-r-v-e-l-o-u-s, unruly, u-n-r-u-l-y, and admiration, a-d-m-i-r-a-t-i-o-n.

Soon the Bee started. Maria Spindle called a girl named Karen Lee up first.

“Karen Lee, your word is devotee. Please spell devotee.”

Karen said nervously. “D-e-v-o-t-e-y, devotee.” Taylor sucked in her breath and she knew that was the wrong spelling.

Maria Spindle grimaced. “I’m sorry Karen, but that is the incorrect answer. Devotee is spelled d-e-v-o-t-e-e. You may exit through the double doors.” Maria plastered a smile on her face and said, “Next up… Taylor Chris. Taylor, your word is triskaidekaphobia.”

Taylor sighed in relief. She knew this word. “T-r-i-s-k-a-i-d-e-k-a-p-h-o-b-i-a, triskaidekaphobia.”

Maria beamed. “That is correct Taylor! You’ll be moving onto the next round.” After she went, Taylor didn’t really pay a lot of attention to the other people. The last person to go was a girl named Justine Fleur from Paris. Justine got the word sapphire, s-a-p-p-h-i-r-e. She got it incorrect. She spelled it with only one p.

After the Bee, there was a banquet for lunch. There was roast chicken, steamed broccoli, vegetable quinoa, and boiled peppers. Taylor didn’t eat much. She was too nervous about the Bee tomorrow.

After the banquet, Taylor repacked her things. At 6:00 pm, Taylor and her mom left for London. When they arrived in London, Taylor and her mother were escorted to a fancy motel. The man at the front desk gave them the key to room 5 on floor 1. Taylor picked out a pair of faux leather leggings and a blue button down shirt for her outfit for the bee. As Taylor brushed her teeth, she mentally quizzed herself on: horrible, h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e; gangly, g-a-n-g-l-y; pneumatic, p-n-e-u-m-a-t-i-c; and conundrum, c-o-n-u-n-d-r-u-m. All done, she thought.

That night she had nightmares about words, shouting unpleasant things. She woke up quickly and tip-toed out of her bed. She went to the dresser and looked at the clock. It was only 2:00 am. Rats. She went back to her bed and eventually fell into a fitful sleep.

The next morning Taylor dressed into the outfit she picked out the night before, and just pulled back her hair with a headband. Taylor’s mom was still sleeping and Taylor didn’t want to wake her so she just went to breakfast quietly. At breakfast, Taylor got two chocolate glazed donuts and sat down next to a boy wearing jeans and a tee shirt.

“Hi,” Taylor simply said.

“Hi,” said the boy, taking another bite out of his scrambled eggs. The boy tried to comb his shaggy red hair, but it didn’t work. He just waited, and waited.

“So are you waiting for something?” asked Taylor.

“Yeah, my grandad.”

This is awkward, thought Taylor. “I’m Taylor,” she said, holding out her hand.

“Uh, hi, I’m Mason. Okay, so are you here for the spelling bee? I am.” Taylor just moved away from the boy whose name was Mason.

Mason shook his head. “I came on too strong again didn’t I? I do that a lot, sorry!”

Taylor grabbed her plate and moved to a different table.

At 4:00, the Bee started. First they called up the boy Mason.

“Mason Kall, your word is superstition,” announced Maria Spindle.

Mason said, “S-u-p-e-r-s-t-i-t-i-o-n, superstition.”

Maria Spindle did not look that impressed. “Alright, Mason, that is correct. You’ll be moving on.” Taylor had a feeling Maria Spindle found Mason as annoying as she did. 

“Next… Lisa Wu! Your word is desolate.” Lisa got desolate incorrect, then was Louie Martino who got sriracha incorrect, then Georgie Smith who got necessary correct, and Lila Jane Parks who got international correct. Then it was Taylor’s turn.

“Taylor Chris, come on down. Your word is astonished.”

Taylor thought for five seconds. “A-s-t-o-n-i-s-h-e-d, astonished.”

Maria Spindle put on a wide toothy grin and looked straight at the camera, “Correct Taylor! You may sit down at your seat.” Taylor walked back to her seat meekly, when she saw a beefy kid snarl at her.

“Karlo Yang, your word is finance.” The beefy kid walked up.

“F-y-n-a-n-s-e, finance,” the beefy kid said proudly.

Maria Spindle winced. “I’m sorry Karlo, that is incorrect.” 

Veins bulging, eyes bugging out, hands ready to smash some bones, Karlo screamed, “What!” He smashed the podium. Maria stood at his feet and pounded against the hardwood stage.

As even beefier security guards held him back, Karlo screeched, “Lemme at ‘er! Give me Maria Spindle!!! I know I got finance right! You just want me to lose my cool on international TV! Well it will not work!” 

Karlo took one look at the mess he made and fell to his knees sobbing about forgiveness. The beefy security guards hauled Karlo away.

“Well… that was interesting. Next is Mick Torrent. Mick, your word is silhouette.” About a dozen more kids went but Taylor just couldn’t stop thinking about Karlo, the way his eyes bugged and how he fell to his knees sobbing. It made Taylor think about reality, or whether they were all just pawns in somebody else’s imagination. The thought made Taylor shudder. S-h-u-d-d-e-r. When she was nervous she spelled. Ugh. U-g-h. It’s happening again. A-g-a-i-n. Taylor remembered her mom’s sweet voice, and how when it was time for bed, her mom would bring her a glass of milk and sing her a lullaby when she was younger. She thought about how they played double dutch, and checkers, and monopoly. She thought about snuggling together on the couch when Spelling Bee Champ was on and just spotting clouds that looked like bunnies, and lying together on the sun dried grass. These happy memories calmed Taylor down. When they exited the stage, Taylor’s knees wobbled, but this time not with nerves. Excitement.

At lunch, Taylor found out why Mason bugged Maria. Listen: “Maria Maria Maria Maria! Am I winning? AmIwinning? Am I? Am I? Am I? Am I?!”

Maria sighed. “Look! Mason I cannot tell you,” Maria said slowly.

Mason just frowned. “Not fair! Not fair! Not fair!” he screeched.

“Security!” Maria cried.

Taylor grabbed a red velvet cupcake, a confetti cupcake, and a chocolate fudge cupcake, with a side of Milky Ways, Kit Kats, and M&Ms for lunch. Taylor took the goodies to the room she shared with her mom. Tomorrow was the final challenge. Whoever got three words in a row won!

The next morning, Taylor went up last. Everyone else only got two words in a row correct. 

Taylor’s first word was skulduggery. S-k-u-l-d-u-g-g-e-r-y. She got it correct. Then burglar. B-u-r-g-l-a-r. Correct. Last, modicum. M-o-d-i-c-u-m. She got them all correct. 

“Jacklin, tell Taylor what she’s won!” Maria shouted to a woman in a red sequined leotard, with bright red lipstick, black tights, and red, six inch heels.

“Well Taylor, you’ve won ten free trips to Disney World, 250 million dollars, and a 40 million dollar gift card to every bookstore in the world!” Jacklin said. “Plus…” the crowd murmured about how much more Taylor’d win, “your own private plane, which includes a coupon for the next 10 repairs, 4 bedrooms that have their own bathrooms, 2 kitchens, 3 TVs, 2 dining rooms, and 2 TV rooms.”

Taylor’s jaw literally fell open.

A lady that looked like Mason climbed onto the stage and said, “My Mason should’ve won!”

Mason looked embarrassed. “Mother.” Security guards started pulling her back.

“He should’ve won!” she screamed.

“Well that was odd,” said Jacklin.

May something, 2075

Dear Diary,

This is the most stupid thing I did in my life. I mean who writes in a diary these days? My stupid wife told me to write in one so I can get my thoughts on paper. Do you think I care about that? If you said no, then congratulations, you’re right. I’m Bob. I have a few things that I need to tell you about me. First, I have eight sons. Second, I’m drunk and, instead of water, I drink vodka. But really think about it. Who drinks water anymore? It’s either beer or vodka. Third, I am 50 years old. Also I’ve had five wives and I’m obese. Oh and lastly, I smoke a lot.

My wife tells me to eat healthier so I don’t get sick. I don’t get sick so I guess I eat healthy. I eat McDonald’s and Burger King. If my wife makes me eat healthy then I eat corn with a lot of salt (otherwise it’s not OK) or I eat a rainbow bagel with loads of nutella (no lots of nutella, not good).

May something, 2075

Dear Diary,

It’s morning and my wife gave me some yogurt with honey. I was like, “Who eats that?” So instead, I took fruit loops and chocolate milk. Unfortunately, she caught me and threw it away. I started screaming like a maniac because that was the last bowl of fruit loops left. I took the honnynut cereal off the shelf and poured it into the salad bowl which is used for cereal not salad because salad is unhealthy, I think. Please tell me I’m right.

Anyway, my wife said we have to go outside to breath some “fresh” air. Ugh. So, I decided that I’d go to the deli and buy myself some airheads. At least I’m walking a bit. I got there and guess what happened. They were sold out. You’re asking why. Well, I bought them all yesterday. But then I looked to the side and guess what I saw. Cheetos. My friend Jimmy loves them so I’m gonna try it. BRB.

June something, 2075

Dear Diary,  

I’m back at home watching tv and writing in this stupid thing, and guess what’s for dinner. My favorite, not. A burger with lettuce and tomato. Why eat that when you could get a Big Mac at McDonalds for a buck or a really juicy burger from Burger King. That would be much better than whatever burger that cost $18.99.

In case you were wondering, I work at the worst place ever. A buffet with, you guessed it, salads and omelets and, the worst of all, salads. Wait, did I already say that? I think I did. Right. Or did I just think it? You know that feeling when you think you say something and you’re not sure if you actually did? Or did you? Because you could have just thought it or said it. Y’know.

Anyway, so about my job. Well, it sucks. I could’ve gotten a better job and I’d rather get assassinated. I stand at the register being like, “Hey, want to sit at this buffet that is so disgusting you will get food poisining.” It’s more than a nightmare.

June something, 2075

Dear Diary,

I’m going to the gym to get some exercise. And I think that what I’m doing right now is really smart because I always see these ads on youtube that are explaining that to stay healthy, you need to exercise. So I’m gonna try it. My wife was proud and I don’t care. I’m there and I see all these weird things that somehow help you stay healthy. There is the conveyer belt thingy that I see a lot in the buffet stocking area. It brings the food and tins to the kitchen to wash. I wonder what you do with it. I’m going to the info desk to check what it’s for.

So I asked this man what the stuff is for and he started out like this:“I see you’re new here.”

How does he know that I’m new? I never even met him before. He was the skinniest person I ever saw in my life and he is a stalker. I’m gonna call him Stalker Dude. Why not? I mean, he is a stalker. I wonder what being a stalker is like. You get to spy on people. Oh, and in case you’re wondering I’m writing in a really uncomfortable position. I’m on the treadmill (I figured out what it was called) rolling off over and over again. It’s annoying.

Next, I went to the peloton (I only know what that is called from youtube). That stalker dude came and told me how to use it. So I’m sitting on it and it was supposed to help me burn calories, but I don’t think that it’s working really well. Lastly, I went to the dumbbells and I have no idea how those stick men lift them. Stalker Dude came and told me how to use it like I have no idea how. Ill need to put this diary down and lift some stuff.

So, now I’m in an ambulance. You’re asking why. Well, I dropped the dumbbell on my ribcage and I broke it. It was 50 lbs. I have to rest now so I’m gonna write tomorrow.

June something, 2075

Dear Diary, 

I forgot to tell my boss that I’m in the hospital so he called me and threatened that if I don’t come to work then he will rob me and take away Youtube premium. I was raging. No, he is not taking away Youtube premium from me. Youtube is also a part of my life. I cannot live without Youtube and especially not Youtube premium. My rage though. I was just furious. Even all the people that needed surgery who got put to sleep woke up. I was also supposed to be sleeping, but who cares. The doctor said I’ll have to be in the hospital for another month or so, until my rib cage heals, but they said that I have to rest if I want it healed. I guess I do. I mean, who wants to spend a year in bed doing nothing, but sleeping with a bunch of almost dead people?

