Cactus

Guy and Cactus are punching each other in zero gravity floating in space. They are right above the moon. They’re waiting for a shuttle than can take them to Uranus. They are punching each other because one wants the border wall between Uranus and its moon, Myanus.

Guy

The wall is good!


Cactus

The one between Uranus and Myanus? That one is shit!!!


Out pops a map from behind the stage. It shows “Uranus” and “Myanus,” with a wall between them. Then the map flips around, and it shows what Cactus wants. An empty space and a bridge between them.

The shuttle picks them up. (Cactus and Guy are walking around the stage.)

(They are on Myanus now.)

There is a tree that says, “Welcome to Myanus,” on a sign.

They start punching each other again.

Cactus 

We’re on Myanus?!


Guy 

No, we’re on Myanus!!!


Cactus 

No, we’re on Myanus!!!


Guy

No, we’re on Myanus!!!

Guy runs to the border and starts piling bricks for the wall.

Cactus runs over and starts taking bricks to the bridge.

(This keeps on going for 10 hours.)

(Both people faint.)

The next day… 

Guy eats a Big Mac burger.

Cactus eats a watermelon.

An hour later… 

Guy

We’re on Myanus!


Cactus

No, we are on Myanus!

Random guy wearing a shirt that says “no wall.” Guy whacks random guy on the head.

(Random guy does not like Guy because he does not like the wall.)

Guy is dead.


Cactus 

Hooray! 


He now gets everything he wants (that is reasonable). Some things that are reasonable are gold, gold, and gold. Cactus gets showered in gold.


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