A Million Ways to Have Fun

by Adam Diaz, age 9
A Million Ways to Have Fun

“Me and my friends on the baseball team were watching the game before ours, and one of the teams that was playing got crushed 11-nothing. After that game, we played and we watched how the kids pitched. They were terrible at pitching.”

Me and my friends on the baseball team were watching the game before ours, and one of the teams that was playing got crushed 11-nothing. After that game, we played and we watched how the kids pitched. They were terrible at pitching. They were horrible because they threw balls behind their backs and balls were going over heads. It was walk, after walk, after walk until the coaches started pitching.

We finally hit stuff, and we hit home runs finally! It was a long game because we could score as many points as we wanted.

When the game finally was over, our coach tricked us by saying, “You did horrible!” But then he said, “Just joking, you did great!”

 

The next game we play I hope we will win.

 

When I had recess a couple of times, a girl that was not my friend in a different class always tried to give everybody hugs. She was not tall and very slow. She had short brown hair and when she tried to catch all the boys, she almost caught me! And then, because I had friends right next to me, I told them to just start running.

My friend, Dylan, was the main attraction. When we ran under the volcano and we saw her at the other end. Thankfully, we could go up, so we all climbed up the ladder as fast as we could and sprinted down the slide. There was a spiderweb at least 20 feet away, so we climbed up it and into the top. The girl was too afraid to to get to the top so we stayed up there for the rest of recess.

I went down before recess was over and a girl named Carly was right there at the bottom and no one was at the other side of the park so I ran and Carly chased me. It was pretty scary until I rolled under a branch. And when I got to the other side, six boys were standing right in front of me.  We grouped up and than we spread out all over the park and we all got chased at least once. And when we met up, Carly was at least two feet away from us. I was so scared, I almost started screaming for help. And then we all just ran for dear life in every which direction.

 

It was fun and totally not boring.

 

When I had a three man team in baseball we always got beat. I was the only good player on my team. We never got to the championships because we had the worst kids.

 

It was totally not fun.

 

Once when I was at a swim meet, I had a 600 butterfly. It’s hard stroke to do but when you get the hang of it you can get really good at it. I came in first, but I fell out on deck and when I woke up I was in the hospital with at least 20 of my teammates surrounding me. They looked blurry at first and then I realized who they were, but I still couldn’t see that well.
And when my mom came in she said, “You lost your goggles.”
Then my dad came in and said, “When did you get in here? And how did you get here?”

I replied, “I think I fell out on deck and just laid there flat out. and I really don’t know how else I would have gotten here.”
I think I was in the hospital for three days. When I came home, I asked where my grandma was, and my mom said, “She’s out at the supermarket.”

And I said, “Why couldn’t you drive her over there? I could have stayed in the hospital for a couple more hours.”

And then we drove to where she was and picked her up and brought her home. She lived on the same street as us. She always gives me candy when she goes to parties and if I’m lucky, we will go to Chelsea Piers. If I’m lucky, I will also see my friends. We will play arcade games and we will always get to the last level and then five seconds later we would almost beat the game and then we die. If I think a shot will hurt, it will feel like a rainbow hitting my head.

I’m usually an opposite guy.

Funny Friends – One Guy

Will, my best friend, is big, and he’s in my grade and goes to my school. He thinks he’s better than me at swimming. I haven’t seen him swim that fast but he says he can swim really fast. And he thinks he’s the king of the world. He thinks he’s related to Hitler, but what I always tell him is, “You’re not related to Hitler.”

For some reason, he punches himself and he punches the wall of our gym. It’s very odd how he punches everything he sees. I would have to run away to not get punched. But thankfully, he has the sense to not punch me. He almost punched the teacher. He actually punched our playground. He literally punched the volcano on our playground. He snapped a string on the spiderweb, but thankfully nobody fell. Luckily, nobody saw him do it, because there was a park ranger a couple feet away from him. And for some reason, he hates poetry. The only thing he really likes is punching things and gym, and art. The only reason why he likes art is because he gets to help clean up and he likes doing that for some reason.
Last year, he was punching my friend Maisai and the only reason why he did that was because he doesn’t like when he jokes around. Maisai was joking around about everything you could think of. He chased Will all day long. Everywhere he went he saw Will. Will dared him to jump off a 2-story building into a pool, and for some reason, he did it, and thankfully it was 12 feet deep. So he did not hurt himself.

It was fun watching them, but it was amazing that Masai did not get hurt.