June something, 2075

Dear Diary, 

So the doctor checked in with me and said my treatment wasn’t working. That sucks. And you know why it didn’t work? Because I was watching youtube to spend my last hours of happiness on Youtube premium. I told my doctor what my boss said and you know what he said? Good for you. Who says that? He’s lame. I’m gonna call him Lame Dude. So, Lame Dude came in and told me to breathe deeply. I don’t know why though. He said it was because he needs to see if my heart is working properly. I was thinking about that and it came to me that what he said meant I could die. And when you die, no Youtube premium! So, I guess this is my life now (that is soon ending).

I don’t know what to do now because, unfortunately, Lame Dude took away all devices and said, “If you keep watching Youtube or playing video games then you might die.” That made me scared so it was the first time in my life that I let someone take away my devices. But still, I’m not so sure I can trust lame dude because he’s lame!! Lol.

June 6, 2075

Dear Diary, 

Lame dude came in and told me that he will start the surgery. I was surprised. He never told me about a surgery. Just then, he pushed something into my leg and I fell asleep. No idea how it happened, but it did. So guess what. Now I need surgery and Lame Dude put me to sleep in like a second. Sounds weird, don’t you think? Ok, now I’m struggling and suffering. I will end now. I will not be writing until, like, next month. Going to the gym was a very bad idea. Very bad idea.

Dear Diary,

I am out of the hospital! In case you want to know, it’s been a month since I wrote here. I actually thought of giving up, but nope. My wife forced me to keep going and this time, no exceptions. Ugh. Why does my life suck?

June 27, 2075

Dear Diary, 

It’s the next day and now I’m getting really frustrated. I forgot to give my boss a note about why I was away and he didn’t believe me when I said my story. He said I was a liar and by liar I mean big fat liar. That’s supposed to be quoted but who has time for quotation marks and grammar? Grammar is stupid. It just takes up a lot of time and even if you don’t use it everyone can understand you. For example, if you text someone R U OK, they will understand it. Anyway, I am going to work now and I have to stop, bye!

 June something, 2075

Dear Diary, 

When I came in, I noticed that the register was covered in tomato sauce. I checked inside and there was no money! Just then, my boss came in and noticed me with the register open and then he barked, What are you doing with our money!!! This is unexceptable!!! Again I do not care about quotes.

So, if you are reading this, which you shouldn’t, don’t comment on any mistakes I make. It’s already a pain in the butt to just write this.

I told my boss that I was just waiting for the first customer to come when I realized that the money was gone. He didn’t believe me so he told me he would go to my house and search all of it for the money. One thing I can say is he’s a dum dum.

In the meantime, I will just serve the customers that come and pretend like nothing happened. I feel bad for them. The only problem for my boss is that he doesn’t know where I live and I live all the way in the Bronx and the buffet is in Brighton beach. I really don’t know how I get here every week day.

Anyway, the buffet isn’t so popular so I had to wait a whole hour for the first customer of the day to come. It was already 12 pm. We open at 10. Something that is really weird about this buffet is that we pre-set everything the night before so we won’t have to do it in the morning And because it also is supposed to save time. Heh, like we need to save time.

June something, 2075

Dear Diary,

So the first customer came and I gave them a table to sit at. They were mad because I gave them the table near the bathroom when everything else was free. I can see that on their faces that they were mad. We don’t have enough money to buy a janitor so the bathrooms stink. I’d rather go to McDonalds to go to the bathroom.

So anyway, the customers went up to get their plates and to get the food. We have a chef that makes custom food and everyone goes up to him. The customers noticed that and quickly ran up to him and asked for something. Don’t ask me what because I don’t know what they asked for. So the chef started working and gave me a wink. You are asking why. Well, you shouldn’t even be asking this question because you shouldn’t be even looking at this diary! I mean I don’t even care. Not like my personal stuff is in here, but still close this right now. Or, if you are snoopy, don’t and keep reading. If you are still reading this then it is obvious that means that you are snoopy and guess what? I don’t care.

Anyway, what was I talking about? Oh right! The chef giving me a wink and you asking why. Well, we were childhood friends and we were trouble. What I mean by trouble is big trouble. We were pranksters. I remember when we were 5 (or was it 6? Or 10? I don’t know) we put dead rats in the jars of candy at his grandmother’s house. It was a great experience to see her faint. I know what you are thinking. Why is there so much dark humor? Well, again, you shouldn’t be thinking that because you shouldn’t have read what I wrote before. Again, not like I wrote anything personal here but still! So I’m guessing that he is pulling another one of his chef pranks like putting sugar instead of salt on sushi. The customers are heading to their seats to wait for the food when the second customer comes in. I give them the table closest to the second bathroom. The second bathroom is even more stinky because everyone forgets about it. About two people enter it each day. The other bathroom however, I don’t even know.

I started spying on the first customers again. The first bite of the meal and the ladies tongue stuck out. The food was gross. I quickly went over to the chef to see what he did.

What did you do?

Again I have no time for quotes. Anyway, he said that the woman of the couple ordered bread. Turns out that the chef had used his last batch of ground up cricket flour and made it into cricket bread. Then the man of the couple ordered chocolate chip cookies and the chef made chocolate chirp cookies which have crickets in them. He made the crickets not visible in the cookie so when you took a bite there were crickets inside. Their butts were sticking out and eventually into your mouth. Unless you aren’t respectful to bugs and don’t get how nutritious they are and decide that you are not eating them.

Anyway, I see that the second set of customers are going up to get cole slaw. I mean, why cole slaw? Why? It is like the most expensive item on the menu. The coleslaw is supposed to have fresh grown cabbage that is not organic. We have a garden, but nobody ever goes in because it is filled with clouds of pesticides. Ya, the gardener quit his job. Hm, that gets me thinking. I can quit this job, but then what if I don’t get another job and I’ll be homeless? And I won’t be able to pay for… Youtube Premium!!! You know what? I’m better with sticking to this job before deciding to quit. Especially because I’m getting a dog soon. It will be the biggest moment in my life. Only maybe after when I divorced my least favorite wife, which is my fourth! She was the meanest person on Earth!!! She made me eat salad! Like, why salad?! I can’t even hear the word salad, it sounds so gross!!! OK let’s change the subject. Nevermind, next customer.

I gave these customers a seat right next to the corner where everyone pukes because our food is so gross. It always stinks there and there are stains on the floor. I had to go to the bathroom so I went across the street to McDonald’s. Such a disappointment when you work in the worst restaurant and then across the street you look over and you see the best restaurant. The fourth customer came in and this time they were single. It was a woman that had long black hair. She had a dog at her side. I ran up and started petting it. I think it was a siberian husky puppy. It was jumping on me just like any playful puppy would, when I noticed that the puppy was in here because the person wanted to eat, not because the puppy wanted to see me. Again, I feel like I’m starting to go through a phase of depression. I’m going to start looking for a better job. The job I’m looking for is a job that I will get tons of money from. I want to get a job that is not torture like this one. Hopefully, one day that will happen. Anyway, I need to give the customer a seat. I gave her the seat next to the custom food chef. Lol. I don’t feel like writing anymore so I’m going to just end it here. See you tomorrow, Diary. Or should I say stupid Diary. 

July something 4th, 2026

Dear Diary,

It is another day of work and I am not happy. It is Tuesday, which is my least favorite day of the week. That is the day when the restaurant is empty and I don’t get paid as much. So I guess I can come a bit late. I am right now getting off the stop on the train and now walking down the block. I see a group of people standing behind a couple and then they are standing behind someone. The only problem was that they were angry. Their eyebrows were pointed down and according to a Youtube video I watched, scrunched eyebrows meant anger. I didn’t know why, so I went up to the entrance of the restaurant when I saw the customers waiting in line to go in. Uuuh. This was strange. Whatever. I opened the restaurant up and all the tables were filled.

That is when the last customer told me in an angry voice, “Great way to start off a holiday.” I guess he was being sarcastic but wait, what holiday? I asked him and he told me and said that it was the 4th of July. I almost started crying. 4th of July is my favorite holiday of the year and I missed it all. I didn’t even check the date.

Like I even ever check the date. About twenty people everyday ask me the date and I’m like, “How would I know?” It’s very annoying. I can’t even imagine those poor kids having to put the date on every little thing of school work. Now, I’m too scared that the customers are going to leave because of the bad service and writing isn’t really going to help with this so ya, bye.

July something, 2075

Dear Diary, 

So it is the next day and I am taking a day off from work. Work has been really tiring the last few days, so I’m staying home and relaxing, aka watching Youtube and eating Pringles on the couch. I always take a day off of work because once a week my boss goes to a place with no reception so he can’t tell me to go to work or whatever. That day is usually on Wednesdays, like today. But what is funny is that he pays me the same amount as the workers that work there for six days a week. Lol. Wait, I have a call from someone, just a sec. No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I am dead!

The call was from my boss. He had called telling me that he was mad that I wasn’t at work! No, no, no, no, no, no, no! I thought that he was in a place with no reception. He wasn’t! He was in the building where the restaurant is and he noticed that I wasn’t there. I am doomed. He knows where I was all these weeks because he secretly installed an app on my phone that let him see where I was the whole time. I know this because I was looking frantically on my phone for something and I came across a calculator app. Um, why is there a calculator app on my phone? I thought I got rid of math from my life. I opened the app and it wasn’t a calculator (thank god), but as I guessed it was a tracker. My boss was tracking me since the hospital. How did he download it though? I’m not even going to answer that. I’m just going to delete the app and he won’t be able to download it again because my phone is going to be on me the whole time. I’m still not going to work. I’m just going to pretend that I’m sick and tell my boss that. One second. I don’t want to write anymore. I’m depressed again. Maybe I can get away with not writing anymore for a bit. I want to go to the hospital again so I won’t have to go to work or write in this diary again. But the only problem is that I won’t have any Youtube videos to watch because of what my doctor said last time I broke my rib cage. I really want some type of excuse so I can get out of the stupid Earth and into my world, which is a place where everyone agrees with me and there is only the food I like to eat. A world where I can do whatever and won’t have to pay for anything. I will have Youtube Premium for free!!!! That would be great. Ok, so this is getting boring to write now so ya, bye. 

July something, 2075

Dear Diary, 

Now Thursday. I really don’t like Thursdays. Well, to be honest, I don’t like any days of the week except Saturdays and Sundays. All the days at work are boring. It really is time to get a better job. Well, not necessarily a more money job, but a job that is more fun than the trash place where I work at. It literally smells like animal poop. Well, at least I think it does. I don’t really know how animal poop smells. Like, I just think that it smells like someone’s poop that ate beans in their last meal. Hopefully, my prediction is correct. Well, I don’t want it to be correct because if animal poop smells like that then that is just disgusting. This topic is very disturbing and makes me cringe just thinking about it. I’m just really tired of this job now. I’m going across the street to use the bathroom and eat some lunch. If you are wondering, across the street means McDonald’s. I’m going to ask if they have any free spots to work there. Be right back.

Ok, so I’m back and good news! Finally something good! I am going to work at McDonald’s now! I am really happy because I actually get to work in a place where life would be good. I get good food and a clean bathroom. I really hope that I will get enough money from this. I will go to my boss and quit now. I hope that my friend won’t care that I have left him at hell. I will text my boss saying that I quit and I will start working at my second favorite restaurant ever. In case you were wondering, my favorite is Burger King and my third favorite is Dunkin Donuts. Is Dunkin Donuts even a restaurant? If not, then KFC is my third favorite. I’m really tired now so I’m going to stop writing. 

July something, 2075

Dear Diary,

I am now writing this because I am going to try the gym again. My wife is proud of me that I tried again. My goal this time is to get a concussion.

