“The wizard always dreamed to talk. He never went to school, that’s why he couldn’t talk. If he never talked, he could never make any spells. He was six years old. The wizard was called Cedric the Sensational.”
The wizard always dreamed to talk. He never went to school, that’s why he couldn’t talk. If he never talked, he could never make any spells. He was six years old. The wizard was called Cedric the Sensational. He was not the one who made that name — the wizard’s dad made it. Cedric the Sensational always tried to tell his dad that he hated that name. It was too fancy and too “sensational.” His real name was Potato, but his dad called him Cedric the Sensational because he was embarrassed that his son was called Potato. It was sort of his mom’s fault, because she named him that. He was also a little shy, because his name was Potato. People bullied him. They said, “Why is your name Potato? That’s, like, the worst name I ever heard of. And why are you so fat?”
One day, the wizard, Cedric the Sensational, said, “Now I know why they called me Potato — they thought I was fat. They called me that at school. Now I think I’ll ditch school and be homeschooled. But my mom doesn’t know how to speak English. So now, my mom can talk in the other language that she knows, which is Spanish, and I’ll understand, and I’ll say two or three words in English, and I’ll be like a two-year-old to people who don’t know Spanish. That’s what everyone says at my school — that I can’t talk at all.” He said in Spanish, “pero tú no sabes hablar en español,” which means “You don’t know how to talk in Spanish.” He was a little angry but mostly sad.
And Cedric the Sensational had enormous arm muscles that couldn’t even fit in the stores. He was always working out at his gym because he wanted to be the strongest at his school, so everyone would know that he was cool, but it didn’t work. So when he went in a store, he was knocking down everything, even other people. No one knew what happened to him, he just grew so big, as big as a building. He always wanted to be small again, but he couldn’t talk, and his mom didn’t teach him the spell, so he couldn’t make a spell to make himself small again.
So, his mom was going to do a spell in Spanish because she understood Spanish better than English. So then, Cedric the Sensational became a Spanish sorcerer. He learned lots of alphabets, but only two spell words, because his mom didn’t have any time to spend time with Cedric the Sensational. He really wanted to do spells, but he couldn’t talk, so he couldn’t do anything. He couldn’t cast any spells. He couldn’t walk because he was too fat. He had one finger, two legs, three pairs of arms, and twenty pieces of hair. Cedric the Sensational looked really bad, and everyone called him fat, but he was actually an alien. Everyone looked at him as a wizard.
Cedric the Sensational met a unicorn with a birthmark that was in the shape of a heart, and the unicorn was mad at him. He was growling and baring his teeth, which were a little pointy. Cedric the Sensational had no exact idea why. The unicorn had a blue eye and was staring at him like he didn’t know anything. No one else knew what happened.
The unicorn was another alien, and he thought he looked like a normal, regular unicorn, and in his world, all the unicorns look exactly the same, but the unicorn had a rainbow horn, twenty eyes, one nose, forty-five arms, ninety-nine feet, and forty-nine legs. The unicorn came from their planet. The planet was called Forklimon. It was made out of forks and mon. No one knew what mon was, so that was why the planet was so mysterious. It had talking alligators and really, really long worms the length of buildings. It was a land of candy and pretzels and Goldfish and fruit snacks, and everyone was crying with happiness, and even if they broke their arms, they would still be crying with happiness. Everyone was cool there, but there were only two people who were really cool, as you can see, on the bottom.
“Come with me,” said the unicorn, grinning mysteriously. No one knew where Cedric went.