Today, in swim practice, when I was swimming, I got hit at least 20 million times. And when I did, I got run over, so I couldn’t breathe for at least a couple seconds. They were drowning me underwater because there were at least nine people behind me, and I had to push up and stand up so I could get back where I was. It’s pretty odd because I’m the fastest one, but I was in two different lanes so it would be normal for me to be doing that. I had to race 9-year-olds, 10-year-olds, and 11-year-olds. It was fun and thankfully I beat all of them.

“Why won’t you stay in your lane?” said my coach.

And I said, “Okay, I will stay in my lane.”
So we did a 900 kick – a 900 free kick. It took me a long time to finish, but I came in first. I was happy and glad, but I did not cheer. And it seems like this is over, but when we had breakfast, oh my gosh. Everyone was talking about the 900 free kick and how good I was. It was really fun and somehow annoying, because everybody was talking about me.
When people talked about me, I told them, “If you hear anybody talking about me, tell them this is from the master: ‘Do not talk about me.’”
The next day, even more people were talking about it. Even news reporters said, “So many people are talking about this kid that did a 900 free kick.”
Then, people started coming to their swim classes and they asked me, “Are you going to be an Olympic swimmer?”
I said, “Maybe, maybe not.”

And then, I had bad luck that day. Somebody dropped a radiator on my car and a couch fell right next to my head. And then, our car caught on fire and the couch was in the car so the couch exploded and the whole city could see a car flying in the air somehow. I was scared. The day I came back to that same exact spot, the car went up, and then I saw a giant car come crashing down, making a crater in the Earth.
And then there was a blackout and then a war began and it was so not fun. I stayed in my house and a man came crashing through the building and I mean, falling from the sky. It was so scary because it was an old man just falling from the sky.

And he said, “Why do you want my presents?”

And then I said, “Who are you? What do you want from my life? Where’d you come from? How did you get here? When did you get here? And, I’m guessing, you made the couch and the radiator fall. Why did you do that to me and when did you do that?” And then I finally said, “You can leave my house and go up to where you work and stay there for your life.”

And that day was fun, scary, and guess what day it was? Halloween.

One day when I was walking home from school, this guy walked up to me and said, “What are you doing? This is a haunted room.”
“I thought this was a living room,” I said.
When I saw the guy randomly disappear into a deep black hole, I followed him and then he said, “Come with me and I will show you your doom, and if you survive, I will give you this house.”

I still followed him even though I could possibly die. And then iI entered a world of superheroes. I knew this was a superhero world because everyone was flying, shooting fire out their mouths, or running very fast.

When I said, “Hi superheroes,” their eyes turned red.

Then I started running back to the door that I came from. The guy slammed the door in my face and I was locked in, and there was no way to get out unless a superhero punched it down. But thankfully it was my lucky day so when I punched one of the superheroes they all turned into candy.

And then there was another black hole I had to go through, and there was a ghost that kept floating around. Thankfully, you could walk through them and they’d do nothing to you. There was a big staircase that led to the lobby of the house. It took me an hour to get all the way up the stairs and then I saw a giant floating baby head but thankfully you could go through it so it did nothing to you.

Then I walked out the house and what I saw was a town of angry mobs. And then I went back into the house and then the house turned upside down so I was on the ceiling. And then there was another black hole you had to go through and then the superheroes were there, and this time when you punched one they give you one piece of candy.  And then I had to destroy all of them for ten pieces of candy. The house was like an unreal house. It was a world of black holes. There was this one magical book that could stop the whole thing, but you would have to jump over 900 black holes to get to it.

And this weird man came out of nowhere and said, “If you want to get the magical book and stop all that’s happening, you will need a jetpack, a rocket, and two more jetpacks.” The weird man looked like a man, but he had hair like a cow and his face looked like a duck’s. His legs were shaped like buildings and his feet were shaped like pigeons. And then he gave me all the stuff I needed to get across. After one black hole, one of the jetpacks ran out, but thankfully the man had given me everything I needed. But then I had to get away from the black holes to read the book. But thankfully, I had a rocket with me and could fly over through six million black holes. And there was only one last black hole to go over, so I was happy and there were no problems. But the directions said to be careful because when the haunted house ends it will blow up. When I finally got outside, the house blew up. Thankfully I was not inside it. The angry mobs were still chasing me, so I read the book while I was running for dear life. You had to say six secret magical spells, and then everything would return to normal. And then it finally did: the sun was back, the angry mob was gone, and all the angry mobs turned into regular humans.

I am so glad I never had to be one of them.

My life is the best life I could ever have.

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