So, I am on the way there. I am hoping that the stalker dude won’t be there. Ok, so I am entering the doors to the gym and there is a different person at the help center. He asks if I need any help. I ask him why would I need any help and he says because I look new. I tell him that I am not new. Then, I start to get annoyed because both help people thought I was new at the gym. Ok, maybe the first was right, but still! I am going to lift a one-pound weight and hope that that won’t break my rib cage. Ok, that was pretty light and now I don’t know how that helps with losing your weight. Now I’m going to the peloton. The peloton is actually pretty fun. I was on it for about twenty minutes. Then I went to the treadmill. I put it on one mile an hour. It isn’t really going so fast but I like it. It reminds me of one of those slides that I used to use when I was a boy. I still don’t get how this lets you lose weight. I am just sliding off the platform. This is boring. Anyway, I’m going to come back here later to go on the peloton more. I’m going to go get some lunch at Burger King and then go to my favorite candy shop, Candytopia, to get some Nerds. I am on the walk there and at a crosswalk, so I should stop writing for now.

Okay, so that was a successful cross. Anyway, I am almost at Burger King so now I am thinking of what to get. I do want a big burger with cheese, bacon, and french fries. That is my usual order though. Then, I will take a large Fanta out of the fridge. I went to my usual table right near the kitchen so I can smell all the good stuff being cooked. The cashier called my name and I went up to get my food. I sat down at the table and began to eat. I don’t want to keep writing while I eat, so I will come back later.

I had my usual order and it was delicious. It was all juicy and chewy, my favorite consistency of a burger. The drink was really fizzy and sweet. I love when my soda tastes like that. I mean, it kind of always tastes like that, so there is nothing special about it. But you know, whatever. I am heading out to go back to the gym. I want to go on the peloton more. It feels relaxing. I don’t really remember where the gym is though. Is it to the right or left? Maybe it’s to the front? I don’t know, but I’m going to figure it out. I might have gone into the subway before and I think that that is right, but you know, it could not be. I am around 70% sure that I went to the subway to the gym. I am going to take the 7 train and hope that the train will take me there. I am not going to write in the subway because it is embarrassing, so I will come back later.

I am out of the train and looking around. I have never been here before. I don’t think that this is where the gym is because apparently this place I am in now is called Williamsburg. That is a strange name for a neighborhood. Is it named after a person named William that ate a burger here? I don’t know and I don’t care. I am going back to the subway to go back to where I was. Let’s see, I went in the L train and got off at the last stop which was… I don’t know. Somehow, from there I need to get back to Burger King and from Burger King somehow get to the gym. I am going to stop writing because I am going to be in the subway now. When I come out, I will write again.

Okay, so now I am out of the subway and writing again. I am so confused now. I don’t see any Burger King or gym. This is really weird. I thought that I got off at the right stop. I know I did. I remember this station and I know for sure that I got off here. Did I go straight to here? I think I did, so let’s try to get there. Ok, so now I am walking to who knows where and hopefully getting to Burger Ling. Now that I think about it, saying and writing Burger Ling so many times makes me hungry again. I need my order. I’m craving it right now. I need my large fries and double burger with bacon and cheese. Wait, I just remembered! I wanted to go to Candytopia! How did I not remember this? I am going to get another order from Burger King and then go to Candytopia to get some Nerds. Why are they called Nerds? You know what? I do not care what they are called and I never will. But something I do care about is how good Nerds are. They are really good and come in many different flavours. I can write you a ten page essay on why they are good, but guess what? Yay! You are correct! I will not write an essay because I need to get my food. I am dying from hunger and nobody can stop me. I need to get to Burger King and eat my usual order!!! It is the only thing that will make me live a good life, even though my life is already bad. Wait, is this what I’m seeing? It’s the gym! Why haven’t I seen this before? I am really pissed off right now. I walked right past it on the way to the subway! You know? I really don’t care about anything right now. I want to go eat!!! Has anyone died from being hungry? I think so. So, where is Burger King?! I thought that it was supposed to be right here. Why is there a sign on the door? You know what? I’m not even gonna try to read it. The lettering is too small, anyway. I am going into Burger King and getting my usual order. The door is locked!!! What is wrong with this place? How can they be closed at a time like this? It is literally 7pm! Oh, um. That took me a long time to get back. Well, looks like I am going home!

July something, 2075

Dear Diary,

So I am back! Yay! No! Hmph. I am going to try to go to the gym and actually get on the peloton again. Hopefully, it’s not very crowded. Pelatons are usually everyone’s favorite thing, which kinda sucks. I am headed to the gym and a second ago I realized I can use Google Maps to help me get there. I am so dumb. Actually, I am the smartest. Only that incident was dumb. I mean, that incident was not dumb. It was just incorrect. Whatever. I am following the GPS and it says that I should be at the gym in a minute, which I am partially happy about. I am happy that I will get in the peloton, but I am not happy about being at the gym in general. I’d rather go get nerds. Wait, I just forgot, I was gonna go to the candy shop. I’m going to go there now and go to the gym later. I search up the candy shop on Google Maps and start walking. It isn’t too far away. It took me a half an hour to get there! Whatever. OK, I will go to the 5th aisle. Wait no, 1st aisle, no, 3rd aisle. Wait no, the Nerds are in the 6th aisle. Ok, I’m starting to get dizzy from all that walking and looking at candy.

I’m breathing hard. I don’t think I have asthma. Or do I? Whatever. I’m walking through the aisles to see if there are any new flavours of Nerds. Everything is the same. I am just walking, getting five packs of each flavour, but still no new OMG, there is a new flavour!! Not of Nerds though. It’s a new flavour of Hershey chocolate. Hershey chocolate is my 3rd favorite candy. After Nerds and Airheads. Anyway. Is it annoying I keep saying anyway? If it is I‘m sorry, but I don’t care so, ya know, deal with it. I don’t even want to write in this so don’t give me a hard time. Anyway, I bought my stuff and went to the gym. On the way there, I was eating my candy. It was a great taste. I got all the flavours of Nerds, all flavours of Airheads, wait—I didn’t even eat the Airheads I bought at the deli before. Whatever. Now for the new flavour of Hershey. Why is there no taste? I thought it was supposed to be a really good flavour. Let me guess, they made so many flavours they decided to make it flavourless. I hope not. Ok, what!? The packaging says extra sweet with enriched flavour!!! Those pathological liars!! I’ll eat the Airheads now because the Hershey bar ruined my day. Finally something actually good!

Wait a second, this has no taste too!!! What is up with this candy? I am going home!!! I got home faster than I thought I would, probably because I was running. It is hard for me to breathe and my wife is concerned. I don’t see why though. We are on the way to the hospital now. Ugh, it’s taking so long and I don’t even need to go there. I am fine. Anyway, I will stop writing because I am literally raging again.

Ok so, we just got to the doctors in the hospital and now I am being tested for this disease that apparently killed a lot of people in 2020. It was a global pandemic. Now, don’t ask me what that means because I don’t know. Anyway I feel weaker right now so I will stop writing and update you tomorrow.

August 2nd, 2075

Dear Diary,

Anyway, now I am in the hospital diagnosed with something called corona. My doctor said there is a low chance that I will survive. Well, it’s not like I care. At least my eight sons will think the same. My wife took pity on me and said that this could be my last diary entry and I should spend my last few months well. I am surprisingly not sad because I do get to spend my last few months of life watching Youtube and stuff. They tried to give me medicine, but it didn’t work. Anyway, I guess all I can say is bye. So, bye, hope you all are not like me and make sure to not get uh, what’s it called? Something with a c. Co, co—oh ya, Corona.

The Saber Tooth Tiger was walking in the jungle and he saw a red door. He knocked on it and Superman and Supergirl opened the door. They had laser eyes, they could fly, they could run really fast, and they were super strong. They wanted to adopt the Saber Tooth Tiger as a pet. The Saber Tooth Tiger said yes! He was going to be a super pet! As a super pet, he could save the world. He had super powers and laser eyes. He could fly and was super strong. He had a cape and was called Super Saber Tooth Tiger.  

One day Superman, Supergirl and Saber Tooth Tiger got captured. 

“ROAR!” said Saber Tooth Tiger. 

“It’s okay Super Saber Tooth Tiger,” they said.

Superman and Supergirl were going to use their laser eyes and sneak out, but there was a guard. Saber Tooth Tiger distracted him. Then Superman and Supergirl snuck out of prison and Saber Tooth Tiger left and followed them 

“Come on, hurry up,” Superman said. “Back to the hideout okay?” 

Before they got to the hideout, Supergirl said “Can we adopt that bird over there?”

They did not know that the bird was from the prison, but they were going to find out soon. The bird had a camera. A few weeks later the bird captured Saber Tooth Tiger but not Superman and Supergirl. He brought him to the prison and locked him up.

“ROAR!” said Saber Tooth Tiger. 

Superman and Supergirl snuck in and unlocked the cage.

“Come on Saber Tooth Tiger,” they said. 

They flew out of there, but the bird saw them and went after them.

Superman shut the windows and doors of the prison. Then they ran, but when they got back they could not find the hideout. They tried to find the hideout, but the people from the prison turned it invisible, so they walked right past it. There was an invisible cage that they didn’t know was right above them, so they were captured again. They went to another prison this time because it was someone else that captured them. All three of them used their laser eyes and they punched their way out of there. When they got out, the hideout was not invisible anymore. They went back to the hideout and locked it. They were safe.

Both of the prisons were having a battle to try and capture Superman, Supergirl, and Super Saber Tooth Tiger, but neither of them did. 

The End

Chapter One:

The Battle between GSS and S.E.W.W.F.T.C.R.H

HS went to Egypt and to find the SPHYNX. But before he found the SPHYNX, he found Gus and S.E.W.W.F.T.C.R.H. battling. And then GSS and S.E.W.W.F.T.C.R.H made HS get into battle. They put a force field around him and then GSS and S.E.W.W.F.T.C.R.H used the power of hieroglyphics to defeat him. And then he found the SPHYNX’s magical power teleported him to Madagascar, closer to his destination.

Chapter 2: Robot Spiders

HS went to Madagascar, and then found robot spiders. And then he battled with all the robot spiders, and he used his power of being legit and using the power of hieroglyphics. And then he defeated the robot spiders.

Chapter 3: I Don’t Know The Flea

He teleported himself to the Lost City of Atlantis! But then, he met up with I Don’t Know The Flea. Since that flea is 110,889 times bigger than a flea and he can jump 110,889 times farther and higher, but HS used the power of legit hieroglyphics and Sebas. 

Chapter 4: Legit Legit LeSplit

HS was still in the Lost City of Atlantis. But then he met up with Legit Legit LeSplit. So then they started battling. And the  Legit Legit LeSplit was splitted. And then it erupted like a volcano, and then it started chasing HS. But then, HS used the power of legit, and during the battle he found a little interesting friend named Lappy. And then he used the power of legit hieroglyphics Sebas and Lappy AND Legit Legit LeSplit. And then he defeated Legit Legit LeSplit. 

Chapter 5: Run Away From What?

HS accidentally teleported himself to the Australian Outback. And then all the animals said “RUN AWAY” And then he said “RUN AWAY FROM WHAT?” And then the animals said “RUN AWAY FROM WHAT.” And HS said “What?” And the animals said, “You said it! RUN AWAY FROM WHAT!” 

Chapter 6: Now I Know What to Run Away From

HS was still in the Australian Outback, but now he saw Run Away From What. And then they came together. And they became a team! 

Chapter 7: Entering the Falcon Fury

Run Away From What and Lappy and HS accidentally teleported themselves to the Falcon Fury. “Hey look, it’s Falcon Man and Dynamut.” And then they became a team, but they saw Scooby and Shaggy!!! And then they all became a team. 

Chapter 8: Just Seeing It

Run Away From What, Lappy, HS, Falcon Man, Dynamut, Scooby, and Shaggy teleported themselves to Where. And then Run Away From What HS, Falcon Man, Dynamut, Scooby, and Shaggy saw this giant nightmare character. And then it was coming after them. But then they realized they were stuck in quicksand. And then they realized that all of the greatest carnivores in the world were coming after them. Then they woke up. 

Chapter 9: Who’s This Dragon?

They accidentally teleported themselves to a mysterious place where no one knows what’s gonna happen the next second. And then they saw a dragon and then they said “Who’s that dragon?” DUN DUN DUNNNN! And then the dragon said “Who’s That Dragon.” But there is also an evil dragon behind all of them. And that dragon said “Who’s that dragon?” And also because that’s his name. And Who’s That Dragon went into the team. Everyone worked together to defeat the evil dragon!

Chapter 10: I Think I Found Snoopy!?

The gang (which is called The What No Next) said “I think I found Snoopy!?” And then, Snoopy became part of the gang. 

Chapter 11: (The What No Next) Disappears (or did it…)

The What No Next thought they disappeared because they didn’t see themselves. And they’re like “Oh! Where am I?!!! Oh! Where am I?!!! Oh! Where am I?!!! Oh! Where am I?!!!” 

Chapter 12: (The What No Next) Did Not Disappear

The gang felt everyone else but they didn’t see it because in front of them there was a mirage (a make yourself invisible mirage). And then they found out that it was just a mirage. 

Chapter 13: Entering the new dimension

HS found a new portal that was sucking them into a new dimension, which is the video game dimension!!! Because video games are awesome. It looks like all the characters are little blocks, like minecraft. They found something super crawsome (a mix between crazy and awesome). They found Captain Underpants!!!! And they also found crawsome again: George and Harold. And they found another crawsome thing! Three ultimate villains. Which they are… LaserLightmare! Poopocabra, and Socktopus! But then they realized they were good guys! And then Captain Underpants, George and Harold, LaserLightmare, Poopocabra, and Socktupus went into the team. 

Chapter 13.5: Entering a new dimension part II

They got sucked into another dimension! Which was the Dream Dimension! You can dream what you want in there.

Chapter 13.10: Entering a new time part III

They found another portal and it sucked them in and then they went through time.

Chapter 15 

The World of Yot Dogs 

HS teleportaled to the world of yot dogs. And then, all of the yot dogs became friends and all of the yot dogs became his food, but they are magical. And each one makes a power. He ate all the infinity yot dogs and each yot dog has a power, so he got infinity powers. HS had every single power in the world. 

Chapter 16 

The World of Cot Dogs 

HS accidentally teleportaled himself to the world of Cot Dogs. And they looked exactly like the yot dogs (from chapter 15). He ate all of them and they took away all of his powers. (He didn’t really know that he lost all of his powers.)

Chapter 17 

The World of Bot Dogs 

HS found a portal and then he was go for my life or don’t go for no life. And then he went in the portal. And then he found Bot Dogs. (They look exactly like the Cot Dogs and Yot Dogs from Chapter 15.) And then he ate all of them. And then HS got all his powers back.

Chapter 18

The horrible Hackensack of the horrible Hackensack

HS teleportaled himself to the horrible Hackensack of the horrible Hackensack. And then he found a horrible Hackensack of the Horrible Hackensack. And then they battled. And then the horrible Hackensack of the Horrible Hackensack did a punch in the H and then he lost his powers!

Chapter 18.1

HS to Bot Dog land

HS had one remaining power left for only one minute. He teleportaled himself to Bot Dog land. And then he ate all of the Bot Dogs there as fast as he could and then there was only three seconds and one Bot Dog left! And he tried to eat the Bot Dog as fast as he could. And then when he finished it and then only one millisecond was left! And then HS teleportaled himself back to where the horrible Hackensack of the horrible Hackensack was (HHHH). 

Chapter 18.2

HS returns…

HHHH couldn’t punch HS because HS put a closing forcefield with disintegrating spikes around him. And then, HHHH dies!

Chapter 19

Monopoly Man 

(and he has to get to the top of the castle to be able to get out of the Monopoly World)

(And he only has 2,500 Monopoly coins)

(And if he gets to 0 Monopoly coins, then he dies for the rest of his life!)

(and if he gets three doubles he also dies for the rest of his life!)

(If you roll a double you get a second turn)

HS didn’t realize the forcefield when HHHH died and gave him the same powers that HS had. And then HHHH made him teleportaled to Monopoly Man (with fancy music). And then Monopoly Man forced him to roll the dice and then he rolled the dice. He rolled a 6 and a 6. And then he landed on a hotel and the cost 100 Monopoly coins. (And now he only has 2,400 monopoly coins.)

He rolled another 6 and a 6 and then he gets 200 and more Monopoly coins. (And then he had 2,600 Monopoly Coins)

And then he rolled a 5 and a 6. And he got to the second level of the castle. And then he rolled another 6 and a 5. And then, now, he went to jail. And he paid111 Monopoly coins to get out of jail (and now HS has 2,489 Monopoly Coins) and then he rolled a 6 and a 5. And then he’s to the fourth level of the castle. And now he got a 6 and a 5. And then he got to the 5th level of the castle and now he went out of Monopoly World. 

A giant hieroglyphic keyboard, but luckily HS knew his hieroglyphics. And then he entered the code, which was 

And then it was on the fritz, and then disintegrated. And before it disintegrated, it exploded. But then, HS found someone named AS. There was HM (hieroglyphic monster), and then he battled and battled and battled and battled and battled and battled and battled and battled and battled (x 1000). And HS won. 

I am going swimming this weekend and it’s time to go. Underwater there are fish nibbling at my feet. It is very unpleasant, but I keep walking deeper and deeper into the sea. I see dolphins jumping and doing loops in the water. I see ripples in the water as they disappear in the distance. The fish are a turquoise-yellow with green scales. I try to run but I just bonk my head on the bottom of the ocean. The fish gets scared and swims away. The dolphins gently lift me on their backs and bring me to the dock. I get off and thank the dolphins. I eat lunch at the mini-bar. I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Then I go back to the sea. I call Beth the Dolphin and she comes. Beth gently swims out farther and farther into the sea. That is the end of my vacation. 

One Halloween, the ghosts were trick or treating. A boy saw them, and he scared them and they ran away. The ghosts stole their candy! They were stealing everybody’s candy. 

The kids were mad that their candy was stolen, because they had gone everywhere and had worked so hard to get it. They stole sour candies, chocolate candies, skittles, M&M’s, and regular candies like gummy sandwich candies. 

The ghosts flew up to their treehouse. There was no ladder, since they could fly, and there was no entrance, since they could just float through. The room on the top was where they kept the candy. It was their most secret room. 

The kids went on a long walk in the forest and they walked a long way until they found it. The kids came prepared. They had a truck and a ladder. They had an extra tall ladder and they put it at the top. The ghost house was protected. They pushed hard to get through, but the walls were so hard that they couldn’t get through. A big storm happened and the house blew down. The kids also found a cave. One day, the kids tried going in to get the candy, but they got kidnapped by the ghosts. They tried to hypnotize them so that they could find more candy, because the kids were really good at finding candy. It worked!

The ghosts woke up and they were trapped. But they couldn’t go through the wall, it was a ghost wall! The kids found the candy and then they stole the ghosts’ lair so no one could get in. The kids put extra protection. You even needed a code so that you could get in. They made another ghost wall over the ghost wall, and another one with ghost walls and ghost walls. They were trapped, so it would take them a while to get out. The ghosts hadn’t made any progress getting candy.

After the ghosts woke up from their sleep, the ghosts turned good. They became ghost heroes. They realized that if they were bad, they would starve to death and be stuck in this little room forever. So they screamed and somebody heard them. The person opened the door and another door. They finally opened up the wall and let the ghosts out. 

A few more ghosts came along. They chased after the ghosts and brought them to the ghost planet, where they are all ghosts. There were no ghost walls and no doors. Everything was for the ghosts. The ghosts were happy, and they had all the candy they wanted. (Ghost candy!) 

In the end, they were all happy, because they all had what they wanted and were not in battle. There were two big planets and they were like, “Yaahh!!!” 

This has been translated from Marshmallowian by The Institute of Marshmallow and English. Except from some parts with a * on either side of it.

One day, on Meatball Land, there was a big enormous explosion from the meatball volcano. On Meatball Land, everyone is a marshmallow and they only eat meatballs. On the day when the explosion happened, all of the tiny marsh-villages got covered completely in meatballs and tomato sauce. The marshmallows had to evacuate before all of the land got covered!!! They had to think of a way out. Maybe they could dig a tunnel to the unknown Cow Land. That’s how it all started.

Chapter Numero Uno

My name is Bart, Bart DeFulletgrominu van Grickenshpein. I am a Jumbo Marshmallow. I am the richest on all of Meatball Land! Right now, my loyal servants are digging a tunnel to Cow Land where only the greatest explorers have been. But now it’s different. It is an emergency for all of Marshmallowanity to evacuate the surface and go underground to where the cows live. It is a hard time for us marshmallows.

“Servants, dig dig dig. It’s going to blow soon. I don’t want to die. Do you? No – so get digging.”

Then suddenly I heard a big boom!! Could that be the volcano? I looked in the direction of where it came from. It was not the volcano! It was TNT. That gave me a good idea. Maybe we could use TNT!

“Servants, get the TNT. We’re gonna blow it!!!”

This turned out to be a bad idea. You will see why later.

My servants piled all of the TNT into the hole they made. From that hole they set a long piece of flammable rope with fire. When it exploded, something very bad happened: the volcano exploded too!! Just then I had forgotten about violation code #45627, which says that if you’re less than a mile away from the volcano, you can not use TNT. This is because it will explode into the meat caverns and will make the volcano erupt! I thought through this. After a little while, I realized that I was the one who made the Meatball Volcano explode!!!

I was astounded! I could not believe I had forgotten about violation code #45627 It was is the most important code in our area! 

*What will happen next in The Crazy Meatball Incident?!*

Chapter 2

Two days later…

I just escaped going to jail because of that TNT incident. I ran away from Meatball Land on a train, a car, my own feet, and a roller-coaster (the roller-coaster was actually kind of fun). Now I am pretending to be a poor marshmallow in the streets of the dreaded Beyond Meatball Land, which is 300 miles away from any real meat. But I am safe here. No real marshmallow would ever come here. That would be disgusting! Well, there are no more things to talk about. I will just go and beg for more moolah. 

Chapter 3

Twenty-four hours later…

Hello. 

I just saw a silver and white airplane fly over.  It had something that said “NASA” on it and it had an alien in a white jumper as the driver. I think it might be trying to—oh no I am floating through a green tunnel going to the NASA thing!

They greet me with a taser in my leg, but too bad for them, marshmallows can not be electrocuted.

They try to talk to me: “Hello, we have come to extract you.”

But I cannot understand what they are saying. I try to talk to them, but they cannot understand me! I have only heard of real aliens in fairy tales. But these aliens are much different. You see, they have fluff on the top of their heads and five sausages at the end of their hands.

Wait, I think, these are Humans!!! OMG, are they going to bring me to earth?

Ever since I first read about Humans, I have always wanted to go to Earth. It’s my dream planet! 

Chapter 4

Three days later… 

I am on Earth.

I am so excited.

I want to live here.

This is awesome!

I love this place. I wonder why they brought me here.

I don’t think I’ve said this yet but: this is awesome!

Have I said this is awesome?!

Wow, I really like this place as you can tell. I think I am becoming famous here! There are reporters everywhere and they are asking me questions I do not understand. Everyone is taking pictures of me and one of the kids is— eating a marshmallow! Holy moley! They do that here?! I hate Earth now! But I guess that is just one kid, so I love Earth now, again!

Well, that’s all I am going to share of my life (the rest is private), But it was a fun experience sharing it with you. So until then, adios!!!

What are you looking at? The story is over!

You’re still looking at this! 

You are still looking, now go and drink your coffee or go finish your life.

I stare up at the mountain, my legs ready to give out beneath me.

My ski coach announces, “I know this is challenging, but we’re going to try to ski down this easy green.” So far, my beginner ski group has only skied down the Magic Carpet. 

Glancing down at my feet, seemingly permanently stuck in a pizza shape, I tell my coach, “I think maybe I will be injured on that super steep trail.” 

My coach laughs. “It’s basically flat. You’ll be fine.” The basically flat trail looks like it is 90 degrees steep. My coach calmly skis to the lift, completely parallel and with poles in his hands. I keep peeking up at the mountain as I slide over to him and my group. Distracted, I trip over my own skis and sprawl on the ice. My face burns, and I jump up as fast as I can and jump on the lift. Soon, I regret doing that. I just hurried up the process of getting to the steep trail. Under my new, soft, warm mittens my hands tremble, and I am glad I don’t have ski poles, for I would have dropped them. The wind stings my face like evil grains of sand. I lean back on the ski lift, my heart pounding. But I soon realize that in doing that, I am making the lift go a mile a minute. It seems like a couple seconds when we come off the lift. 

As I look down the rugged terrain of the easy green, I wish I never came. As soon as I had turned 12, I should have given up hope of skiing. But no. I persisted and begged my parents to take me. My tired, busy parents. They had work, but they did bring me, and for what? I was in the little kids group, and I saw other kids my age, even younger, skiing down the mountain in a blur of color, their manageable skis skidding against the icy ground with a loud crunch. But…really, I’m still a kid, and it’s never too late to start stuff when you’re a kid.

I know I’m a kid, I think confidently. After all, I can still order from the kid’s menu at restaurants. So I can always improve! Even if I am three times the age of the other kids in my group and still not better than them, so what?

“We’re going down now.” My coach yells. 

I blurt out, more to myself than him, “I’m not afraid!” 

My coach gives me a weird look. “That’s – that’s great, Olivia!” Then he starts down the mountain. I clutch my legs, steadying them. I close my eyes and the pounding in my head stops.

 “I will get good – great – at this sport,” I whisper. I force my skis to turn parallel, and I fly down the mountain. “Yeahhh!” I cry. “I’m so fast!” But after scanning my surroundings, I realize that I’m the slowest person on the trail. Before I know it, I fall head over heels. My skis are teared off and my poles are wrested from my hands. I scream, then I realize that I am still, for I am on a flat part of the trail, called a catwalk. 

My coach bends down to help me. “Whoa, that was a big yard sale fall for a catwalk!” I’m so embarrassed. I will never get good at skiing. I trail behind as we ski to lunch.

A month ago

I hurried down our stairs, wriggling into my scratchy school sweater. I heard sounds of enthusiastic and loud talking in the dining room. “Mom, Dad-” They weren’t even at breakfast. Mom was in her office, writing, and Dad was probably at his lab in the middle of the city. The only people that were there were my younger brother and sister. They were six and twins, and had brown hair. Sadly, six is when kids start to annoy you and stop being quiet and obedient. 

George whispered loudly to Lily, “Olib looks sad.” 

I scowled at them. “Don’t call me Olib.” George and Lily giggled and threw stale cereal at me. I stomped into my mom’s office, wrenching the cold, silver door handle open and immediately I got hit by a stuffy smell. It seemed like my mom’s office didn’t have any oxygen in it. It looked like a common, messy office. Mom was sitting at her desk with her back to me, typing furiously on her laptop. Her trash bin was overflowing with crumpled pieces of paper, but random pieces floated through the room, and my mom was forced to look up and snatch at the air once in a while. “Mom, I really want to go skiing for spring break,” I say, choking on the musty air.

My mom turned around, bags under her eyes. “Olivia, for the last time, NO! How many times do I have to tell you?” 

“But, we’ve never gone for my whole life! All my friends have gone since they were small, and everyone except for me knows how to ski. Besides, it would be good for me, don’t you think?”

“Your father and I have jobs. What about George and Lily? We can’t bring them. You never want them to come anywhere with you.”

“Ugh, don’t other people have families too? They take time off for trips. We’ll bring George and Lily. Mom, it’ll be good for you and Dad’s health too.” 

My mom smiled and said, “Alright, we’ll go for a week and a half for spring break. Lucky for you, your dad’s boss is expecting a baby, and I just completed a piece of writing so I get a break. Your father or I will bring you tomorrow after school to buy ski gear for the whole family. Now get ready for school, the bus is coming soon.”

“Thank you, Mom!” I cried, hugging her. Then I hurried out of her office.

Back to the mountain.

I stomp into the crowded lunchroom with barely enough space to move, and the scent of french fries and chicken nuggets hit me. I am glad that we stopped skiing for now. I am also glad that George and Lily are not in my group. Imagine, my own siblings, in the same ski group as me. I sit down, yanking my ski helmet off. Suddenly, a group of kids come clamoring into the cafeteria. I hear an animated voice. “Nuh-uh, Scooby Doo! Barbie sucks!” I immediately recognize it as Lily. That meant George must be with her. I see his bright green ski helmet bobbing above the helmets of the four year olds in the group, and he seems to be ordering them around somehow. My siblings must be young enough to fit in, but old enough to have authority to be the leaders of this group. Lucky them. I scuttle to the lunch line, avoiding my siblings. But oh, I had to buy a neon rainbow ski helmet. George and Lily see me, and they cry out, “There’s our sister, Olib! She is on the same level  as us!” The whole cafeteria looks at me, every person turning in their black metal chairs to see. The food on the round, ugly table is forgotten, and as my siblings’ group erupts in raucous laughter, I erupt in fury.

I turn away, not wanting to show my bad side in front of so many people. My eyes well up, so I widen them to keep tears from spilling out. I grab the nuggets and fries from the lunch lady and hurry back to my seat. When I pick up the food, I squeeze it forcefully in my rage. In a moment, my hand starts to throb painfully. I release the soggy, wretched, and deformed chicken nugget, and I see that it has burned my palm and left my hand oily and shiny. I pick the nugget  up, and with no mercy, I shove it in my mouth. My favorite food has always been chicken nuggets, but it doesn’t taste so good anymore. The mood at lunch guarantees my mood for the rest of the day, and I decide to ask my parents to go home when I get back to the hotel.

“Can we go home?” I ask my parents at the hotel when my siblings are sleeping. They look at me in disbelief.

“But, didn’t you beg us to come here?” My dad asks, glancing at my mom to confirm.

“Yes, but it’s horrible. I came here too late, and now I’m so much older than all the other kids in my group. George and Lily are on the same level as me, and the kids my age are skiing like, double blacks and blacks!” I cry.

“Honey, you’ll improve,” my mom says. “If you try harder than everyone, you’ll improve faster. Soon, you’ll be rushing down the mountain like wind!” My mom pushes her hand in front of her as fast as it would go and makes a whoosh noise with her mouth. She thinks it sounds like the wind, but she is wrong.

“Sure,” I mutter. “But how much more of this do I have to endure? George and Lily taunting my every move?”

My parents look at each other, and my dad ruffles my hair. “You can do it, kiddo.” They climb into their bed, and sighing, I walk over to me and my brother and sister’s bed, shove them over, and climb in. I’m sure that I cannot sleep.

A year ago, at school

I walk into middle school. It is crowded by ugly and dented maroon lockers that are overflowing and people hurrying around to get to class. The lumpy gray walls are stained with who knows what, and the doors required full effort to be opened and the hallways smelled like rotten eggs. Hurrying to my locker, I open it and grab out my mini fluffy pink carpet. It feels so soft! I need it for school, because of the rotten egg smell. I press the carpet to my nose and inhale the smell of detergent. Without warning, I hear a crackling sound of the static of the speaker. The principal’s voice blares, “Class time,” and everyone rushes to their different rooms. I slam my locker closed and suddenly, a shadow falls over me.

Jessica, Britney, Hawke, and Ace stand over me. They are the Mean Machines. Ace and Hawke are famous for being loyal accomplices, Jessica is famous for being the heir to Britney, and Britney is famous for her hundred different expressions and being able to tell whether someone was lying or not.  I tremble all over. Hawke and Ace block my route to safety and Jessica and Britney advance toward me. “You don’t have any fashion style, do you?” Britney asks with the first of her one hundred different expressions, and I looks down at my purple sweater, green pants, and yellow sneakers. It hits me that she was right. “And, uh, what level did you say you were at skiing?” she asks.

“I never said anything about that,” I answer defiantly, regretting that I had discussed that topic so loud, so close to the Mean Machines during homeroom. “Now why don’t you get to class, it’s getting late.” Britney rolls her eyes and acts like she didn’t hear me. 

Jessica adds, “Britney and I go skiing every spring break. We’re skiing hard trails.” I didn’t say anything. She continues. “And I just can’t accept your fashion choices. Also, you’re not good at anything. You can’t play any sports, and skiing is easy. So why don’t you give it a try? I’d love to see you tumbling down an easy Magic Carpet trail.” The Mean Machines turn and walk away, Hawke and Ace flashing evil smiles at me.

I cry. There is nothing else to do but feel sticky tears run down my cheeks. When I walk into class, my nose is runny, my eyes puffy and red, tear streaks on my face, everybody stares at me. The teacher murmurs lazily, “Sit in your seat. You’re late.” He turns back to the chalkboard. I am staring at my desk the whole class.

Morning at the mountain

I wake up from the dream. The Mean Machines’ faces swim in front of my eyes, and I grit my teeth. But there is nothing I can do. They have continued tormenting me all the way up till now. I eat breakfast with my family, then I go to ski school.

Going there, I get a nasty surprise. Jessica and Britney are there with their parents, in matching pink skin tight ski suits. “Oh…hi, Olivia,” Jessica says. “Remember how Britney and I skied hard trails a long time ago? Well, now we’re racers, and very fast and good.” I look at her. She looks at me. 

Without warning, Britney interrupts in her sickly sweet voice, “Olivia, are you going to be here next week Tuesday?”

I think about it, then I say, “Yes, that’s my last day before I go back.”

“Well,” Britney says, “There’s a skiing competition at the back of the mountain. We would love it if you’d join.” She smiled, and the real meaning was clear: We would love to watch you make a fool of yourself. But that wasn’t going to happen. 

“Sure,” I said. “Do I need a skin tight suit?”

“No, you can wear that ski suit of yours. But be warned, you’ll be slowed down by the bulkiness.”

“Thanks for the tip!” I smile. Jessica and Britney walk past and their parents follow.

As Jessica walks past, she whispers, “It’ll cost money. You might want to rethink your choice, because it is pretty expensive.” She flips her hair and continues walking. 

“Where’s Ace and Hawke?” I call after them. 

Jessica glances at me and shrugs. “They’re back at home, gaming together. Why would you care anyways?” She doesn’t wait for an answer, but links arms with Britney and skips away, which is a feat I do not know how she manages with the awkward ski boots.

I practice as much as I can, and even after class ends I ski down trails by myself.

At night, I beg my parents for something again. But this time, it is the money to participate in the ski competition. But they say, “We don’t want to waste the money, there’s no point. It’s not even going to help you, and it’s not fun anyways. You’re probably not going to win anyways.”

“Please!” I implore. “Just this one competition.”

My parents look at each other, and my mom says, “I saw it on the ski map. It’s way back behind the mountain, and two hundred dollars. Olivia, do you really think we’re going to spend that money just so you can not even have fun?”

“I will have fun!” I cry out. “I have to beat Jessica and Britney!”

“What?” My parents ask, and I tell them what happened. 

My mom grinds her teeth in anger, and she says, her brown eyes flaming, “Olivia. You’re entering that ski competition, and you’re winning it.”

I ski hard. Every day, I stay out late, practicing. I work harder than anyone in my group. I level up quickly. And finally, I’m ready for the ski competition.

Jessica and Britney stand close to each other as my parents grudgingly hand over the money that is crumpled from them clutching it so hard. Jessica and Britney see me, but I cannot see their expressions under their ski helmets, but I’m pretty sure it’s not pleasant. A man in a ski cap talks into a gold microphone that says SKI on it. “Welcome to the Annual Kids Ski Race! All participants get on the ski lift to the trail.” I look back at my parents, who give me encouraging nods and thumbs up. I follow the other participants. My legs tremble a little bit, and the butterflies in my stomach start fluttering again. I almost regret my choice of joining, but not quite. 

After we’re on top of the icy trail, we get into a line. I’m nearly the last one because my last name starts with an X. I stop and inhale. I’ve come to love the cool and fresh smell of the mountain. When Jessica goes, it’s perfect. She’s like a bullet, whizzing around the obstacles. Britney isn’t so successful. She teeters for a moment in the middle, but regains her balance very fast. But one second in skiing is enough. It’s for sure, she can’t win. At the bottom, Britney screams and throws her poles on the ice, making a weird aaaaahhhh And boing sound. I smirk a little bit.

When it’s my turn, I crouch and lean forward. As soon as the buzzer sounds, I’m off, skiing like mad. I can’t believe how much I’ve improved since the first day I arrived at this ski resort. I forget everything when I ski, with the wind whipping around me. Jessica and Britney stare at me, and I can see Britney tremble in anger. I focus on turning my feet parallel. I’m skiing so fast that I can feel a shudder run through my legs as I ski over the bumpy ice. I stop at the bottom, and my mom and dad erupt in cheering. They aren’t the only ones. Most of the people there are clapping and nodding at me. I hardly notice the last couple of racers coming down the mountain.

The man in the ski cap talks into the microphone again. “It was very close, there were some ties. But third place goes to…Goyle Fredericks!” A burly boy takes the tiny trophy made of bronze and  snorts in disgust as he walks away. “Second place goes to…Jessica Hall!” The Ski Cap man says. Jessica looks so happy when she takes the medium sized trophy made of silver. I cross my fingers. “And,” the Ski Cap man yells, “The winner is…Olivia Xu!!” He holds out the huge gold trophy to me. My parents are screaming. I feel like I’m in a trance as I walk over to the man and take the trophy. My mom snaps a few pictures, and we start to walk back to the hotel.

On the way back, Britney catches up with us. Her parents, Jessica, and Jessica’s parents are way behind talking. Britney looks nervously at my parents. “Cengrejulshins,” she mutters without moving her mouth. 

“Sorry?” I ask. 

“Cengrejulshins.”

“Oh. Would it be any easier for you to spell it out?”

“I just wanted to say congratulations, okay?” she says.

“Thank you, Britney. Remind me why you hate me again?” I ask. She frowns and stalks away, but my spirits are too high to be quelled by her annoying manner, so I skip in front of my parents to the hotel. I realize that if your spirits are soaring, they can lift up your feet in those clunky ski boots.

My mom opens the door with the room card and I run inside. I’m upset when my parents don’t look happy. “Why are you guys looking sad?” I demand.

My dad glances at my mom. He seems to need confirmation for every word he says. “Well, uh, there’s this, um, problem with our jobs, er, we left, so, ah-”

“That’s enough,” My mom says. “I will explain it without hesitation. Do you remember when, in my office, I told you your dad’s boss was expecting a baby and I just finished a piece of work? Those were all lies. Our bosses don’t let us off, for some reason. That is why we haven’t brang you and the twins on vacation, ever. But we did, because your dad and I decided that you guys deserved it.”

It takes a moment for me to realize. “YOU LOST YOUR JOBS?” I scream. “WHY DIDN’T YOU TELL ME? WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD YOU DO THAT? THAT IS THE LEAST WORTHIEST SACRIFICE EVER!”

My dad winces. “Olivia, you waited so long to go skiing, and look, you got a gold trophy! We didn’t want to worry you.”

I glare. “THAT WAS NOT WORTH IT! YOU GUYS BOTH GAVE UP YOUR JOBS SO I COULD GO SKIING????!!!! AAAAAAAAAH! WE COULD’VE NOT GONE!” I remember when my mom and dad had locked eyes when they were paying at a ski shop, and how they so grudgingly handed over the money for the ski race. “THAT’S WHY YOU DIDN’T WANT TO PAY FOR ANYTHING! DID YOU GET A NEW JOB?”

The foolish humans peek at me and my dad says, “Uh, I got a job as a trash guy, because nobody else wanted it. Your mom, nah.” I groan and roll my eyes— in classic Britney-style. Britney! Britney’s family has billions of dollars and they live in a mansion. Now, they are residents in the most chic hotel in the mountain. How badly does Britney want this trophy? Would she pay money for it? But those thoughts would have to wait for later. I have to get a good night’s sleep, because tomorrow I will be going back home.

I shove my backpack into the car and squish into the backseat with George and Lily. It is very early in the morning, so thank god, the twins had fallen asleep as soon as they got into the car. My dad drives a tall car rolling on huge wheels. He starts the monster, and I lean my head on the window and stare out. Suddenly, I see a crazily flat car, looking like it got bashed with a hammer but stayed sleek and cool. I recognize it as Britney’s family’s car, and it’s driving right next to us. She looks despondent, so I sit up tall in my seat to look at her phone. Britney is watching a replay of herself skiing. Their car rushes past us, and I stare after it, pondering, for a long time.

When we get home, I throw my bag on my bed and collapse. The trip had been so long! It is already evening, so I decide that I need to do some research on Britney and her family, and then I would sleep for 11 hours.

Morning, I jump out of my soft and warm bed. The air is alive with the yells of George and Lily – and my mom and dad! Then I remember why I am hearing them. Because they are not at their jobs! It is the last day of spring break, so I take the chance to wear my fluffy sweater and sweatpants. Grabbing a handful of Fruity Cheerios and my gold-plastic trophy, I hurry out the door. I don’t even bother yelling at my siblings when stale cereal hits me on the back of my head, but I do bother yelling a good morning to my parents.

I run all the way across town to Billionaire’s Row. The biggest house looms in front of me. It is similar to the White House, just smaller. Still, it is very intimidating, with its white walls and floor-to-ceiling windows. I stare up and I see a window decorated with pink window stickers. I can just see the ceiling, which is pink. I know it is Britney’s room. I ring the doorbell, with much coaxing from the brave half of me. A narrow face flashes in front of Britney’s window and disappears. A couple of seconds later, the huge door creaks open.

Britney is standing at the door. “What?” she snaps, then spots the trophy and her eyes narrow. She probably thinks that I’ve come to brag in her face. “Fine, you won. I don’t care,” she growls.

“Did you want to win or did you want the trophy?” I ask. Some people like to just have trophies shining on their shelf. I hope Britney is like that. Her eyes widen, and I know that she’s deciding whether to lie or tell the truth.

“Just the trophy.” She lowers her head, miserable, like she just revealed her life’s biggest secret.

“Would you like to buy it?” I ask.

Britney’s head jerks up and she stares at me suspiciously. “Why would you want to sell it? It’s first place, and plastic mixed with gold.”

“I know.” I say, nodding.

Now that it is confirmed, Britney’s eyes light up with greed. She reaches into her pocket and extracts a pink purse. Then she freezes, and says, narrowing her eyes, “Why? What is the reason you would want to sell it? I am not buying it until you tell me.”

I try to coax her. With difficulty and with both arms, I lift the trophy up and wave it in front of her face. Then I tilt the trophy so it catches the glare of the sun. Britney does not move a muscle. I groan and say, “I want money to buy my favorite thingamajig from a store, alright?”

“Lie,” Britney says simply. She waits. I wait. She waits. I wait.

“I’m sure there are plenty of other people who would want this trophy and don’t want the reason.” I snap, but I don’t walk away. 

Britney smirks and starts to giggle. Then she starts to snort, then laughs full time. Suddenly her face becomes expressionless, and she looks at me and says, “Enough. Just tell me.”

So I do. It spills out of my mouth like a waterfall. It seems to me that I wanted to tell it before, but I didn’t want to at the same time. It is a relief to get it all out. Britney stands like a statue, her eyes fixed on me. When I’m done, Britney looks at me with a weird expression on her face. Then I realize that it is concern. I remember that her family used to be very poor. “Britney,” I say seriously. “I think you’ve just gotten your number one hundred and first expression.”

“Come with me,” Britney says. I’m pretty confused, but she leads me to an ATM machine and she inserts her credit card inside. Then Britney turns to me and frowns. “Don’t look, Olivia, I’m entering my passcode.” I turn away and look around. We appear to be inside a bank, and it is pretty empty. An old woman with white hair and glasses is slowly moving around behind a desk, doing stuff to papers from time to time. 

She looks up at me, takes around thirty seconds to process that I’m there, and says, “Oh, hello, may I help you?” Without waiting for an answer she turns and walks to the other end of the desk. 

Then Britney calls, “Okay, come here, Olivia.” I turn around and I see cash flowing out of the ATM machine as fast as words had flown out of my mouth. Then it jerks to a stop. “This is, I’m guessing, 500 dollars or so?”

“Oh my gosh, that’s so much, thank you!” I gasp.

She gives me a weird look. “That’s not enough! I’m giving you like, 200 million dollars. It’s just that the machine won’t give me anymore. ” I nearly DIED right then and there. 

“NOOOOOOOOO! Just pay the amount the trophy is worth!” The fact that I can take SO MUCH of someone’s money without doing anything will be enough to to make me guilty for the rest of my life.

“Okay, okay, 100 million dollars!” she cries.Without waiting for an answer, Britney marches up to the old bank lady. “Helga. 99 million, 999 thousand, 500, please.” She holds out her ATM card.

Helga smiles. “Hellllooooo, Britney.”

“Hello, Helga. 99 million, 999 thousand, 500.”

“How may IIIIII help you?”

“I would like you to take 99 million, 999 thousand, 500 out of my bank account.”

“Sooooooo. We are taking money out of a bank account.”

“Yes. 99 million, 999 thousand, 500, please.”

“Nooooooo. IIIIIIII cannot. You are underaged, Britney.”

Britney sighs in exasperation. “Okay, fine then. My parents will let me anyway.” She calls her parents. She glares angrily at Helga for being difficult. Helga blinks back at her slowly. Something similar to a staring contest happens between them, except Helga blinks constantly while Britney does not.

There’s a whirring sound outside the bank door and the flat car pulls out. Britney’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Tucker, walk arm in arm. “Yes, Britney? If you called us here for nothing, I shall be extremely upset,” Mrs. Tucker snaps.

I’m pretty sure Britney shrank a little. “Can Olivia get…100 million dollars?” She asks in a small voice.

“NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHY?” Mrs. Tucker roars. The sudden movement nearly jerks Mr. Tucker off his feet. Mrs. Tucker is furious. A hundred daggers shoot out of her eyes, ten at Britney and ninety at me. “DON’T YOU DARE TAKE MONEY FROM US, YOU UNSCRUPULOUS RASCAL!” She yells at me. Now she turns to Helga. “WHY DID YOU LET THEM DO THIS?” Mrs. Tucker screams.

Helga blinks. “Wellllllll, Mrs. Tucker, what is your question?”

“WHY DID YOU LET THEM DO THIS?”

“Because they-”

“TOO SLOW! WHATEVER!” Mrs. Tucker turns her angry gaze on everyone. This had never occured to me, but right now, Mrs. Tucker seemed 50 feet tall, while everyone else is as tall as an ant. At any second, she can stomp on us and crush us. 

Britney says, “Your motto is, ‘No act of kindness no matter how small is ever wasted.’ So…?”

“BRITNEY! I NEVER SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU MY MOTTO! I MEANT FOR THAT MOTTO TO MEAN THAT EVERYONE SHOULD BE NICE TO ME! I ONLY SAID THAT ON MOTHER’S DAY! AND YOU GUYS WERE LOUNGING AROUND, AND PROBABLY FORGOT THAT IT WAS MOTHER’S DAY!” Mrs. Tucker howls in frustration.

“Mother, you don’t want to be hypocritical, do you? And Dad and I did remember, it was SUPPOSED to be a surprise at night!”

Mrs. Tucker looks like a volcano, ready to explode. Her feet are shaking in their 7-inch thick heels. “Why didn’t you give me the surprise? Also, an act of kindness that I was referring to is like, giving a beggar a crumb!”

“No, your motto says any act of kindness, no matter how small. We didn’t want to because you were being mean to us.”

“YOU ARE BEING PLAIN HORRIBLE!” Mrs. Tucker stamps her foot, screeching like a howler monkey. She takes a deep breath. “Well then, isn’t it our choice how much to give?”

“Yes, OUR. Now I think we should give $100 million. Also, she is not taking money. I’m paying for this trophy.”

“Okay, pretend the trophy is an act of kindness from that human and let’s get out of here.”

“NO. I AM NOT DOING THAT.” Suddenly Britney stops, a smile on her face. “I’m sure that my followers on Instagram and Snapchat would love to hear about EVERYTHING my hypocrite of a mom did.”

Mrs. Tucker blanches. “You wouldn’t. I forbid you. Give me your phone RIGHT NOW.” 

Britney takes out her phone, takes a few steps backwards, and says, “I can send it immediately, but I’m not. Are you giving Olivia money or not?”

Mrs. Tucker hesitates. “Fine. Just don’t send it.”

But I didn’t want the money! I racked my mind to think of an excuse. “Guys, NOPE. I can’t bring it home anyway.” 

There is a triumphant look on Mrs. Tucker’s face as she looks smugly at Britney.

But Britney asks me, “What’s one of your parent’s phone numbers?”

“Uh, 4975935676.” 

“No it’s not.” Britney is using her crazy power again.

“9368036854.”

“Stop lying to me.”

“9175694589.”

“That’s better.” Britney dials the number and my mom picks it up. “This is Britney. Hi Mrs. Xu, you have to come to Bank of America. It’s an emergency. Bring Mr. Xu if possible. Olivia and I are on the third bank on Billionaire’s Row.” Then Britney hung up. “They’re coming,” she said, smiling widely. 

I know that my parents will be here any minute, because our once-happy house is right next to Billionaire’s Row, so I plead for Helga to help me, to hide me behind her desk. Britney forces me away. I start hyperventilating. Britney grabs my shoulders. “Stop it, Olivia. $100 million dollars is only a small portion of Dad’s money. It will not make a dent in it. So stop hyperventilating and take it!” 

Suddenly my mom and dad burst into the bank, panting. “What’s wrong? What’s happened?” they cry. 

I glower at Britney, and she grins at my parents. “May I talk to you guys privately?” My parents shoot me worried looks as they follow Britney to the other side of the bank, glancing at the pile of cash at the feet of the ATM. I am in a trance as I watch them talk.  I groan and cover my eyes. 

“Mr. or Mrs. Xu, do one of you guys have PayPal? The money I have here is…” Britney checks the ATM. “$500, so you guys are going to get $99,999,500.” 

My dad nods slowly, almost as slow as the woman behind the desk. He takes out his phone. My hands take over. I run over to him and snatch the phone from him, clutching it tightly. “We are NOT receiving 100 million dollars. This trophy is more plastic than gold. It is worth less than 100 million.”

“Oh. Kay. Fine. Then. One. Mil. Lee. Un. Dol. Ar. S,” Britney says in something close to a growl, and I know that she isn’t going to take no for an answer. “But…….that’s x200 less than what I was going to give you, so how about-”

My dad and I speak at the same time with me saying: “No no no no no, that’s okay” but with him saying with a shrug: “Um, sure.” There is a tiny gleam in his eye.

My mom just frowns. Finally she says, “Don’t pity us. We can get on fine.”

Britney turns to me and my dad. “So I’ll give you $1 million. And there’s an extra $500.” I regretfully hand my dad his phone and turn away. He’s going to take the money. 

 I decide I should constantly be giving Britney’s family stuff, but there probably isn’t anything I can give her that her dad can’t get or doesn’t have. “Britney,” I say, “What is your biggest desire, your need, your want?” I want to know so I can get her something.

But she shrugs and answers, “I don’t have one. I don’t need anything.” 

“What is your biggest secret?”

“My secrets aren’t big, they’re barely even secrets.” Wow. This is getting to be way harder than I thought it would be.

“Well then, tell me your biggest.”

“The biggest…why do you want to know?”

“AAAAAAAAH, WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN!” I scream.

“Okay, okay, the biggest is Jessica does my reading homework for me.”

“Why?”

“Um, I kind of am bad at reading.”

“Oh my. Okay,” I say thoughtfully. “Do you have any books at home?”

“No. And don’t push it.” Britney’s face is as red as a tomato. I don’t. Mrs. Tucker grabs Britney and marches out the door, growling like a starved animal the whole time. Tomorrow, over to Britney’s I go.

When I wake up, I don’t want to get up because my bed is soft, but then I remember why I even woke up, and I jump out of bed. My dad has to leave now because of his job as a trash guy, so he is wearing his old and faded Snoopy T-shirt, cargo pants, and a cap. He waves as I grab some cereal from the box. We walk out together, but I turn right and he turns left at the crossroad. We did not speak for the whole time, not even a “bye” when we split. It was a good kind of silence though.

I go into Barnes & Nobles with some money and buy the best books I can think of, the Harry Potter series. The line is long, and the cashier is about as slow as the lady in the bank. Finally, carrying the bag of books, I step out of Barnes & Nobles and continue on to Billionaire’s Row.

Once again I knock on the tall wooden door, and once again the door is opened by Britney. “It’s so early….” she yawns. “Whaddya got in that bag?” 

I hold it out to her. “It’s yours. I got it for you.”

“What’s in it?”

“Books.”

“Oh. That’s nice.”

“They’re Harry Potter.”

“Uh, the problem is, I can’t read Harry Potter.”

“Oh man. I’ll teach you!”

“Haha.” Britney smiles, then she gasps. “Wait. You’re not joking?”

“No, of course not.”

“Okay…”

“This time every morning, on your doorstep?”

“Sure…”

“You’ll try hard, right?”

“Yes. Duh! I am the queen of trying hard! Come to think of it, I am the queen of everything!”

I leave Britney, who is flipping through the first book with doubt. True to her word, Britney works crazy hard, as hard as I did on skiing. Every day we struggle through a chapter or so, and finally, one day, we finish Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Stone.

“I’m going-to have a lot of fun…with Dudley this sum-mer.” Britney stutters through the last sentence. She flips the page, but the only thing there is the About the Author. Britney looks up at me in shock. “I finished the book?” she asks in disbelief. I nod, grinning a little bit, and she starts to laugh. It is crazy. She throws back her head and shrieks, which I assume is manic laughter. Then she stands up, still shaking with laughter, and says, “Thirty minutes are up. I’m getting back inside.”

We speed through the rest of the books and finish all seven. It is nearly summer already. When we finish Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, Britney turns to me. “I will ask my repetitive question. Why?”

“It’s a long story…” I say.

“I have time. And tell everything, and what you thought of it, and how you processed it.” So I tell her. Fun fact: when she is interested, Britney is very good at listening. Once I finish, Britney is looking very, very sad. “I’m moving away this summer,” she says quietly. 

I gasp. “On the first day?” 

“Yes.”

“That’s in a week!”

“I know.” We sit side by side. Britney’s head is lowered, the success of finishing all the books forgotten. I don’t know how long we sat there. Finally, Britney stands. “What are you doing?” she asks.

“Just thinking,” I answer.

I left Billionaire’s Row that summer. My dad decided that “we should move to somewhere richer and fancier”. I wanted to stay, but I couldn’t. So on the first day of summer, I stood in front of our fancy car, clutching a book and the plastic/gold trophy. Olivia and her family were there to wave us off. “In the car,” my dad said, and I did, waving to Olivia. My dad started the car, and I looked out the window, waving until the Xu family was out of sight. That was the last time I ever saw Olivia, but she had given me something my dad couldn’t, and I remembered her. I still have the trophy. It sits on my counter, higher and separate than the other trophies. I learned how to write better, in a class in the city, and I wrote down in a journal, my first entry, everything that Olivia told me on the day we finished Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows, and I created this. The trophy is a souvenir of my old life in Billionaire’s Row.

Britney

Today the mayor of the town has gone out and stated that the entire pond has been dumped and taken away by an unknown villain. The mayor stated that there would be a $500 dollar gift for anyone who caught the person who stole it. The most important thing is that all the goslings are gone! The police are investigating and so far they have found some clues and suspects. One of them is named Jacob Hendreson. If you see him with a big truck that has animals quacking in it, tell the police immediately. We have seen him at the time of the stealing, but there were a few others there so we don’t know for sure. The other thing is that if you see someone by the pond, you should try to interrogate them. We also know that another suspect is Jimmy, who works at the doughnut store. He was seen close to when the crime happened as well. If you see him with a big trailer or a pond in his backyard then tell the police immediately.

It was early and I was going to get a doughnut from my friend Jimmy. I decided to go to the pond and sit for a bit, since I was tired. I saw a guy pull up in a big red truck and rip out the entire pond!!! I ran over, got into his truck and pushed him out. I drove the truck back to my house. I knew that someone was going to notice so I put the pond in the basement, and the goslings in the pond into my rabbit cage (they were so small that they all fit). A few hours later the police came in. They wanted to know if I had a pond. I knew what they meant and I was really scared.

I fake laughed and said, “No pond here!”

They left and I knew that I had to hide or destroy the pond. But I really did not want to because the pond was the town’s pride! But then I thought, what about the goslings? Where would they live? So I hid the pond in a better place. I put it in my closet. It didn’t fit too well but I didn’t think that people would go searching closets for ponds. I remembered the doughnuts and went and got some.

My friend Jimmy said, “The mayor went out and listed you as a suspect and said that if you saw anything suspicious tell him.”

Jimmy was nice so I was sure that he was not lying to me because he was nice and he was my friend. I was scared about that warning so I went back to my house and didn’t come out for the rest of the day.

I wanted to put the pond back but I would probably go to jail. I had an idea to put the pond back at night when no one was watching. I woke up that night and drove my truck with the pond in the back to the area where the pond used to be. I was about to put the pond down into the hole where it was when all of the sudden a police car went down the road. It was odd because there was no one else out. Then I remembered that it was take your duck to work day and that the police were taking their ducks to the pond to see if people were there. It was the only day of the year luckily. It took so long to remember that by the time I looked up I saw the policeman with handcuffs. Then I was being escorted away to jail.

I was in jail and I had to think of a way out. I saw a few keys that looked like they fit in the lock on a bench across the hall. I picked them up. The hall was very tiny. I opened the jail cell and looked for my car. I found my car with the pond still attached to it. I got in, got my keys, and drove away. I was ready to put the pond back when I realized that it was morning and my friend jimmy would be going to work at the doughnut shop, so I went back to my home. I felt really mad so I didn’t sleep too much so I went to my friend Jimmy’s store. I thought it would be nice to buy a doughnut from him, so I did. After that I looked and found out that there was nothing tonight and that nobody would be out so I could put the pond back. I got up at around 2 am and I got into my car and drove to the old pond area. I was about to put it back again when all of a sudden a bunch of people in birthday hats started singing the happy birthday song. This was the second time this happened! I was wondering what were the odds that this would happen two times? I was really mad so I went back to my house. I ate my doughnut in silence because everyone else was at the party. I then went to sleep. After that I had another normal day and I hoped that that night I would finally put the pond back into the hole that it was once in. I woke up that night and I got in the truck and drove over. I then put the pond in finally and drove back home. I really hoped that nobody would notice the pond back or they would trace it back to me. I was wrong.

The next day police came to my house and put me in court. The judge was Mr. Duck. A duck. He sentenced me to two years in jail. That’s when I saw the bad guy, the man in the truck. He looked super happy, like he was enjoying the fact that he wasn’t going to jail. He looked like a big guy that had too many doughnuts and he had a big scar across his face. Then I knew who it was: it was Jimmy all along! I had him come up and he said that he did it. Finally it was over. And I had ended this craziness. I went back home and got into bed. I saw on the news that the bad guy had gone to jail. I was so happy that I just went to sleep and stayed in bed for a day. Mostly because I was super tired though. I looked in the mirror and was shocked that I was so tired (well not really) and that I looked like I was really hungry. So I got some food and got back into bed. I was just so tired.

Chapter 1

Once upon a time… there was this guy named Bob, and stuff, I think. He lived in a house near a gurgling river. And in that river, instead of fish, there were swimming watermelons! And he lived underground with moles that were pears! And the oven was a heated banana! And the world was a hollow coconut! So he went above ground and saw a sunflower seed ant! The grass was hard like coconut skin and a pumpkin seed beetle.

If only I could find the Fruitanator 3000 and reverse it, thought Bob. So he set off to find the Fruitanator 3000. First he found a map and it said to go to The Pineapple Forest. So he went there and found the next clue. It said to get to the other side of the forest and find the next clue. When he got to the edge of the forest he found the Plains of Rambutan. There he found a colony of banana seed termites! They were running toward him. But they weren’t coming for him. He looked behind him. There were about 3000 grape bees! They came in groups from 30-400 per hive! Their hives were as big as fourteen golf balls. But their hive was made of Saltines. The bees could sting and that hurt! So Bob slithered every which way, dodging the bees.

Once that was over he saw an old wall covered in moss. It wasn’t just a wall though… it was a whole house! Who would live here? Bob whispered to himself. He went over to the house. There he saw the second clue! It said: Now go to the tundra made out of whipped cream, there you will find the last clue. Finally you will find the Fruitanator 3000. 

Finally! he thought. 

Chapter 2: The Fruitinator 3000

He found out that it was a long walk to the whipped cream tundras and he didn’t have proper gear. But on the way, he saw a small hut. He went inside and found out that there were a whole ton of jackets, boots, and hats. There were even sweatpants. He found out that it was a shop. He went to go pay for the things he wanted. He grabbed two hats, one jacket, three pairs of sweatpants, and two pairs of boots. Then he paid and it was a total of only thirteen dollars. Then he left to go on his adventure to the tundra.

A few days later he got there and he started looking. After a while he found a huge house and went in. Then he fell down a secret doorway.

He walked down the hallway and finally, enclosed in glass, there was the Fruitanator 3000. But then he realized he would have to go back home, through plains, through The Pineapple Forest, and finally back home where the moles were as green as the grass (FYI they were pears). On the long walk home he met one final animal. It was a giant lion made out of more than a trillion different seeds. He got past it by sneaking past him carefully. Then he went home and reversed the Fruitanator 3000 and zapped everything back to normal. 

A UFO was spotted yesterday on June 7th over Brooklyn NY.

Meanwhile, mysterios MIBs (men in black) have been popping up all over Brooklyn.

Nobody knows where they have come from. On a side note, local pigeons have gone missing.

Here are some precautions to keep in mind: 

1: Try to have nothing to do with MIBs (men in black).

2: If you see a UFO, STAY AWAY, and call 911.

3: If anyone you know, their pets, or their children disappear, call 911.

4: If you notice a family member acting strangely, call 911.

5: If you see anything weird JUST CALL 911!

Here, Mrs Jane Landrish, 46, tells us about a UFO she spotted; she was one of the first to see them:

“It was 8:00 at night, and I was out for a walk. I was on 11th street and 6th avenue. I saw a shape in the sky. At first I thought it was an airplane, but then it lit up with a blinding white light. I closed my eyes, and felt it whoosh past. I opened my eyes. It was a strange, saucer shaped object, and it was hovering over a stray cat. I watched, as some sort of tractor beam pulled the cat into the ship. (I’ll just call that thing a ship.) I ran, terrified, back home, and locked the door.”

The interview ended there, with Mrs Landrish breaking into a cold sweat.

That’s what the newspaper said this morning. Yes, I read the newspaper, but only because my grandfather leaves it lying around. Anyways, I found that pretty intriguing. UFOs in Brooklyn! I put down the newspaper and turned to lie on my back. Ahhhh, Saturdays. I can do whatever I want, whenever I want. No school. As I lie in bed and I stare up at the ceiling, I wonder if there really are UFOs in Brooklyn, or if it’s just a hoax.

I heard my door open. I look towards it. My dad’s standing in the doorway.

“You okay, kiddo?” He asked. 

“Yup.” I replied.

“Phew,” he said. “I was starting to think that you would never wake up!”

With that, he closed the door. I rested my arm on my night stand and knocked over my glass of water. I screamed. The water was still freezing. I heard footsteps. My door burst open. My grandpa was standing there. He took in the scene and then closed the door.

“False alarm!” I heard him yell to my mom and dad. I heard them run back down the stairs.

I sighed. It wasn’t enough that I was unpopular, I had to be clumsy. Plus I lost my favorite manga yesterday. And I was pretty sure I was coming down with a cold. AND a dog bit me yesterday. Thankfully, it was not a stray, it had been spayed. Yay, I didn’t have rabies. Still, stuff was pretty bad for me. I grabbed my phone. It was time to text my best friend, Amelia.

Hey!  Amelia!

What?

U free for laser tag at 1?

Of course, it’s Saturday!

I don’t have any other  plans! 

Oh yeah, how could I forget? LOL

See ya at 1!

I will so beat u today!

That’s what u think!

I turned off my phone. Well, at least now I had something to do. To be honest, just lying here in bed on my back was pretty boring. I got up, went to my closet, and pulled out some clothes: a turquoise size 12 t-shirt, a midnight blue hoodie, and some jeans. Then I checked my apple watch. It was 10:07. I had exactly one hour and fifty three minutes before I had to be at Lighting Lasers, the laser tag place. I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a blueberry muffin. I ate it, then poured some orange juice into a cup, and took a swig. Nice and refreshing. Then I pulled on my turquoise converse high tops, and tied them. Then I grabbed my turquoise water bottle. Okay, you can say it. I like turquoise. Nearly everything I own is turquoise or blue. I ran outside and started my morning run.

I stepped outside and felt a warm, fresh breeze. It was a warm, sunny spring day. As I went to close the door, my pomeranian puppy, Emory, came through the open door, running, and jumped on me.

“Whoa!” I shouted, my arms flailing as I tried to regain my balance. Then I fell on my butt. “Ow!” I yelped. I stood up, trying to act as though that hadn’t just happened.

I heard someone say, “That looked painful.” 

I whirled around, trying to find the person who had spoken. It was my brother, who was standing in the doorway. He was fifteen, three years older than I am. He smirked at me, and I could see that he had his phone in his hand, which was replaying a video of what had just happened.

“You *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored* *censored*!” I screamed. “You’d better not post that!” 

“Okay, okay, I won’t post it.” he said.

“Good.” I said, turning away.

“Oops!” I heard him exclaim. I turned around, and he was smiling at me. “Posted it!” 

“Aaghhh!” I yelled. I ran at him, my fists clenched, and punched him in the face. 

“Ouch!” he yelled. It didn’t stop with one punch, though. I had been taking taekwondo lessons, and I was a black belt. I punched him again, hit him with roundhouse and snap kicks, hit him with a neck chop, and punched him some more. By the time I was done, he was sporting a bloody nose and lip, a black eye, several bruises, and a broken arm.

He lay on the ground, curled into a fetal position. He had no idea that I had been taking taekwondo, and he had no idea how good I was.

“You know what?” I said. “I think that’s enough exercise for now. I’m going inside.”

I stepped over his trembling body, and into the house. I set down my water bottle, and picked up my phone. 

At that very moment, my phone rang. It was Amelia. Funny, I was just about to call her. I answered the call and heard her voice on the other line.

“Maia! Come quick! We’ve got a situation at laser tag.”

My dad drove me to laser tag. When I stepped inside, I saw Amelia arguing with two boys. The owner of Lightning Lasers, Josh, was sitting in the corner, reading a book.

“You can’t be here right now!” I heard Amelia saying. “We made a reservation!”

“We?” One of the boys said. “I don’t see anyone else with you. Who are you talking about, your imaginary friend?”

I could see Amelia getting angry. I decided that now would be a good time to step in.

“Oh, hi Amelia. Want to tell me what this is?” I asked, gesturing at the two boys.

“Maia! Thank goodness you’re here! I’ve been trying to tell these two that they can’t be here, because we made a reservation, but they won’t listen to me, and Josh has not done us a whit of good!”

“Huh?” Josh asked, looking up from his book.

“Don’t just sit there like it’s tea time, help us out!” Amelia screamed.

Okay, I should probably explain all the British-y stuff. See, Amelia’s mom is from England, and whenever Amelia gets angry, she starts talking like she’s British. Including a British accent. But the accent is only when she’s really mad, so it probably won’t come up now, over a thing like laser t-oh, the accent has kicked in.

“Listen, we were here first, so just leave and nobody get’s hurt.” She said, now with a British accent. To show that it wasn’t an idle threat, she punched one of the boys in the stomach.

“Hey!” he exclaimed. That’s when a full fledged fight broke out. Fists and feet flying everywhere. 

That’s when I heard a voice.

“Ahem.” I looked toward the sound of the voice. It was Josh. He had finally looked up from his book. “If it helps, we have a new version of laser tag. It’s a four person game.”

“Why didn’t you tell us this earlier?” I demanded.

“I was occupied.” He held up his book and pointed at it.

“Ugh. You are SO annoying,” I said. “But yes, we will play the four person game, IF we get to be against them.” I pointed at the two boys. 

“Sure, whatever you want,” he said. “I don’t care.” 

I turned to look at the boys. It was payback time!

As I stepped into the huge, darkened room, designed for laser tag, I noticed that it had changed a bit. The walls were taller, and there were a few more power ups on the walls. I strapped on my gear and grabbed my laser tag gun. Then I was ready to go. 

The five minute timer started, and it was time to play. I hid in my favorite spot, in the corner behind the wall with a hole for a window. I saw the boys sneaking around, staying close to the walls. I jumped out from behind the wall.

“Payback time!” I yelled. Then I noticed the laser tag guns in their hands. They looked like something you would see in a sci-fi movie.

“Whoa.” I said. “Where did you get those? Did you bribe Josh?”

“No, foolish human.” One of the boys laughed. “These are ours. And they are real.”

“Wait, I’m sorry, what? A, you’re not allowed to have real guns in here. B, you’re not allowed to scare your opponents on purpose. And C, we’re all humans.”

“Those rules do not apply to us,” he said. Now he and his friend were walking towards me. The lighting was making their skin look grayish.

“Um, yes they do. They apply to everybody.” I said.

  “But not to us.” he replied. Now it looked like his hair was shrinking back into his head, and his teeth were growing sharper. It also looked like his eyes were turning completely white. That’s when I realized that everything that I thought was happening was actually happening!

“Y-you’re aliens!” I stammered.

“Yes. We knew that you would make that connection eventually. You, of all people, believe that we might be real. And we are. However, we are planning to conquer Earth, and if you had figured out that we were real, then you would have been a serious threat to our plan. So, we must stop you from figuring out that we are real. And there is only one way to do that.”

I started backing up. “W-what are you t-talking about?” I asked, fearing that I already knew the answer. I kept backing up, and then tripped and fell on my butt. I kept backing up, using my hands to pull and my feet to push. I felt my back hit the wall. 

The aliens were still walking towards me. I covered my face with my arms. The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was one of the aliens pointing their gun at me.